kokoro-goto

Review: Nem's Garden Moratorium

2011-07-29T12:45:00.003+08:00

Haven't done an album review for a while, but Nem's Moratorium is completely justified in having it's own post. I didn't realise this was out until I was searching for lyrics and stumbled upon a site announcing its release.

Anyhow, the album - Nem's Garden Moratorium. I won't say I was a huuuuge Nem fan prior to listening to this album, but I do like quite a lot of the songs he wrote and composed (Scissorhands, Somatic Delusion, Summer Rain etc). So let's start with an intro to the tracks:

1. カノン
2. Ophelia
3. 嗚呼、素晴らしきニャン生
4. virjin suicides
5. ネバーランド
6. Somatic Delusion
7. シザーハンズ
8. 名前をください
9. サマーレイン
10. 宵闇のアウグスティン
11. スターマイン
12. 予感
13. さようなら
14. 楽園
15. あやつりピエロと君の歌

There are quite a number of songs which I've never heard before on this album, and I find myself liking each composition, which is relatively rare for me. Utaite featured in this album: Amu, Miichan, Dasoku, Ren, Faneru, Gero, Clear, Nero, Asamaru and Jack. Nata chips in for chorus and voicing for some of the songs. I've gotta say this album's got quite the lineup, given that each of these utaite are powerhouse names in their own rights, with large fanbases. I was really looking forward to listening to the album when I first saw the lineup.

カノン by amu

This is the first time I've listened to Kanon, and it's a very cute song. The composition was upbeat, with a bright melody, and with Amu at the vocals, I think the cute factor was amplified by 100 times. The high parts are just adorable with Amu's range, and the verses sound just as good, playing on Amu's slightly nasal tone with the lower end of his range. It didn't particularly stick with me, though, so this is one of those songs I'll only want to hear on occasion.

Ophelia by みーちゃん

I first heard Ophelia by Dasoku in 4x4, so I had high hopes for this song given that Miichan's voice profile belongs in a similar category (note: eroi) XD I would say it was pretty enjoyable since Miichan's voice is a lot more versatile than Dasoku's. I say this objectively coz I'm usually biased to Dasoku lol. Miichan's vocals were stronger here, giving the song a less erotic, but more resounding feeling. A refreshing change from Dasoku's breathy eroi version.

嗚呼、素晴らしきニャン生 by amu & みーちゃん

I heard the original Vocaloid for this, and listening to Michamu singing this is like...perfect! I love how the album fully used the "married vocal couples" for all the duets, and I think the vocal profiles of Amu and Miichan for this song are well-suited. While the original song was just full of cute, Miichan gave Len's parts a lot more maturity and depth, while Amu made Gumi's parts sound really sweet, all the while keeping the song's original cuteness intact. But since I haven't heard any other covers for this song yet, I can't quite compare.

virgin suicides by 蛇足

First listen was clear and Miichan's ver in 4x4. Like in his version of Ophelia, Dasoku somehow managed to make this song sound more soulful than I had initially expected this to be. While I really like the duet between Clear and Miichan and the combination of their vocal profiles, listening to Dasoku solo on this is pretty good too. Dasoku emphasized more on the slightly bittersweet feelings in this song, choosing to match his vocals to the rock beats and lyrics, instead of pulling out his sexy voice, which I think is suitable. I also noticed the extra lyrics at the end, which wasn't present in the Clear x Miichan version.

ネバーランド by 【蓮】

I like Ren's voice in general, and I think he's pretty versatile, but I can't help but think that this song doesn't highlight his voice. But I could be wrong since this is my first time listening to this song. Mhn, how should I put this...I guess I imagined that Miichan would be better suited to this song rather than Ren. It's good, but I still think his voice is better highlight in other songs.

Somatic Delusion by 蛇足 & 【蓮】

One of my favourites from Nem. This song had a high bar in terms of expectations, since I first heard Michamu sing this, and I loved that version SO MUCH! It was good, in a different way. I loved Michamu's version purely due to the combination of their vocals. The harmony was much, much better between them, since Amu and Miichan's vocals are essentially very different, so they accentuate each other's vocals when they harmonize. Between Dasoku and Ren, I couldn't really hear the harmony, whether it was due to the recording, or the fact that their vocal profiles were somewhat similar to begin with. But I would say I got a very different interpretation of this song. With Michamu, the song sounded somewhat sweet, as though a pet sang this to its master, clamoring for attention. But 1122 gave this song a much more adult, mature tone. I guess I would say it's very...otona (大人). Personally, when you listen to the lyrics when Dasoku and Ren sing, you definitely don't get the pet image. No, you get a completely different image in your head, if you get what I mean. So yes, different interpretation, but just as good.

シザーハンズ by ふぁねる

Another one of my favourites, and I've heard so many versions that I don't think it's fair to compare Faneru's to all the countless covers out there. Faneru's range is typically high, and his singing style somehow makes me think of his voice as adorable. Now, this song is meant to be sad and kind of lonely, but listening to Faneru's vocals made me think this song was cute. This is especially apparent at the higher parts. I guess the way to say this would be that it sounds kind of...naughty? I think it's pretty good in its own right.

名前をください by Gero

First off, this is another new song to me. The lyrics are very sad. The melody and composition are very sad. Add Gero's heartbreaking voice to that. You get a song which gives you a lot of ow...especially during the chorus. Gero has one of the most versatile vocal profiles I've heard among the utaite (imho of course) and when he sings ballads, it has a very clear, heartbreaking quality. With this song, it sounded as though he injected a very personal touch and really meant the lyrics of this song, which is really...a lot of ow. One of the better songs yet.

サマーレイン by ふぁねる & Gero

One of my favourites, first heard on PointFive's Enhance by Asamack, and then heard again in osanajimi's First Contact. Each version had a slightly different profile, but I'll use Asamack's version as a point of comparison. NeGero had always come off as a baka-baka pair to me ever since I saw that NeGero Magnet and Hitobashira Alice. But I think it's a very refreshing change to hear them sing a ballad together. Asamack gave the song a very warm feeling, with Asamaru and Jack's vocals being more well-blended. In this version, Gero's vocals grounded the song a lot, so at some parts, it does sound like Faneru's vocals got overpowered. But this version sounded more setsunai (切ない). There is a sense of melancholy underlying the song, giving it a slightly different interpretation compared to Asamack's version.

宵闇のアウグスティン by clear

I think Clear's vocals have come a long way from his trademark clear, transparent voice. Now it has a lot more depth, making this song quite dynamic. This was a new song to me, and listening to the lyrics, I imagined that if Clear has sung this with that resounding transparent voice, it would sound beautiful, but flat. For a song like this, I imagine a little attitude would be highlight the emotional nature in the song and make it easier to connect with, and Clear delivered it well.

スターマイン by nero

From this point onwards, they're all new songs to me. Hmm...in Nero's case, I haven't heard that many songs from him, so I can't quite say much about that. If you asked me whether the vocals suited the song, then I would say yes. Nero's vocal profile is similar to Clear's, but a lot fuller, and he sounds a lot more mature as well. The song itself has a beautiful composition, and I think Nero did a good job, but it lacks the kind of satisfaction I get from listening to the other songs. I couldn't really connect to the song, and I found the fireworks in the middle distracting.

予感 by clear & nero

Haha, I couldn't help but think that this song was made for osanajimi. This song fully exploited the beautiful voice profiles from both Clear and Nero. Their voices compliment each other well, and the harmony is subtle but sublime. Clear's vocals came through more readily, but Nero's vocals added substance to the song, since if Clear sang this solo, I get the feeling that the whole song might just float off. The chorus is especially good, where their voices blend together. I would recommend this to osanajimi fans.

さようなら by あさまる

Asamaru's voice is rather unique in that it doesn't sound very melodic, nor does it have that breathy, sexy vibe, but it gives me the impression that this is exactly how I would imagine a Japanese singer's voice to sound like. I can't quite put it in words...but if I were to describe as a flavour, it would salty-sweet? With a voice like that, the song sounded more mature, more soulful. And it made the song sound very beautiful and full-bodied as well.

楽園 by じゃっく

Jack has a slightly shounen-going-on-to-seinen voice, with a very distinct resonant sound. When I listened to this, I get a very heartwarming feeling of being at peace, and I would say it is a highlight of this song. The bridge brings out Jack's clear and stable vocals, and as he sings the final chorus, you get a slightly sweet feeling, very much like reminiscence.

あやつりピエロと君の歌 by あさまる & じゃっく

It's a very interesting song, and having it sung by Asamack highlights the sweetness, accompanied by a touch of playful reminiscence and a dash of bittersweet nostalgia. Their voices are well-matched to the song, and their vocal profiles are different enough that it sounds like the two of them are singing a story to you. I really like this combination.

And well, that's what I think about this album. I would really recommend this album, since it has a good selection of songs, with a mix of upbeat, fastpaced songs and beautiful ballads. Nem is a really talented composer imho, and I hope that we'll see a continuation to the works he's producing.

3 Anggerik of MGS '03

2011-07-11T23:16:00.003+08:00

While I was taking in the laundry today, I saw that one of my homewear t-shirts had torn. It was my old Form 3 class tee.The blue hem at the bottom was coming off. As I held it up to inspect it, I looked at the prints on my t-shirt and realised that I had never properly looked at it for a long, long time.

My old class tee was black...with blue hems...and right across the chest, fashioned in the shape of a pulse on an EEG...was the name 3 Ang, MGS '03. Ah...so I've had this tee for 8 years now...so I thought. Then a sudden wave of nostalgia seeped in, as I saw, truly, for once, the kind of condition the tee was in.

8 years.....8 years from the time I owned this tee, and from then on, I've used it first as a class tee...then as an extra tee for PE...then something to wear out and finally...when I came to KL to study 5 years ago, I brought it with me... I meant for it to be homewear. The older, slightly more cynical part of me was thinking, "Ah, look, back then, they made t-shirts so well, they last you so long!" But as I turned to the back of my tee...I saw the design made by one of my classmates, and looked at the many names printed upon the back of the tee.

I realised the design has faded over the many years of wear...well, no surprise there...think about all the water and detergent and spin cycles it's been through. But what struck me most was that some of the names have faded...some more than others. I sat there for a few minutes just trying to read every single one of the names...Some names were printed more clearly (ironically, my names was as clear as ever, possibly due to its position near to the top middle, where I don't rest my back upon the wall) & some names had faded so much that I could barely make out the names.

Looking at the tee, I tried to match name to face...and the images came to my mind one by one, some clear and vivid...others murky and uncertain. My F3 year has been pretty memorable...and not one moment was spent without these classmates. I may not always think of them...and I may not always think of all of them equally, but these are the moments where I'm transported back to a time where the biggest problem we had to face was PMR. Things were plainer then, but they were simpler too. I wonder what they're all doing now? Are they working hard to achieve their goals? What are they working as now? Perhaps some of them might have even started a family...

Like that t-shirt, I may not remember all the details about them...like the t-shirt, the relationship between some of us may be more distant and faded than before. But like that t-shirt, we'll always have shared something in common, and the bonds we carry on our backs watch over us, as our hearts continue to beat as one pulse, united in our memories.

Workplace stuff

2011-07-07T11:19:00.003+08:00

This is perhaps one of the longest times I've been away from here...I can't decide whether that is a good thing or not. Time has proven to be the elusive master I had always known it to be, and work a straight-faced affair.

But it is without contempt that I say these things, because I've had a really good time at work. Sure, sometimes there are obstacles, and sure, sometimes things get more troublesome than they were meant to be, but overall, I've been enjoying what I'm doing. I credit this mainly to my colleagues.

'Tis an interesting bunch I hang out with, and I'd sooner call them friends than colleagues. I've taken up a lot of new hobbies because of these friends...things I never thought I would be interested in or start doing...but again, never say never, eh? Most of them are our seniors, ready to move on to the next stage of their lives and careers, and it saddens me somewhat that I only had a year to know them.

I've learnt a lot from them, whether it was through intentional teaching or whether it was by observation. Work aside, I think I'm glad to have met them...especially those two, who have shown me, in conversation, in action, in views, that to live is to experience, and that I should never have to be afraid of myself, that I should never have to let myself take the second place in my life. It's strange to see how my life has been affected by them in such a short time.

I'm a little sad that they'll be leaving soon...but happy for them that they're going to be off reaching their goals.

Life post XD

2010-03-21T00:32:00.002+08:00

Whee! Long time no update! What to do? Life has been so busy, just keeping up with schoolwork is taking most of my energy. So yeah, been crazy with college, but in the storm of assignments and studies and thesis, some good things have happened as well. Overall, still in one piece, physically and mentally. After the 'intensive' training we had from IO last sem, I think this sem is considerably easier. Hello, I had time to think I'm bored, so it's a definite improvement.

I've been given a job offer at by the college, which honestly, is more appealing to me than a bank job. But of course, salary is not comparable, living costs have to bear myself etc...but it's much more relevant to me than a job in a corporate, financial sector. And it gives me more opportunities to prepare for post-grad. So now, in the process of making one of those major life decisions!

Interest-wise, I've gotten addicted to Nico Nico Douga (because of a certain "NeonStall") which is like...the Youtube of Japan. Mainly, I got into a bunch on singers who sing mainly, but not only, Vocaloid songs, and upload them. I really applaud them, because their singing sound like pros, the mixers and the composers are somewhat geniur-level too. It amazes me...them Japanses ppl. Once again, you see my fascination with all things Japanese.

Speaking of which, a friend of mine got the opportunity to study in Japan and will be leaving soon. I had the chance to meet up with her and hung out together with a bunch of friends, and we were chattering away in Jap until one of our friends got annoyed coz she couldn't understand a word. But I'm glad for her. If I have the chance, I would wanna go to Japan too. Either to work...or maybe study. But it's a dream in the future.

Guess right now, my life isn't so bad. It's pretty enjoyable, and despite the crazy assignments I have, I'm trying to apprecate everything about undergrad life, because it's gonna end soon...

Education system going down the dumps

2010-02-06T13:54:00.002+08:00

I say this effing seriously.

The current education system is, I dare say, failing at a remarkable rate for a country which really has quite a lot of resources. Now, a new, hum...plan? policy? Never mind what they call it, the important thing is now they say they're coming out with something to 'kononnya' improve our education system.

I looked forward to it, really. I would love to see the education system and quality pick up. Then I saw the four imperatives' and I have to say, there are a fair few gaps in there. First of all, let's check out the imperatives, briefly, of course. Student success, hold schools accountable for student outcomes, or lack of, invest heavily in principals and heads, and develop top teachers.

Can you see the big hole here? What constitutes student success? Student outcomes? Does it mean more As? More graduates? The whole 'policy' hinges on these two terms, yet I can't find the definition in any articles so far. Depending on what they mean, it could make a miracle or mean a disaster.

Imagine that student success means producing more A-students (meaning purely academics). So now, under the new policy, it needs to be ensure that students become A-students. Schools who do not produce A-students will suffer the consequences. This may make the principal or head put more pressure (and blame) on the teachers and students for not performing, because they have been invested in heavily by the policy, and the decrepit performance will be on their heads (no pun intended). Then thte school may lose anything from resources and reputation, and it will become hard to attract and develop top teachers (Oh, and what do they mean by top teachers anyway?)

Now there's even curriculum for pre-schools! So now the nation is intent on turning us into a bunch of brain-riddled zombies who ingest nothing but academics. What happened to letting kids play? What happened to healthy development? Can you see me tearing my hair out by now?

And they're using some 'interesting' tactics to 'encourage' heads to ensure they run the schools well. Give them money if they perform, if they don't, well, too bad. Ugh, and they want to trigger the corporate culture in schools?? Agh, why!? It's a school, for goodness sake! Don't turn it into some funky enterpreneur manoveour! And they want to 'teach' students about integration of cultures, of different races and religions. They wanna do that? First, stop talking about races and religions, and students will get the point. They're not THAT stupid. And another thing? No point teaching them if the 'role models' are portraying all the opposite. So yeah, if you can get teachers to learn to accept and integrate the cultures, bravo, you're on the way to success. I speak honestly and from experience when I say I've seen teachers who are as biased (mainly racist, but I mean other prejudices as well) as they come, and really, students learn and reflect what they say and do. It happens. Deal with it.

And the best part? I haven't seen the term personal growth and development anywhere. Yep, looks like our education system won't change much. It used to be about grades...now it looks like it's going to be about grades too. And they wonder why our human capital is declining, students becoming more unruly and graduates not getting employed.

This is most amusing...

2010-01-26T21:44:00.002+08:00

The fact that I can still write in here with a fair coherence is proof that I have not gone nuts....yet. But I have made quite a few mistakes in my haste to type, contracted from all the speedy typing I did for my thesis proposal. Surely a sign of my fraying nerves... Just to soothe them, I have allowed myself to slip back into the indulgence of this semi-Reformation civility in conversations, which I so rarely use.

Indeed, speaking like this in any normal conversation will surely warrant unwanted suppositions about my nature (possibly high-strung) or even elicit comments most unfair (likely ridicule). Don't mind me in my hour of self-absorption, which I assure you, doesn not happen very often. But it is necessary, I believe, to retain that very fine balance between work-torn insanity and my current...hum..unusual state. After all, what is a student of the fragile mechanism we call the mind to do but impose some form of strange (and hardly useful) defense mechanism, just to illuminate her eccentricity? So do indulge this silly little conversation, and let me be quite strange.

Into a New Decade

2010-01-13T22:29:00.003+08:00

The new year has come and gone, and right now, I can't afford to think about much else but college. Once again, I'm attempting to drive myself nuts by taking 5 subjects, one of which is thesis, which, btw, is contributing 80%to my going nuts.

I'm still feeling the effects of the crazy last sem, a little burnt out, not really feeling like going back to college. But, with all good spirits, and great friends, I made a pretty good recovery. Now my mission to hunt for the correct subjects so I can get a good schedule, learn something useful and relevant, get (reasonably) good grades and hopefully, still be sane by the end of 4 months.

So far, thesis is slowly driving me up the wall as I realise what exactly I've set myself up by picking this design. The 2 cores look okay so far, with one experiment assignment in anticipation. And the remaining electives will be by the same lecturer, who, befitting all the rumours I've heard, is as long-winded as someone her age could be. On top of that, sitting in for possibly the toughest subject of the semester (Psychological testing), which I initially wanted to take, but was scared off by the high risk of a C or worse. So technically, 6 subjects. Overachiever syndrome.

But I digress. My Fairy Tail fever is at its pitch point, for reasons I cannot fathom. It's not like it's a new series I'm following, but for some weird, weird, reason, I'm all moe and kyaa over it. It's not a *pretty* anime...trust me, the characters don't look like they could all pass for girls. In fact, the girls are really pretty, some of the guys are really cool, in a non-feminine way (how often do you hear me say that?) and some character designs are downright WEIRD! But still, from the mangaka of Rave, I'm impressed and enamoured by Fairy Tail's endearing and humourous storyline.

Oh, my fav? Unsurprisingly, Natsu and Gray, but seriously, they're the 2 manliest characters which I've liked since, I don't know. But doesn't mean I don't ship them. Natsu and Gray are sooo together! Really, with these two, they're both reversible, which is always cool. I know how people like Natsu with Lucy, but I like Lucy with Loke. Seriously, those two are super cute together. And needless to say, Erza belongs with Gerard. Full stop. So yes, while I should be reading journals for my thesis, I'm rereading the Fairy Tail manga for maybe the 4th time, I lost count.

Exams are nuts

2009-12-10T12:31:00.002+08:00

Exams are tough...but having 5 papers, 3 of which are heavyweight subjects, are a little crazy even for me.

I must've been really nuts to go for 5 subjects, but hey, this is the price to pay if I wanna finish up on time. But I just found out that graduation happens only once a year in April, so technically, if I finish fast, I still have to wait for April to graduate. But then, I'll have time to go for my training, and still have spare time over for holidays and whatever else. XD

So for now, I'm just gonna work my ass off, somehow survive finals, then enjoy Christmas holidays.

Net is REVIVED!!!

2009-11-15T00:20:00.002+08:00

My internet connection has finally been reestablished! Ah...it's horrible for your net to be down in the peak season for assignments. But it's finally back on, so it's chop-chop, back to work! Will update later.

Working in Bukit Tinggi

2009-10-31T12:24:00.003+08:00

Ah, had a hectic time back up in on Bukit Tinggi helping out with training. But it was fun! Started off with my lecturer asking if I was interested in becoming a facilitator for a training job. I said sure and got some details from him. Turned out the company doing the training was his wife's. Training was supposed to be on Friday, but Christine wanted to leave on Thursday evening to check out the place. So, after asking leave of several lecturers for missing class...up we went to Bukit Tinggi.

Since I've been there several times, I didn't feel as nervous as I would have expected. I know the place we're staying at, and I know the place where training was to be held. At least I won't get lost, right? First thing we did was went up to Colmar, where the training hall was. Peggy and I had been put in charge of the treasure hunt, so we went around the village looking for good spots. After that it was work all the way.

Christine has high expectations from us, and we got a lot of feedback too. It was pretty corporate to me, with all our ideas being questioned for suitability and practicality. But we managed to work out the ideas somehow and spend the rest of the night working on the preps for the treasure hunt, and getting briefed about all the other activities we'll be doing. By the time Peggy and I went to sleep, the birds just woke up. It was what, 6.30 am? And we had to wake up at 7.15 too....

But it was all right...I've had my fair share of pulling close all-nighters and Peggy isn't weak on her knees either. We got the day started setting up the hall, and greeting the clients. Then it was a matter of just going through with our itenary...helping out where we were supposed to. There were 38 participants, so it wasn't too bad. Then it after the breaks and all, it was time for the treasure hunt set-up. Due to some miscommunication, we had to check out of the hotel on that day itself (don't ask me, I have no idea what went on) so while Peggy went with my lecturer to pack up, I was running around the place sticking clues.

When it finally started, I was nervous as hell, hoping things would go well. I had been appointed runner, meaning I had to run all over the place taking pictures of groups while solving puzzles, deciphering clues and at the same time, troubleshooting. I was literally running back and forth Colmar to see what's happening at the stations, snapping pictures of the groups and looked out for the lost teams. Quite a few of them misinterpreted clues and ended up in a completely differnt place, and some even ended up in the wrong stations and missing out certain vital pieces of the puzzle. It took all I had to give them hints without telling them the answer. I think, I spent about 7 hours on my feet, and 3 of those running. I must have ran around the length of the village at least 10 times.

When it was over, they went back for debriefing, we took of the stuff we stuck around town. The clients invited us to their dinner, but since we have no room to stay in, and it would probably end late, we declined and went straight to packing. They sent us home after dinner lol.

This being my first time being part of a training job, I think it was challenging since it was a different environment. The elements of event managament were there, so I wasn't out of place, but all the previous jobs I've done where either for charity or workshops. The agenda was normally decided beforehand and all I did was help out. In this case, it felt a lot more involving since we had to plan as well, which was challenging. But I learnt a lot from the experience and had a lot of fun doing this. Overall, it was a valuable experience. I hope next time, we can do this again with a bigger team.

Busy busy busy!

2009-10-28T22:05:00.002+08:00

Which explains why I haven't been updating. I think assignments can kill...

Been kept on the very tips of my toes by 302...thanks to that assignment, I've only had an average of 5 hours of sleep for 3 days. On top of that, had to prepare for 308 assessment. 309 needed planning, but that wasn't a bad as the others. I officially hate 110B. I find it utterly meaningless. Submit a resume and cover letter as assignment? Really a waste of time. They treat us as though we can't write resumes...if we ever wrote crappy ones, it wouldn't be because we don't know how to, but it's because we're too lazy to go and do it properly. The only thing that hasn't killed me yet is 215.

Then on top of the five subjects...there's the issue about thesis. Gotta do a lot more work to prepare for it. And then of course, the new personal project I'm launching is taking up some time to plan too. Ah well, life is best spent being productive I guess.

But really, this week has been back-to-back. Mon was only 3 hours of sleep...then it was lecture, meetings, PAL and more meetings all the way. My day ended well thanks to a certain person though. XD Then the next day was the same...PAL, assessment, dept promo work, meetings, and meetings...then today was again, similar...So much work that my brain doesn't seem to shut down. It's like...every minute I'm thinking about some work. I fall asleep thinking about what needs to be done the next day, and wake up thinking what I need to finish up that day. Brain is like...taxed to the max.

BUT! Today was finally finished with 302 assessment, so all's well that ends well. I think I can finally sleep properly now. I wanna dream of Gackt...or someone. XD

The other bday bash...

2009-10-05T23:54:00.002+08:00

Because I spent my 21st bday away from family, and because it was Midautumn's Day, and because my Chinese bday was the day right after Midautumn's Day...family decided to celebrate it all, nice and proper last weekend. Invited quite a few relatives. Tried to invite some friends too, but most are not in Ipoh...so too bad I guess.

In our extended, extended family, quite a few people were born in the 8th lunar month, so celebrated all of those together...we made something of a makan party, called caterer etc...got 3 cakes, my goodness, coz celebrating 7 people's birthdays in one shot. It was quite interesting, but I spent more time running around attending to other people lol. But it was really fun!

After the long and tired day, I finally got around to doing what I looked forward to the most...what else, opening presents la! I would think I'm a little old for presents, but the few that I got sure made me happy. I must admit the one that my mum and siblings got me really made me curious, coz the packaging looks soooo big! When I opened it, the box said Samsung LCD TV. Of course that's not what's inside...what use would I have of a tv screen. Turns out it was a brand new laptop backpack...Nike too! Love the design and colour! And of course, it was something I wanted, since my Converse bag was literally growing a beard with the long use. XD

Other relatives either gave angpau or some form of jewelry...one gave me a realy cute pair of earrings. When she first saw it, she said she really liked it coz it looked like Italina chandeliers to her (both sides are different). When she showed it to her husband, he started laughing and said it looked like some articles of clothing that only women wore. XD When I saw it, I immediately knew what he meant lol! Even though I can't wear earrings, I'll treasure it nicely! XD

The highlight was of course, dad's present. I opened it and I saw the word Nokia! I was like, "Oh!?" Then, my sis said, "Don't be fooled by the box!" While I was a little deflated, I opened the box proper...and lo and behold! It WAS a Nokia 5130 XpressMusic! The first thing I did was said OMG and jumped up lmao!

It was definitely one of the better birthdays all right...

21st Birthday

2009-09-27T01:55:00.004+08:00

Had a fairly interesting day today. Started off with the pest control coming to spray the house. So since it smells, decided to go out! Wanted to drop by TAF, but it was too early, so I followed housemates to Midvalley. Just walked around a bit, then headed off to Taylor's.

Hmmm....the event is a small-scaled event, with a number of competitions. When I arrived, I think they just finished the cosplay competition. Found my friend waiting for finalist list. Then just walked around looking at the goods and games going on. Nothing much really, but there was a singing competition. Met a few friends there...all of them asked me how come I didn't cosplay lol. Now, if only I have the time and money... Didn't buy anything since nothing caught my eye. Wished I brought a camera though...mine's lousy and broken -_-;; (Oh, my friend won 2nd place in the cosplay comp btw...)

Anyway, hung around until it was time to go to church...before that, I ate at this place called The Street Cafe. I was surprised to see it's Korean! Ordered deokbokki, but it was too spicy and hot so couldn't finish T_T. It tasted good though, and not expensive. Students get 20% discount! And even after I told them I'm not from around there! Must visit again..maybe bring friends next time. Haha, they were playing MVs from Big Bang, Suju and 2NE1. I was singing 'Fire' while eating that spicy deokbokki...how ironic.

Service with Ps Joakim was amazing! He barely preached, instead, he shared many personal stories and testimonies of the young people of Sweden, and how they brought revival to their schools and unis. I was so touched and inspired by their stories. During altar call, the presence of God was surely strong and moving the hearts of the congregation! I pray too that the person in my mind is able to be saved soon.

After service, went to Sushi Zanmai for dinner. Whee~~ XD For a Jap foodie like me, there's no better choice for dinner! 18 of us went! The staff at Zanmai couldn't find enough places for us lol! Food was great, of course. But nothing beats being in the company of friends to celebrate your 21st, yeah? Oh, and it was advance for Samuel. I was just surprised so many went! Even saw some college friends who came for service. Had a nice chat with them too.

Anyway, I had a blast! And coming home to check my FB, I had another surprise of seeing many birthday wishes. Felt really loved and blessed. Thank you Lord for the people around me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go put up the Jae wallie Jas just made. XD

After the Raya

2009-09-24T21:40:00.003+08:00

Hooo dear....

I'm feeling the workload. What with having several meetings in a week, on top of a crazy amount of reading needed. But at least I got to spend a good weekend with my family. They came up for the Raya holidays...which translates to spending time out with them, which equals to less time for assignments, but yeah.

Didn't do anything special...but we went to my uncle's place. And there was a PS2 there!!! I was so happy T_T Just spend the whole day glued to the machine...playing ToA and Star Ocean...finally! The feel of having a controller in your hand and the sight of Fayt going in to bash the enemies with those very familiar skills....sure missed the feel of it. I saw Albel-sama too~~ *dies a happy fangirl*

But now it's back to work....with multiple things to do and loads of stuff to read. Hopefully, by the time the year is out, I'm still alive and well lol.

Gamers, go watch Gamer

2009-09-18T23:07:00.004+08:00

SERIOUSLY.

**SPOILER ALERT**
In the future, gaming has revolutionized into a form of virtual reality in reality. Developed by a man named Ken Castle, it started off with a life-simulation game called Society. It pretty much mirrors Second Life and the Sims. Here, a player can control another human being, much like how we control Sims, using them to interact and do whatever in Society...and I really do mean whatever. There are also people who 'work' in Society, people who get paid for being controlled.

A new game, featuring this same model of control, called 'Slayers' was then developed. In Slayers, players control real-life convicts, all who have a death sentence on their heads. I haven't played any war games before, but Slayers is your typical shoot-and-survive game. Convicts are given the chance to go free...if they can survive 30 sessions. And in Slayers, the man closest to being the first to reach that is Kable (real name Tillman). A big part of the movie shows him running around, blowing the brains out of other players in the game, but there's a hint of conspiracy and rebellion through it. On top of it, he's got a wife who is a controlled character in Society and a daughter adopted by someone else. Tillman escapes the system and exacts revenge....or justice, however you wanna see it.

**SPOILER ALERT END**

At first glance, Gamer might look like your run-of-the-mill action movie, complete with fast-paced gun action and pretty gross carnage. It looks brainless, but there is an underlined issue of gaming violence and what it does to people. If you're a psych student like me, you know desensitization and dehumanization.

You can watch it for the bloody galore of it all, but you can also think of the implications the movie has about media violence. Gamer gives us a look at how it's like for the person playing the convict and the convict playing the game. For Tillman, the pain, deaths and violence are very, very real. He carries a psychological burden of having to go into the battlefield...not knowing how many people he would have to kill, not knowing when he would be killed. Yet, his player (a 17-year-old rich brat, Simon) treated the game exactly as it was...a game.

The truth is, no one cared who dies in the game. Blood, gore, violence....the adrenaline rush, that's what drives the population wild every time they watch a live session of Slayers. And to them, Kable is like a shipped hero of that game. So real people died on the other side of the screen...so what, they were criminals waiting to die anyway. That's what's being portrayed in the movie...and it reminds me how human beings remain the cruellest creatures on earth.

Gamer is not a movie for you if you can't stand seeing body parts flying off, or blood spattered all over the place. It's also not for you if you have issues with sexual scenes, since a few players of Society look like their sole purpose in the game is to order their avvies (for the lack of better words) to get laid and watch. Granted, they never did get there, but personally, I found the controller of Tillman's wife really gross.

That aside, it makes for a pretty thoughtful watch...for an action movie anyway.

Pleasant surprise??

2009-09-17T18:59:00.001+08:00

I is shocked...but not unpleasantly. XD Nuff said.

Start of new sem

2009-09-08T00:51:00.002+08:00

It's just the starting of the sem, but I can see the work piling ahead already. And I decided to be crazy and took 5 subs on top of it. Don't know whether I'm nuts or what, but there's no choice but to do it! Ganbaru! ><

And Karyn's leg isn't getting better...a bit worried about that too. Poor girl's getting depressed just from being so cooped up...but I can sympthasize....since I hate being cooped up with nothing to do either. On another note, Ai Rene's persuasion has finally paid off...and I got back on LJ.

As an aside, just came off PAL today. Met an absolutely interesting tutee....the dude said studying is pointless proudly. But looking at the way he conducted himself...and the way he talked, it looks like he has an interesting character. Talked to him a bit...wondered if I got through... Oh well, he's not exactly under me, but I'm interested in checking out his development. I hope his tutor can handle him...he's a bit tricky to read. And I walked 2 Law freshies back to Main block today, LOL. It's been a good day.

Short update

2009-08-13T20:59:00.002+08:00

Yeah yeah...I know...I can hear the "You haven't been updating vibes" coming from several directions. Haha, I know it's been a trend. The moment I go back home, I'll MIA for as long as it takes for the holiday to be over.

Anyhow, been cutting down on the drive-outs due to the H1N1 threat. Watched GI Joe, and wanting to watch it again, but yeah...now the advice is don't go to places with big crowds so yeah...no movies for a while.

No plans as of yet, so I've been checking out the K-entertainment world...hearing about how JaeChunSu filing the lawsuit makes me feel a little sad. It's true that Korea is perhaps one of the few rare countries which have artistes bonded with long contracts. In Japan, most artistes have to renew their contracts often, but that's because they're not that many companies but lots of artistes. It's really sad for the boys...having to work hard always, and yet not being able to have a breather. These "slave contracts" are really tough deals. And to think that it's one of the biggest groups in Asia to make us aware of these contracts.... I know it's a business for these talent management companies, but really...unlike products, these idols are people. They have needs of their own too. It's not like you can just squeeze all the profit you can out of them while they can still wring out the juices. I think it's big time the K-entertainment industry see some changes in the way they can make better contracts which can benefit both parties.

Idle life...

2009-07-28T13:08:00.002+08:00

Meh....should I say I have no life, or this is my way of life?

Nah...this is typical Ipoh life.

Lazing around. Since I haven't picked myself up to send my beloved PS2 to repairs (coz the dude said he can't tell what's wrong...need a week to diagnose and maybe a week to fix. On top of that, dunno if it's worth fixing.) I've been told it's better to just get a new one, but my mum is saying that if repairs cost half the price of a new machine, we should just fix it. So yeah...she had to say that after I called her and she said to come back from the shop. It's not exactly within my neighbourhood okay?

So, no PS2. What's a bored girl to do? Well, thank goodness for the PS1 emulator. Replaying Tactics and Legend of Dragoon on the desktop now. And by the sound of it, Sam has good news and will come home bearing a great treasure (in the form of FF9) next week. Finally...after goodness knows how many months of downloading. I don't care what other gamers say, FF9 beats FF8 any time of the day for me. So, yesh, that's one thing to look forward to.

I suspect with all these gaming and of course, feasting on lovely food, I probably grew more portly than I'd like to imagine, but hmm...maybe not too. I have a screwed sense of telling size, so yeah, whatever.

Yup...this is the typical Ipoh life. More or less, equivalent to that of a mild case of couch potato and gourmet traveller rolled in one. Now, if you'll excuse me...I'm off to hunt for another book to reread.

PS: I want to go for HP 2nd round...and I'm waiting for GI Joe...

Swell week...

2009-07-15T12:10:00.002+08:00

I just came back for less than a week and it's been so "happening"...haih...

Shortly after I arrived home, there was a blackout in my area. Apparently it's been happening pretty often lately. I think the electricity was out for maybe about almost 2 hours?

Then the stray cat we've been feeding (who got pregnant) gave birth behind my house. Technically, inside the compound...and left the kitten there, umbilical cord and all. We were literally running around the house wondering what to do with the kitten, till my mum had the sense to call Luffy's vet and asked him for advice. Turns out that if the kitten was meowing loudly and scrabbling around (which it did) it's probably healthy. So yeah, one sigh of relief. But we have to help it cut the umbilical cord...*gulps*

It was...mystifying, if anything. I wouldn't say I was totally disgusted, but it wasn't the kind of experience you wanna go through again. So I put on the only pair of surgical gloves we have left and struggled with the kitten, trying to get a hold of the cord. It's so feisty, I thought, "Ah, this one is going to live for sure!" So yeah, got a hold of the umbilical cord...obviously, with my hands full of kitten and cord, I didn't do the cutting. My sister grabbed a pair of scissors (which we disposed of later) and cut away...

Done and away with all that, we tried to feed it with some pet formula milk. Future note...straws are lousy, get a dropper. Anyhoo...my mum said if the cat doesn't turn up, I'm gonna have to care for the kitten. Cute as it is, I'm not sure I'm so keen about feeding it and helping it poop. But thankfully, its mum turned up a couple of hours later and carried it off. I think it gave birth to a few more. So there we were, cheering for the reunion, when my sister said, "Ah, we should have taken photos." But yeah..

Then I found out my PS2 is out of commission. AV wouldn't display...argh!! I've checked it through, and it's nothing to do with the TV, nothing to do with the AV cable, which leaves the machine itself...*beep*! My brother's theory was that it short-circuited during the blackout. Which kinda makes sense. So now I'm on a long holiday with no PS...great...

But all is not lost. My sister has somehow gotten hold of FF7, PS1 version. Although, regrettably, my grandfather broke my PS1 when he played with it the last time he came back, Sam downloaded the emulator. So right now, I'm hijacking the desktop until my PS2 gets ported off to repair...or doom be spelled when it's too old to fix. I just got my hands on Abyss and Star Ocean, so I don't care how, but I'm gonna play it.

Time to kick some Shinra ass, so if you please, I'll be off.

Off!

2009-07-09T19:53:00.002+08:00

Haa....finally I can breathe a sigh of relief and say "It's finally over!"

Yep, finals are finally over...and we're officially going to be year 3 students next sem. But right how I have some very mixed feelings about that last day. It kinda sucks when you're taking an extra paper, especially if your friends finished early. It's like...missing out on a celebration, yeah? To be honest, after I did my last and final paper, most of friends have already gone off to celebrate their merdeka lol, Just a bit, for a very short moment, I felt a little lonely. But it wasn't all bad. At least, I got to watch Transformers and eat dinner with my aunt.

Then the next thing...I just found out that there's another subject that we have to take, albeit it;s offered free. That's throwing everything off balance...coz this means to finish in a year, I'll have to do my year 5-5-3...which is crazy. I'm not saying it's impossible, but seriously, five subjects in a sem? And for 2 sems in a row? On top of that, I have to think about my thesis too! I'm not exactly keen on killing myself, so this calls for replanning. But of course, this means I have to talk to all parties who are sponsoring my education, haih...

Guess I shouldn't worry about it. I think I'm a little down coz I'm missing family very very much right now. Just till Sat, and I'll be truly home free. Going to get some quick fix comfort *runs off to spazz about Jae*

Rant

2009-07-05T22:01:00.002+08:00

I. Should. Be. Studying!

What the heck, man....can't concentrate at all. Just got back from Ipoh on a late evening bus...in all honesty, I don't like travelling by bus at night. Coz I'll have to take the bloody taxi and everything...bleh ><

Anyhow, I'm trying hard to read up, but much of it seems to be flowing out from some hidden crack somewhere...info is leaking out like nobody's business. And it doesn't help that I'm kinda high from watching a whole load of 2PM's 'Niga Mibda' (I Hate You) lives on Youtube. Plus, I'm already thinking about what to do on my holidays....I'm totally not in the exam mood -_-

Gah...

2009-07-04T01:22:00.002+08:00

Bleh...not concentrating at all. At this rate, I'm pretty much screwed up for finals....

Wanna drown in songs and dreams and not bother about the 20+ chapters I need to read through.

By the way, had a weird dream last night. Think "Alien" meet "Resident Evil". Dreamt I was stuck in a school-like place (actually, more like a house with a bunch of students in there)...was supposed to be there to talk with the lady in charge. I assumed she was the head? Anyway...while I was there we had to be attacked by a bunch of weird creatures who kinda reminded me of those dog-faced, tentacle aliens from "Aliens". Witnessed one of it tear into the throat of someone outside the building, then immediately an alien burst out of the wound (Yeah, I think I watched too much TV lately...)

Then we were trying to find a way to first, protect ourselves and bar the creatures from coming into the building and then, it became an attempt to escape. It was kinda freaky...it's like living through Resident Evil, coz these aliens can disguise as human beings (har har...) Even if it's just a dream, I really felt the fear and the desire to survive. So the lady principal, one of the older male students and myself tried to find a way to escape. But of course, in 'plots' like these, the aliens end up closing in, and at the very last minute, when we thought we found a way to escape, the male student turned on us...

Turned out he was...infected already. And we're pretty much screwed. Nowhere to run, and hell, no place to hide. So what happens? Well, if you can't beat them, join them...so people say. That's what happens next anyway...

Random...stuff...

2009-06-25T02:46:00.002+08:00

Aah....it's 2.47a.m. right now, and I'm just staring blankly at my laptop... I really should sleep. My eyelids are dropping slowly, but I can't sleep yet...I get the feeling I haven't done something yet. Today was really tired for some reason. Was it because I haven't been getting enough sleep? Was it because I have a lot on my mind?

Today was last lecture for a subject that has been endeared to us just by the sole existence of the lecturer. Ah, I'm now thinking, "So there really are times when you go for classes just for the sake of the lecturer." I'm that kind of student. But then again, I don't like skipping classes so I'm not the best person to comment about this. Oh, there was that Indian wedding. Interestting, but too long for a person like me, who can't really sit still. It's really something though...

Jae baby, I'm having a fit laughing at your funky antics in them variety shows...I sometimes wish you weren't that charming. Oh wait...I sometimes wish I'm not so infatuated and fangirly over you. But really, as a person, you really uphold some value to me, and I find that really admirable and attractive.

Ah, I think at times I just want to be like some other people. Then maybe I wouldn't have such misgivings about myself? But the thing is I am who I am, and I will always be, and want to be, who I am. I'm fully capable of acting in a different way, and I wonder if people think I'm strange? Despite showing most of myself to certain people, I'm surprised that they don't seem to know me well. Ah, have you never thought I would act in a certain way? Did you think that based on my outer appearance? Strange, how the more you try to portray yourself fully, the less people can see who you are. Or maybe they don't find the need to? Or am I unconsciously burying parts of myself...you know, hide it from everyone. Strange, but I guess it's human.

I know...I'm just randomly blabbing out stuff right now...I think it's the fact that it's 3a.m. now. Maybe I should go to sleep after this...

Individualistic vs. Collectivitistic?

2009-06-11T12:50:00.003+08:00

Was listening to Hannah's "Making the Difference" when I was struck by a little thought.

We're always talking about individualistic and collectivistic cultures, and as Asians (or more precisely, Malaysians) we're proud of the fact that we're from a culture that cares and shares. We perceive problems from the so called Western-aka-individualistic culture as stemming from the fact that they always think of the individual first.

But is it really so bad to be a little individualistic? Not that I'm trying to be negative, but I think any human being would think of their own well-being first. It seems to be a built-in mechanism, but I'm not saying it's a bad thing. If you can't take care of yourself, how can you take care of others? The individualists have an amazing ability to advance themselves, because they're always concerned about how they do, how they can be better, how to improve....and I think that level of assertiveness and self-determination can become very useful.

Being a collectivist means we want to make sure our community gets the best, even if it means sacrificing our own needs. Again, it's not bad at all; in fact, it's a wonderful trait. But being a collectivist also means not standing out...to be another brick in the wall. It also means not being willing to stand up against those whom we call authority, who so-called "guards" our community's needs. However, being a collectivist also means we can accept that there are always extenuating circumstances for other people's intentions...meaning we are far more willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt, while an individualist would be quick to say that the entire responsibility rests with the person.

Right now, the world is at a stage where having the assertiveness of an individualist becomes an advantage. It sells, you see, and assertiveness helps someone avoid getting stepped all over. But at the same time, people are recognising the importance of caring for the needs of others. They are acknowledging the value of building close, supportive relationships and deferring to catering to the needs of someone other than themselves.

After all, the human being has some very unique needs. We need to belong to a group, and we are willing to work to care for the needs of our groups. We want to exemplify ourselves as a member of such a group and therefore, conform to the values and beliefs, which essentially means branding a sort of label on ourselves. But at the same time, we want to be recognised as being different. We want to stand out as having a personality of our own, of being uniquely ourselves in such a way there's not another person like our own self in the world. In essence, we are seeking a balance between being similar and being different. And such a cry is rising in many cultures, as people strive to find the right balance.

So be an individualist with a collectivist's heart, or a collectivist with an individualist's spirit!

Why do we like doing these silly quizzes so much?

2009-06-10T18:57:00.004+08:00

Got this quiz thingy from Jas' blog, and the results are the same as hers.

"You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high."

Given my nature, I would expect this to be partly true. I really am sort of conservative about romantic relationships. Having grown up in a girls' school, I'm no stranger to witnessing flings, crushes and puppy love. I have friends who changed boyfriends so frequently I doubt they were in love in the first place. Really, I don't think I can date someone just for the sake of dating.

Maybe that's why I choose to remain...invisible on the radar, to borrow a friend's words. I'm the type that'll fall right in when I'm in a relationship, so in a way, I guess I'm really serious about it. Some people say it's a killjoy and that it's not realistic, that it's just dating, not choosing a life partner. Oh, really now? Maybe it's my beliefs, or my experience that makes me feel this way, but there's no point rushing, you know...I'll be lying if I say I don't want to be romantically involved, but I don't want to get hurt either. It's not like there's any guy after me, after all (Really, sometimes you wonder if guys ever look past appearances...) so I'm not rushing.

So, yeah, I'm unrealistic. Maybe that's why I daydream about Jae. XD He's unreachable, yes, but that's precisely why it's safe, coz I know it's not something possible. Hey, a girl can dream right? XD

Updatezzzz...

2009-06-09T21:38:00.002+08:00

Because someone said I never update my blog....here I am, lol. I know, really lame reason to update, but really, my life isn't so exciting that there's anything I wanna say.

Basically it's been nothing but study nowadays. That worries me, because it's a sign that I have no life, hahaha... But some interesting things have happened over the weekend. We'll start with the boring one. I'll be leading a team in organising an educational game exhibition under the department. When I say team, I mean 5 of us, but hey...everything starts small yeah? Looking at the expectations a good sir is having, I know I'm in for a lot of work. But I'm glad, coz it's a real opportunity to expand my horizon. Like my dear friend said, be an opportunist!

Done with the drab and on with the drama. My sister gave all of us a mighty shock when she became unreachable for a day. My parents have been trying to contact her, and she didn't reply any of the messages nor answered any calls. That was in the morning. Towards the evening, my brother and I started calling and indeed, she wasn't picking up! My parents were up in KL for an event, and by the time it has ended, it was 10+ at night and still no replies. *cue imminent panic*

In a fervent effort to reach her, I called up a friend in Ipoh to ask her to check online. Lo and behold, she wasn't online!! FYI, my sister is always online, unless she is physically parted from her darling laptop. And so mayhem ensued, eliciting (in my case) calls to friends, vague acquaintances, even total strangers, (in my mum's case) friends with kids studying at Kampar, friends who lived somewhere near Kampar while my brother tried time and time again to call her phone. It wasn't that the call didn't get through, but she wasn't picking up. At that point, any well-meaning mum will start imagining things, and really...it's not pleasant. It was a public holiday the next day, so many of her friends had gone back to their hometowns. My mum was contemplating driving back to Kampar to check on her, and my dad was so distracted he ran a red light and got the police on our tail (no, seriously).

At last, upon reaching my place (it was already 12+, btw) mum's friend has managed to get hold of someone who can help us go check on my sister. Only thing is, he lives 30 mins away, and the relationship between that friend and this person is....not at its best. And so, the person drove there, arrived at my sister's place and called for her. And guess what? My genius sister was at home! Turned out she forgot to turn the silent mode off, and her phone does not vibrate when silent. On top of lousy connections and the fact the phone was on the floor, she was playing online games and so did not go online on MSN or whatever.

.............What could I say? We were mighty relieved, but we were royally pissed too. She probably took several years off our lives (God forbid), had half the Ipoh and Kampar population wondering and worrying for her, and probably a quarter of KL too. No surprise, of course, the moment she got online, we bombarded her. Well, I think it's partly her fault, and partly her phone's fault. It needs to retire soon. But she was sorry, so I guess one has to just accept that....sisters after all.

Well, that's all for updates. Maybe I'll come again soon, if anything interesting happens.

PS: To the someone who wonders why I don't update, I did, just not on this blog.

Inspirational

2009-05-27T01:07:00.001+08:00

A mistake is only a mistake if you make it twice.

:)

Bleh...

2009-05-24T00:04:00.003+08:00

Sleepy....

Tired....

Bleh, it's midnight and I'm reading *beep* journals....

But at least, earlier just now I went for Ps Kong's service...it was great! Great, funny, sometimes right in your face, but the message never fails to be heartmoving and inspiring. I think I laughed my way through the service, but I still left the hall with his words ringing in my head.

So I guess this was a case of humour successfully retaining memory. But seriously, there's a lot of talk about relationships nowadays. And what with just having attended my godbrother's wedding the other day, I don't really wanna talk about the relatives la...

Haih...to all the many questions asked...here's what I have to say. It's not as easy as whether I want to or not, but if I don't know what I want, then what do you want me to do? It's not really in my hands!

><

Sleeeeeeppppyyyyy....

Tiireeeeeeeeedddddd....

Dinner~~

2009-05-19T19:22:00.002+08:00

I'm hunggggggrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy....and here's dinner~~

ふりかけチャーハンで~す!

Haha, it's the furikake that I got from sensei~~

Since I only have white rice and eggs...decided to make fried rice topped with the furikake. It looks nice. So without further ado...itadakima~~su!

Serial killer dreams??

2009-04-21T12:48:00.003+08:00

Gah...too much brain activity lately. I keep having serial killer dreams lately. Gosh, one of them even features a 7-8 year old kid as an organised serial killer who committed suicide in the end. What the...I blame all the studying, and I'm not even taking PSY308. -_-;;;

On the contrary, I've been having some pretty pleasant dreams too, normally in succession with those serial killer dreams (shows you what sort of rubbish I put in my brain). Ah well, I guess it's interesting to note.

LOLness

2009-04-18T11:23:00.002+08:00

OH MEH HOLY COW!!!

This is evidence that I've been obsessing over 2PM and Jaebum too much lately:

I dreamt about meeting Jaebum in person!!! >< *dies from hyperventilating* But I think I've been reading too many fan accounts, coz the dream me went and asked for theirs autographs lol! Now I wished I could have lucid dreams, but hey, at least I got to see Jay. XD

Yes, looks like I'm going nuts.

2PM - Hottest Time of the Day

2009-04-13T18:29:00.004+08:00

Haha, in my last post I talked a little about a new Korean group. I know, I know...I just had a new band to craze over not so long ago. I haven't forgotten SID...they had released a new single, 『嘘』 (Lies), but since they're having their Spring Tour now, there isn't much news about them so far...

People, call me fickle if you will, but check out this group!

This is 2PM, and the pic from their debut single cover "Hottest Time of the Day". Guess I'll talk about the members before I go into their music. From the left of the pic, Junsu (yeah, exact same spelling as DBSK's Junsu) who's touted as the member with the greatest vocal ability, Chansung, the youngest member (reminds me of Changminnie with his height and huge appetite, lol), Wooyoung, joker of the group with great dancing ability. Center is my personal fav, leader Jaebum (who's actually born and raised in the US), one of the most talented dancers in this group with lotsa b-boy experience. Next up, Thai prince Nickhun (American-Thai-Chinese), the 'face' of 2PM, as he introduces the existence of 2PM through the variety shows he's involved in, Taecyeon, standing at 185cm, hails from Boston, and of course, Junho, who really resembles Rain, but don't brush him off just coz he looks like him. His dancing ability is superb!

There are 6 tracks in their single, with their title song being "10점 만점에 10점" (10 points out of 10). Those who like songs with great rhythm and strong beats, something you can dance to, this song ain't shabby. Personally, when I first heard it, it wasn't quite my taste, but it's really catchy after a while. In fact, the best way to listen to this is to check out the MV or the lives. The dancing is too great to be missed. The single comes with an old school version and an instrumental version of this song.

The next song is a sweet ballad with an underlying tone of hip hop in it, and this is the song where I can really hear the vocal quality of the members. Since my first impression was "They sure can dance, but I can't hear nuts from the singing", I was really surprised by how stable their vocals were in "Only You". The lives were pretty good too. The next song, "Angel" is my favourite by far. With strong hip hop beats, it's the kind of song that makes you get onto your feet and dance, whether you know how to or not.

LOL, it looks as though I just wrote a promo piece on their single or something. But hey, a cool group is a cool group, and they look like they'll go far. Actually, 2PM has a brother band called 2AM, together, they're called OneDay. But unlike 2PM, who specialises in upbeat dance songs, 2AM is a ballad group. Maybe I'll talk about them in the next post. Till then, ciaoz!

Not feeling well...

2009-03-27T18:52:00.005+08:00

Feeling really bleh lately...body doesn't seem to be keeping up with the amount of work I'm doing. My sleeping hours have been shifted to like...2, 3 a.m. even though I normally have class early the next day. My circadian rhythm is all screwed up right now. I'm surviving all the lost hours on pure will, stress and lots and lots of sugar. No wonder my body is feeling out of shape.

T_T Wish I could just drop whatever I have and just sleep and chill out, but I've got way too much to do...and I've come this far. I just need to survive for another 3 weeks. >< Hang on there, girl! After that, you can take your rest!

By the way, thanks to KM for showing me an interesting video, I've been checking out a Korean group called 2PM lately. Personally, the music is...not quite my kind? Well, it'll be more accurate to say that I think there's definitely room for improvement in terms of singing. But I really love their dances! They're definitely a group with huge dancing talent, and there's a characteristic acrobatics touch to their choreography.

The other Korean groups (like DBSK or Shinee) I'm into typically dance well too, but if I were to pick whether I prefer their vocals or their moves...I'd say their vocals. But 2PM has a very strong element of dance. Every member has a unique style and all of them can groove really well. It's also the first non-SM group I've come to notice. Looking forward to their growth as a group!

New discovery!

2009-03-01T11:54:00.005+08:00

Hahaha, it's finally that time again. The time I discover a new artiste I like and start fangirling like crazy. Righto, the music highlight of the month is this band:

Jrock band シド (SID)!!

From the left: Yuuya (Dr), Shinji (Gt), Mao (Vo) and Aki (Bass Gt). Guess my fav? XD

Haha, have been reeeaallly into them lately. Started off listening to Black Butler's OP, Monochrome Kiss...was really attracted to the style, so I checked out other songs by SID. Being relatively young in the scene of Jrock, I'm surprised they have settled on their own music style already. Started off as a Visual Kei rock band, they've dropped the image since 2006, so now they're going major. SID's music tend to lean to rock, but with some jazz infusions, so I find it refreshing.

Of course, Mao's vocals won me over with his somewhat 'light' voice. It's quite a big contrast from all the 'heavy' and breathy vocals I normally hear from Jrock. Likes of Gackt, Nightmare and even Larc tend to have really deep, heavy vocals...in a way, I guess their voice is the 'rough' type. Mao's vocals lean towards a lighter, somewhat smoother feel. His powerful vocals can carry off the genre they play, and he can still sing light-hearted songs with a pop-like feel. (LOL, ok, I admit it. I'm pimping 'em)

Of course, it'd be weird to talk about SID's vocalist. The other band members are great too. Aki and Shinji play really well, and a distinct feature in their music seem to be the guitar riffs. And Yuuya...well, he's one crazy dude, but he does the drums real cool. For all the music they've done so far, Mao writes the lyrics and Aki does most of the compositions...Shinji does some of it, sometimes. Of course, the one thing that really set them apart in my eyes is that they really can perform live well! That's like, a super important aspect I like to look at, and it's really interesting coz Mao sounds as he does in the records, which I think is really good. Many artistes sound good on the records, but they can't deliver in the lives...but SID carries it off well.

Haha, end of pimping session. XD But seriously, if you have a taste for Jrock, but find the music in the scene a little too much for you, I suggest giving SID a try. The songs they have are quite diverse, from the usual heavy Jrock fanfare to mellow ballads. Some recommendations: 涙の温度 (Namida no Ondo) and 夏恋 (Natsukoi).

-

2009-02-24T17:06:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry, guys...sorry...sorry....

Interesting V-day...

2009-02-15T20:59:00.003+08:00

V-day...the day where people (esp guys) open up their wallets and drain their life savings on goodness-knows-what in the name of love. Isn't if overrated, how we choose this one day to show our affection for loved ones by being extravagant? I mean, we can show affection in many ways, and certainly not just on this one day. But no, I told myself not to be judgemental. Those who have those significant others to spend it with, I'm sure you enjoyed each other's company. Those who are like me would probably have either spent the day enjoying one's own company, or went out with your friends ala singles' night out.

But alas! My plan of having a fairly uneventful V-day was disrupted by a fairly bizarre and shocking incident! I was much disoriented after that...but being me, decided not to let it bother me...till after my evening out anyway. Service was funny, actually, since Ps made some really hillarious allusions to us female species, and gave advice to the guys that they all paid close attention to while the girls laughed knowingly. After that, it was 'makan' time, then I headed home...my plans for the night drawing to an end. Of course, there was that issue to deal with still...but some advice and sleep sorted it, and it has been taken care of since.

What about you? Anything interesting?

PS: I really kinda wish I had a camera phone...or a decent camera with me nowadays. It's when you hang out with your friends like this that you wanna take a snap and realise that, "Drats! No camera!"

PPS: I soooo want to play Dissidia Final Fantasy. Now I wanna get a PSP just to play this game, dang it! It's literally a fangirl's dream come true, to see your fav FF characters ditch it out cross-universe. Personally, the fact that I can finally see Zidane and Kuja rendered in 3D reminiscent of Advent Children is icing on the cake. If you haven't seen the intro video, I recommend you Youtube it...the visuals are breathlessly beautiful.

Some DFF wallies; top one is the hero wallie, bottom villians.

Gah...

2009-02-14T12:19:00.002+08:00

Oh dear Lord, are you playing a trick on me? Of all days, today too! >< What am I to make of this weird turn of events?

And So, 2009 is Here...

2009-01-02T11:24:00.002+08:00

Time flies by so quickly. As one reflects on the year, it becomes clear that there are things one wished one has done, and silly mistakes one wished one has not committed. Yet, as time flows without stopping....forward, unto the shapeless future ahead, there is nothing but reflection, for no change can be brought unto a decision that has already been executed.

Precisely because of the fact that we can't change the past, we need to reflect. It has been a quiet transition into the new year...quietly slipping as the seconds dripped by, and without really realising, nor really caring, 2008 came to an end, and 2009 begins. It has become less imminent, the sense of time...at least, for now it matters not to me what time of the day or what day of the week it is. But soon, I shall have to return to the world where time moves at a pace where things flash by, a world where time is a commidity, scarce as it is.

Life moved sluggishly for me this past week, yet the time disappears quickly without my realisation. As 2008 came to a close, the year...long, inconsistent, full of events...yet strangely with not much memory of it. Strange, the concept of time is such that one year is not long, yet it seems to me so far away that I wonder if it was not a few years ago... Stranger still my inability to remember most part of the year...or perhaps, life was not of such significance till now...at least, not it my memory.

The new year has come, signalling the advent of a decade. And as I prepare to fall back into life as a student, I wonder....how will I be changed by this year?

Here, There, Everywhere

2008-12-24T19:28:00.002+08:00

This holiday has been marked by mum's trademark sense of adventure, which means I've spent my holidays so far by travelling up and down the place. Starting off from the final day of exam, family came down to help me move house. Love my new place, really. It's a great environment. Then promptly the next day after finals, we head down south to Malacca. Spent the day walking through Stadhius (or was it spelt with a 'Y'? I can't remember...) museum. It was pretty interesting, actually. Then walked around the Dataran Pahlawan mall...never been there before, I think it's a new mall. Of course, what is a trip to Malacca if we don't take a walk down Jonker street? So we did at night.

Next day, we head back to KL round the evening. And of course, mum engaged in her favourite activity, which was shopping...in the Curve. She was even shopping for CNY clothes...-_-;; Come a new day, it was off to Bukit Tinggi! Well, well, this was different from the previous trip we had. Since we went to Colmar the last time, this time we headed off for some activities, first of which was archery. It was a lot of fun learning to shoot arrows, and I dare say I'm quite inclined to the sport (Hey, I hit the centre area, okay? *gets whacked for bragging*) Next we went bowling, at the same complex. My brother was sure having fun. My hand was already aching when we finished the first game, so I opted to just watched as my younger siblings rolled off the second round. Then we went swimming. It was freaking cold there, goodness...and I hadn't gone swimming since I don't know when! By the time I got out of the pool, my joints were hurting and my limbs were pretty sore.

Then, the next day, after we came down the hill, it was off to Midvalley for another bout of shopping....it's only the first week, but I'm already struggling to keep up with my mum. But we survived it...somehow. The weekend came and we were to go to grandma's place. Sunday was also fast coming, and I was praying for the bursary. Since Sam wanted to go to CF this year, and the two younger ones wanted to stay at grandma's (for the Wii of course...), this meant that mum and I walked the new wing of Pyramid, shopping again. I think I must have walked more miles in those few days than the entire month put together.

Then news came...I've got the bursary, so it was off to church on Sunday, but we have to rush because grandma wanted to have the new year lunch (I don't know what you call it in English...we eat the 'tang yuen' on that day) Then it was back to Ipoh....

Finally, back home after who knew how long...home is still the most relaxing place to be, filling me with a kind of nostalgia that makes me walk into every room in the house, just soaking up the atmosphere of home...to just laze around with a book on the sofa, to play the PS2 till someone complains that it's their turn, to watch TV on the bed....guess I miss home more than I realised.

Of course, given mum's nature, we won't settle in the house. After rounding south, it's time to head north. Penang, here we come. Departing early, we arrived in Penang in time for brunch and headed off to Queensbay Mall. We hung around till it was time to check in and drove to town...but somehow got lost. Well, mum insisted she wasn't, since she's been to Penang so often, but due to the many back lanes and one-way streets...we found ourselves going round and round, not able to find the hotel. So I did the only thing I knew how to do...call for help (Yes, I called Sebastian...coz I can't think of anyone else who know Penang roads as well as him.) And hurray! We found the hotel! But no resting on our laurels, coz next stop was Gurney Plaza. I know...crazy hectic, aren't we? But hey, I only have two weeks holiday...gotta make full use of it. So now, today, we just came back from Penang...got on a ferry since a long time (saw lots of jellyfish too) and resting at home. As far as I know...these few days would be reserved for recuperating my feet at home. But mum probably won't sit still for long...

Good luck!

2008-12-09T12:06:00.002+08:00

Exams are coming! As I type this, I'm trying to read up my PSY201 notes... Too many things to remember...and I haven't gone through my PSY209 notes either. Her slides are so hard to read! ><

On one hand, most of the things I'm reading seems to look familiar, so I'm hoping that I can crap something out during exams. I need to maintain my performance now that I have to account myself to an organization...haih... Well, good luck to everyone who's taking their finals. Sure hope all goes well. Minna ganbatte! XD

Little blessings

2008-11-30T16:51:00.006+08:00

Blessings come in all shapes and sizes....so I came to realise yesterday.

It was colloquium...my maiden Colloquium presentation. For once, I finally understand how it feels like to be the one talking up there instead of listening to all the mind-boggling terms. But perhaps it is because of this knowledge that "Hello? Me first-year, me no understand" that I feel prepared for all the possible questions. (Like a question by an actual 1st year asking me what's counterbalancing....launched into PSY105 tutor mode...XD) Both presentations went well (at least, I felt like I gave it my best shot) and the later chairing sessions went on okay too. Ms. Winnee was right, I can always find questions to ask...to all whose sessions I've chaired or attended, hope I didn't scare you too badly. I don't ask for the sake of asking, just so you know. But the main point here lies in a few things....

Blessing #1: Ai Rene 'belanja' me lunch. This really makes me feel really blessed, coz I've hit total rock bottom financially. I came for Colloquium prepared to skip lunch and (hopefully) survive till 6 something when I reach home. But she offered to pay for my lunch, so felt blessed. Thanks, neon! XD

Blessing #2: I won one of the Best Speaker Awards! I admit that I hoped very much to get it, but I didn't actually thought I would. Thanks to the people who made me stay till 6!

Blessing #3: It was a Saturday...no bus = have to walk all the way home. Not exactly something I was looking forward to since I brought my laptop + I was in heels. I was anticipating (with no small amount of dread) the walk home, when Sebastian offered to fetch me home. Thanks!

To some people, it might seem like really small things. But for me, these things came when I was in need, so really felt blessed in a way. I don't know if it's because it's Arise & Build, or I was just being oversensitive lately, but really, I'm very grateful to all those little blessings I've been receiving...

Like all those people who've graciously lent me their laptops when I needed to finish my assignments...

Like every person who've sat down to listen to my worries...

Like those times when I needed transportation to CG and church, and despite how tired you were, you still fetched me....to this person, thanks lots...

Many times, we expect large, tangible blessings, but blessings can be something as simple as having people around you. And when you hit a rut, look at it again, and you might just find a blessing in it. Today was first fruits weekend...all I have in my wallet was my first fruits offering, which I didn't allow myself to spend because it belonged to God. I don't have anymore cash, and there's still another week before my allowance comes in. But I shall persevere and have faith in the Lord who is my Provider! This season is an opportunity to increase in faith, and I'm sure that even as I continue to give, He will bless me spiritually.

And a special thanks to Lynnette...I really didn't plan to talk about that topic...but somehow I found myself able to open up to you and confessed in you my insecurities. Thanks for listening.

Lastly, just to show you....

A Borders gift card! The prize from Colloquium~

Look! Twins!! Why do I end up with orange stuff? I'm not Naruto...

Imma BACK ON!

2008-11-26T15:30:00.002+08:00

I'm BAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!! After ONE WHOLE MONTH with no lappeh, and no internat (goodness knows how I survived...-_-;;;) my lappeh is finally back!!!! Time to get around updating myself again~~

A little breather in between...

2008-10-24T22:00:00.002+08:00

I'm back in Ipoh after a long week...with the intention of writing my 205 essay while I'm here.... But this scatterbrain had somehow forgot to bring her textbook with her....and I really hate having to write an essay from the middle to the end. (I like my essays organised, which means I have to write them from the beginning to the end....usually in one sitting)

It's been raining a lot this week....but I like it like that. It's not too hot...though it does make travelling a little inconvenient. The rain puts me in a quiet sort of mood....which may be what I need after a packed 2 weeks. The next 2 weeks still look pretty packed...and I know some people are on the verge of burning out. Guess the weekend is the time to unwind a little...for those who have time. Those who are...occupied...just hope you can take 15 minutes to be away and be with yourself.... The rain helps me with it.

I normally can't stand being alone, but the rain caresses a part of me and I'm blanketed in a warmth that I usually cannot feel when I'm by myself. I wonder where have I heard of this phrase...God is in the rain...

Since I can't do my essay, which sucks, but I suppose I can go read up those journals for 201...and just take the opportunity to relax.

The JB Experience

2008-10-20T20:02:00.004+08:00

This weekend was in JB with the rest of the H-Factor crew for the workshop. It's amazing, really, how just one workshop can impact your life. I may not be a participant, but ever since I came back from the Penang workshop, I feel that something inside me has changed. Perhaps it was the hustle and bustle around the job, or maybe the feeling of being able to travel to another place, or maybe even the fact that one could work with local celebrities...I don't know the actual reason, but it sparked a fire within me.

It was...different. I haven't been involved in events since the charity concert in the Summit. Despite the fact that both were events, both included celebs and stuff...I could feel the acute difference. What was it about H-Factor that made my blood rush and my adrenaline flow? How was it that despite just having several hours of sleep, I still had the energy and enthusiasm to bounce around and smile to everyone? It was so strong, this feeling...something I couldn't place, something I couldn't identify. I decided that maybe I was just plain excited and left it at that.

But coming back to KL after Penang, it was as though something in me became loose. I was restless. I wasn't supposed to be able to go to JB. In fact, I was supposed to be attached to another event going on in KL. The Global Peace Festival was an event which I have been following up since the middle of the year. My interest was simple...to help and to learn. But no matter how many times I contacted the organisers...they didn't seem keen on letting me help on the actual day itself. I tried to be patient and agreed to their suggestions, which was to help out with other projects taking place before the event. I continued to ask, stating as clearly as possible without sounding rude that my interest was in the day itself, and that my area of strength was dealing with people, or ushering. They tried to get me to do persuasive marketing, which was definitely not my best skill.

So on Thursday, I gave the organisers another call. I asked again. This time, they suggested I join a 3-day workshop and community service. Look, it's not that I hate it or something, but I made it very clear that it was not what I wanted to do. I wasn't crazy over the workshop, I wanted experience! So I made up my mind, called my mum and by the grace of God, somehow got her permission to go to JB. Then I called sensei to tell her that I wouldn't be attending GPF. Next, I told Leo that I wanted to go to JB to help.

This was the feeling...the urge, the inexplicable desire to do something that I know had meaning. It was my choice and my decision, and God gave me the opportunity to try. I felt like this was it. So I went to JB with Leo and the rest. I met a wonderful girl called Kiko. When we met on the bus, the first thing we talked about was horoscopes! Haha, Mika, you might enjoy chatting with her. We went really in-depth about horoscope and personality...touching lightly on psychology and spirituality. I was amazed to learn that she's a Scorpio...and much later in the day, I found out that Hannah was a Scorpio too....I'm surrounded by Scorpions, seriously. I have no idea why, hahahaha!

The experience in JB was very different from Penang. During the island trip, it was crazy! Everything was rushed, hectic...I was wonderfully busy. Although I worked myself till I was worn out, the sense of fulfillment was nothing like I ever felt. I felt that I had finally done something I like. JB was more laidback...there was no crazy rush, not much preps needed since most of it had been done. But the workshop wasn't as widely attended as the Penang workshop. We were all anxious and worried, most were frustrated. I was at first, but gradually I came to rationalise the situation as something that was more circumstancial (external attribution, LOL). Penang and JB had different audiences, so as to speak. Perhaps we have not addressed the needs of the JB audience and therefore, unable to lure their interest. There were many other things which crossed my mind, but the thought that stayed with me the strongest was simply the idea that maybe we're just in the wrong place with the wrong crowd for the wrong thing. Maybe JB just was not as interested in the creative industry as Penangites. Maybe folks in JB were more business-oriented.

Perhaps because I rationalised it this way, I didn't feel really bad. While some might feel pretty upset, I was able to say, "Hey, this is a learning experience too. Be grateful that you had the chance to go through something like this with a team you're familiar with." I was able to be involved in a successful event, and a not-so-successful one. It's a valuable experience! For me, being able to learn from it is most important. Of course, I understand that this was an event, so the small attendance was really something that sets off the workshop. But if this workshop could touch the lives of those few who came, won't it be meaningful? Somehow, this thought lifted my mood, and I somehow managed to stay calm throughout the whole workshop. Although this time I was assigned to registration, I learnt something new, so it was good. I still managed to treat the participants genuinely, and that meant a lot to me. If I can't be genuine to people, then why even bother being here? It's the ATTITUDE that matters.

More than anything, the crew and the speakers really had the opportunity to bond. Most of us never dealt with the speakers. I bet none of us will forget that Saturday night any time soon...when all of us were in a bus on the way to dinner, listening to Pietro cracking jokes, and David getting teased. Personally, when Hannah sat down near Kiko and I and talked to us, I felt like she really did care. It wasn't the kind of conversation where people try to make small talk about various small things, but it was like she really did want to know how we're doing and all. I was sitting right behind David and Fellest and had the opportunity to chat with them a little. It was really interesting to listen to them talk, and I realised that no matter where we come from, what we do and how different we maybe, essentially we're all people. One and the same...human race.

Now that I'm back, I really feel that I've found something I like. Being someone who's not into boring, routine work, this has been an all-new, totally exciting experience for me. Thanks, Leo, for giving me an oportunity. Thanks to all the other crew members for being such wonderful people who didn't mind it when this little chatterbox pestered you, be it for instructions or for my own social needs. Thanks to David and Pietro for providing us with plenty of laughter, thanks to Serena C for that little conversation in the restroom XD. Thanks Reymee, for being such a sweet person, thanks Hans and Harith, though I never made conversation, but you guys really made the workshop roll. Thanks Joey, for being so friendly and warm to us, thanks Fellest, for being such a nice, charming guy. And saving the best for the last, a huge ありがとう to Hannah, for making me feel like I did make a difference.

I might not be able to join you guys in KK (believe me, I really, really want to...) but my prayers go with you as you guys work your magic in KK (no pun intended XD). May all the preparations go smoothly, the participants interested and interactive, may all of you impact their lives, and have fun while doing that. Most of all, I pray that all of you will have a safe journey there, and a safe journey back. Amen!

Wonderful weekend with the H-Factor crew!

2008-10-13T18:30:00.003+08:00

For the first time of my life, I went off to another state without teling my mum (though I tentatively 'asked' my dad without him knowing I was asking). Went to Penang during the weekend to help out with the H-Factor Workshop.

I was really excited the whole time. As a result, I was brimming with energy and I couldn't settle down. Maybe I annoyed some of the crew with my 'hyper'-ness. Whoops if I did. But that aside, it was a total blast! Woke up really early to prepare for departure (and I went for church musical last night too....tired gila...). Together with the rest of the crew, we departed in vans.

Journey was....fairly uneventful *crosses fingers*. Couldn't sleep much, coz van was pretty bumpy. Then at around 11 something 12, we arrived at the prestigious G Hotel. This hotel is really awesome, everything is just so up to par! So basically we were assigned to our rooms. I roomed with Manda...then we went to lunch. Buffet was good too...while eating, Hannah came to brief us about what we were to do on that day.

So we went about the schedule for that day, with the main event being the promotion of H-Factor at Queensbay Mall. It was an absolutely new experience for me. I might be able to give an impromptu presentation in class, but hey! Talking to total strangers was really unnerving even for me. I mean, you have to walk up to these people and prepare yourself to get blasted and possibly rejected. But the hardest is always only the first step, so after I warmed up on a couple of students who already heard of the event (I didn't really started off at the right footing, but never mind, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger) I moved on to other shoppers. Basically just did what I normally would do with these situations...grit my teeth and just do it! It gradually got easier after a few times, and though I didn't sell no tickets, I 'sold' a lot of flyers, and those whom I aproached looked mainly interested but unable to decide.

Then Hannah and soem of the oher VIP speakers came to help promote H-Factor too. We had Reymee, Fellest (or is it Fellast?) (KM, you'd know him...the P24 Urban Groove dancer), David Lai the mentalist and Joey Khor, graphic designer and animator of HUE. Basically, they played some games and talked a little about the workshop. Gave away loads of freebies...Fellest pulled off a cool routine with his crew member, Eddie, while David wowed (and freaked) the audience with his tricks. I mean, this man can bend spoons just by looking at them!

After the whole thing, we wrapped up, head back to the hotel and walked over to Gurney Drive and ate at the hawker stalls there. Had a really great time being surprised by Isabelle's amazing appetite. The guys went totally crazy....after 6 plates of 'oo jian' they just got high or something. Started laughing like crazy and playing around. Guess boys will be boys...while we girls can only either laugh, cringe or both at them. Oh Regina, me finally tasted 'oo jian', but it wasn't really my thing la. After we makan kenyang-kenyang, we head back and straightaway went to the ballroom to get briefed. Then we just helped out setting the place up and stuff....went back to our rooms at like 1+. By the time I bathed and prepared the stuff for the next day...when I hit the pillows it was alredy 2-ish.

Woke up at like, 5.45 am to get ready. The bed was so comfy I didn't want to get up, but hey, there's a long day ahead. Went down to breakfast with the rest of the peeps, then started a super long day of work. We were literally just running around doing whatever we can to help. Let me tell you...putting pencils into 386 bags 1 by 1 is crazy...I nearly went nuts doing it. Kept checking to see if I accidentally slipped in 2 pencils instead of 1 or even worse, no pencils at all! OCDnya aku! Then went straight into ushering. I think I spent the first half of the workshop escorting people to the restrooms.

But my duties aside, the workshop was awesome!! It's nothing like I've seen before, you know, celebs coming to teach you how to do their jobs. It's really something to see Serena C and Pietro live, or listen to Harith Iskander, or seeing Hans Isaac in person. And they're all really nice too! The Penang crowd was simply amazing. They were so responsive and interactive; they're not shy to ask questions or make comments.

Throughout the day, I went on doing my stuff without really remembering how tired I am or if I was hungry. the only thing that distracted me was my aching feet...coz I had to usher in heels so yeah...if you rarely wear heels, try walking about and standing in it for 12 hours straight. But when people came over, you can really forget about pain in an effort to be of service to others.

When it ended, we had a short photo op, and wow! The sheer amout of people (of course la, 300+ participants wor...) As I expected, all the girls flocked towards Fellest, and the guys towards Hannah. Then the crew took some pics as well and those who had exams/classes/presentation tomorrow all rushed back to KL right after that. Was really hectic but hey! It was cool!

Although I was really tired, but it was a super enjoyable experience. I learned a lot over the weekend and I'm really thankful that Leonard gave me this opportunity. I'm looking forward to more for the future! And if you're curious about H-Factor, just log on to this website: http://www.h-factor.info/

Why?

2008-10-06T18:18:00.003+08:00

It looks like this is the year of food scandals, with the latest one being the China milk scandal. Hmm...China seems to be quite "prone" to this, don't you think? I'm sure plenty has been reported in the news considering how wide the impact is. The issue of putting melamine in milk is really crazy. Melamine is used to make plastic people...I'm sure that kinda tells you that you're not supposed to put it in food?

I don't understand how people can do that. For the sake of lowering production rates, they'd put cheap chemicals into their products. For the sake of maximising profit, they'd stick in stuff that'll "boost" the quantity but kill the quality. For the sake of money, they are willing to risk thousands and thousands of lives. Just in this milk scandal alone, how many thousand babies have suffered? Just in this scandal alone, how many products have to be recalled all over the world? China isn't the only country consuming its own products!

Why is it that people are so obsessed with making money that they fail to see the beyond the figures? How is it that people are so bloody keen on getting rich that they can ignore the possible consequences of their actions? Surely they know that melamine is dangerous to health! Why can't people just do things the old-fashioned way? If you want to get rich, then work for it! Why try for a shortcut than can potentially kill your future or the future of others?

People have fallen sick. Babies are chronically ill before they even know how to walk. Babies died...how cruel is the world that those who just entered into life as healthy beings should have to leave it again because of someone else's irresponsibility and greed...that their life and future were snatched away from them before they could what it was...that their dreams had to end before they ever had a chance to express it....

For the sake of material craving, many things were sacrificed...lives, principles, trust...things which can never be gained through material offerings. Now, the very thing they were chasing have eluded them. What consequences await them in the future? I don't know, but surely, those who still have a heart would have suffered their own selves already...for who can live with the guilt of taking lives and still be whole?r

Unbelievable stories

2008-10-03T00:29:00.005+08:00

This is unbelievable. I've only been in this house for...32 hours...but just now, the roof came down. To be exact, a panel fell from the roof. Now water is dripping onto the second floor...outside our rooms...aigoo~ I haven't even been here long enough to do the laundry, and I'm already regretting picking this house. But for the sake of distance and price....I'll endure till I find somewhere more decent. I thought as long as I stay in my room, my own corner I'll be fine, but it looks like certain things can't be avoided. Aish...

The hole in the roof...you can see...something...

The bucket we're using to collect the dripping water...next to it, you can see the fallen panel.

Then the night before I moved in, my mum came down to KL to help me move my stuff. So we ended staying one night at the Sri Puchong Hotel...opposite side of the road to Dae Jang Gum. And close to 1 something 2 am, there was a huge row downstairs. I was already asleep but the noise woke me up. Guess what made the noise? It was a woman screaming angrily. I was like, waking up and "Who's making that racket? I want to sleep..." My mum and bro were also up at that point, then we heard something like glass breaking. So my mum got curious and opened the window to see what's happening. I couldn't hear nuts...I only hear some lady screaming at someone else, and doors slamming. I was like, "Ugh, a Hong Kong drama at 2 am in the morning..." I don't care, I want to go back to sleep...and I did. Next morning, my mum asked the receptionist what happened last night. She tried to deny anything happened, but of course, no one digs out the truth like ol' mum. Apparently, the lady who was screaming yesterday caught her husband having an affair. The husband brought the woman to the hotel, and the wife found out. So lo and behold, a melodrama in the middle of the night...breaking glass, slamming doors and yelling. Plus, it seems my mum managed to comprehend some of the words the lady was screaming. I won't repeat it here due to its inappropriateness. But it sure is interesting to know that melodramas happen in real life too.

Lastly, before I shoot off to sleep, just a lil' glimpse of my corner~

Birthday surprises

2008-09-29T09:06:00.003+08:00

Whee~~ last Friday had been really nice. 誕生日からね~~

The gang gave me a bracelet-sorta thingy (sorry, can't recall the exact name for it), it's red and has a cross on it so lol! Thanks guys! Then they 'pakat' and had the class sing me a birthday song. I thought it was weird when Mika asked me if I wanna go to the loo together. XD But thanks anyway, that made me really happeh~~

Then at night, had cell group. Incidently, another cell member had the same birthday as I do. After cell, they brought out a cake and celebrated with us. I got a good book as a present too! Then we went to 'yamcha' after that. Guess who I saw? First group was, if KM remembers, the bassist from my church, and his brother, one of the vocalists of the worship team. The one who stood out the most? Anyway, they were with their cell members too. Then lo and behold! To my utter surprise I saw Leonard and Adeline, together with one of our BPsych classmates, Leong (sorry, only remember his surname, hope it's not wrong). Apparently, Hannah Tan had an event at a venue just round the corner, so he dropped by after. Managed to talk to him a bit.

Oh oh, ppl, OCT 10-12 there's a musical in my church. Wanna invite you guys to come along, so keep your calendars free for one of those days!

IMU Cheerleading Finals + Money Issues

2008-09-23T17:42:00.003+08:00

Went to the IMU Cheerleading Finals on Froday with my cell members. Was pretty exciting to watch. There was some problems with the PA system, so the last three teams performing lost audio at some point, but they did a really good job handling the situation, especially the final team, Phoenix. All the other teams were good too, all in a different sense. Some used more props, others emphasised more on stunts. Had a really good time, considering that I bumped into some old high school friends there. Didn't know they were in IMU...

Aside from that, my week has been filled with thought to say the least. Money is ranking tops on my worry list now...considering that I still have half of my fees to pay...not sure if we can come out with the money by the end of the month. Wondering if I should go out and look for a weekend job, but what difference will it make? I need the time for my studies...I can't afford to slip any more in my grades if I wanna aim for scholarships in the future.

Money...it's not everything in the world, but you can't live without it. That's the reality of it. It's really frustrating that it's one thing I normally don't care much about, but the one thing I really need now. I can't do anything nor control anything regarding my financial issues, and my parents said the same thing. I really can't help much, I know. But it doesn't stop me from worrying.

For now, all I can do is to do my part, the best as I can. In my case, that would mean to study well...to make sure that all the money my parents invested in my education is not wasted. I will do my best to live fully, without faltering, standing strong to support those who have expectations of me.

A fleeting thought...

2008-09-08T08:54:00.001+08:00

Do you believe in God and the Devil? Where does the Devil come from? Does he not come from the Creator? The devil’s origin is not known, but his purpose – to wreck havoc and tempt man into sin – is well-discussed all over the world. Yet, from whence does Satan come? Is Satan and the devil the same? What of his other names, Lucifer, the fallen angel? Or Beelzebub or Belphegor or whatever other names he had been given? Are those all the same devil? Or are they all separate entities which have been associated with him? We know not the origin of the creature which ill-advised Eve to partake in the forbidden fruit. But do you not think that if God is Creator, that the devil too originated from God? Yet why would God create something that would lead man – his beloved children and creations – away from the path which God has set for him? Why indeed?

Perhaps…if one were to look at it from this perspective, the devil’s purpose was to obstruct man. He was to lead them astray with the glamour of sin. He was meant to test man, to challenge their faith and their character, that those who believed should overcome it as a testimony to God’s power and grace. God provides obstacles and temptation, but He is a Holy God. Was He to lay such obstacles before man by himself? Was it not man himself who incited these obstacles, whether by the intention of other men or by falling into sin himself? Yet, why would man – even good men – be encouraged to perform sinful deeds? Was it not also on the account of the devil that many have fallen, as many as those who, by the weakness of their character and unbelief, allowed the devil to whisper into their hearts? Those who believed and held onto their faith and were obedient overcame the temptations and attained the favour of God. If one were to look at it from this perspective, then would one not say that the devil is also a tool? Would one not say the devil was moving under the influence of God, and thus is under His control?

Do you believe in the principle of duality? Everything that exists must have an exact opposite to counter each other. Light and dark exist to counter each other. Yet, can we do away with one of them? For without the other, is there meaning in the one which is left? Have you ever thought about what it would be like should there only be light and no darkness? Would we know that light is light, seeing that we have never known darkness? Or to be in eternal darkness, if we were to never know what light was to look like, would we long for its beauty? They exist in relation to each other, just as day exists with night. Parallel, chasing each other, but never to meet…

Similarly, good and evil…the idea that is associated with God and the devil, exist to give each other meaning…to be. If we have never seen evil, would we know what was good? Yet, does this tie with everything else? I don’t really know…I am not justifying the existence of the devil, but if one believes God exists, then one should also believe that His counterpart in nature exists. Whether the devil has a purpose or not, whether he too is tied to the all the other creations of God…that I can never seek to understand, because pure truth is sometimes painful, sometimes destructive, always elusive.

Back in HELP...

2008-09-05T09:04:00.003+08:00

Huuu...finally back in college for a brand new year, brand new sem. It looks like it's gonna be a tough sem, but an interesting one. I still haven't found a place to stay in...so I'm seriously considering staying at my aunt's place permanently. But it'll require a bit of work...like getting an Internet connection for a start...haih, too many facilities missing from the house.

Well, that aside, it looks like not much has happened...yet. Wait till the assignments pile in...bet I'll be too busy to think about much else. So for now, I've got nuts to say, but I'll check in if anything of interest happens.

Tag and the figure 8...

2008-07-23T15:58:00.003+08:00

Yes, yes...I know I haven't been updating...*guilty as charged* I've noticed that once I'm back home I hardly touch my laptop (My mum touches it mostly) but yeah....seriously, there's nothing much to write about life back in Ipoh. After all, this is a slow-moving town, with no fast-paced activities. So yeah, nothing much to say. Oh, I didn't get to go to Bon Odori coz my brother's 'cialat' school has exams...on a Saturday...in the afternoon!! What stupid school does that? *grumbles* I was so looking forward to it too...

But I got to meet up with an old high school friend, who's now studying in Penang, which is good. And my dad is coming back soon, which is even better!! XD Since this entry lacks body, I'll make it up with the tag Jas tagged me with. XD

8 Things I'm Passionate About

1. Books

2. Music

3. Movies

4. Food~~

5. DBSK

6. Suju

7. Manganime

8. PEOPLE!!!

8 Things I Said Too Often

1. Uwagh... *I know it's not a word...*

2. Hai hai...*this is Jap*

3. Weh? *and this is Korean*

4. Why are you so 'kiasu'? *in Cantonese and to my mum mostly*

5. Uh....

6. *breaks into song*

7. *still singing*

8. What else are you expecting? I say a lot of things very often.

8 Books I Read Recently

1. Let's see...Eldest

2. The Historian

3. Nancy Drew *I have nothing do to...so reading old books*

4. Septimus Heap Book 4: Queste

5. Skulduggery Pleasant..I'm actually reading it whenever I visit MPH, since books are just not getting any cheaper.

6. Baking books...what?

7. Newspapers....

8. Generally, almost anything I can locate in my little library.

8 Songs I Can Listen Over and Over Again

1. Love in the Ice by DBSK

2. Beautiful You by DBSK

3. U by Suju

4. You are the One by Suju

5. Deep in Your Heart by Domoto Koichi

6. Eien Ni by Kinki Kids

7. Love in the Phi by Kinki Kids

8. Fragrance by Gackt. *This was tough! As you can see...I'm very hooked to Jap/Korean songs*

8 Things I've Learned In The Past Year

1. That the Domoto Koichi of Jyu Oh Sei is the Domoto Koichi of Kinki Kids...I know, that's kinda lame...

2. Psych stuff I learnt over the year

3. I gained weight! XD

4. Certain guys are absolutely sexy when they dance XD

5. I sing with a chest voice apparently

6. My mum has a mild psychological condition, sigh...

7. I'm not a kid anymore *though I sure don't feel like an adult*

8. Mum has estimated the value of all the books we have in our mini library to be around 20k....Wow, and to think, I still feel that we don't have enough books..

8 People I Tag

1-8. Everyone that has been tagged by everyone else, if you know what I mean...

Cosfest Pt. 1

2008-07-08T09:17:00.005+08:00

Whew!! It's been a busy weekend, and I've got lots to tell! Went down to Singapore for Cosfest 2008, and boy! It was a totally new experience for me. It's perhaps the first time in...I dunno, 5 years...to visit Singapore. And I went without my family members too...which was another refreshing experience. Stayed with Gwen, who had been very kind to host me throughout my stay and take care of all my needs.

Cosfest was different from any conventions which I've attended in Malaysia...probably because the cosplayers in Singapore have a great deal more liberty. I mean, M'sian cosplayers have a lot of restrictions..especially concerning how much skin we show. But in S'pore..wow, those cosplayers really don't mind showing some cleavage if it's necessary (there really was one cosplayer who did that..since her character does that often, I suppose it's in character). Basically, on the first day, I was helping Teri with her costume and played PA (personal assistant). Helped carry her stuff and followed her around for her photoshoots and stuff...fixing her hair and costume when necessary. Lol, I feel like those 'noonas' who followed Suju and DBSK around XD. But it was really cool coz I get to see Teri in this:

Yup...that's Teri in a dress...but seriously she looks hot in this...what with blond hair and all. For your information, she's cosplaying Konishi from a game called Subarashiki Sekai. Here are some other pics from Day 1.

Group photo of the Subarashiki gang from left: Beat, Joshua, Shiki, Neku and Rhyme

Joshua (masako) and Rhyme(michy), I think

Neku (sizer) posing emo

Dr. Frankenstein from Soul Eater

Meh fave DGM bishi, Lavi! Very bishi ne?

That's all I can post for now...need to rush for class...will post the other pics once I get them from Teri. All pics are credited to SG cafe and copyright of all respectful photographers. Please do not take it out of my blog and use it, coz it's not mine to give. Thankies~

A Message to Two Friends + Snatch Thief Incident

2008-06-17T23:12:00.003+08:00

Too many things have been happening lately...just when I recovered from a period of 'emotional low'...someone else catches it.

Just found out some shocking news today. It was....absolutely unpredictable. It was one of those things that you thought would only happen on TV, but yet, faced with that reality, one can do nothing but to accept that things like that do happen. At times like these, there is nothing that a friend could do to relieve your burden but to be beside you and support you emotionally. We're still too young to do anything...and it is still a matter that should be handled by the family. Even if we have the intention to help, the truth is, we have no such ability...but we can offer you support as friends.

I know you're feeling the pressure and responsibility as the eldest to hold up the family...and I know that you won't let yourself fall. I, too, would say to you...stay strong. But know that you don't have to rely on yourself totally...at moments when you feel like you might fail, know that your friends are always around to offer your strength, to hold you up in this moment of crisis. We are always here to be your pillar...never hesitate to confide in any of us. Most of all, stay strong as a family. Family support is very important in times like these. I know you're not a believer, but know that things happen for a reason. God does not give us a challenge that we cannot overcome. No matter what happens in the future, we will continue to be by you. This event will definitely change your life...and you may find yourself hitting the ground, but the most important thing is to be able stand up again. I'm not being pessismistic, but I just want you to know that...life will go on no matter what happens. So let's face this hurdle together, okay? *big huggies*

And the other one....don't know what happen to you...but seeing you today kinda made me feel very worried and frustrated. I didn't know what to say...so I left you to yourself. I'm....not someone who's very good at comforting people...without saying something that might hurt them. But looking at you today, well, it made me sad that I can't do anything to help you. I really don't know what happened, but I want to say that you can always talk to us. I know you're someone who's afraid of bringing trouble to other people...what with all the issues that we've been facing lately. But seriously....don't try to bottle everything inside. Like you told me...when there is something bothering you, share it with us. However, I'm not going to force you share if you feel that it's private and something that needs to be dealt with personally. But know that you never need to feel 'paiseh' around us okay? Don't worry that you'll 'ma fan' us, okay? If you really need to, talk about it. *more big huggies*

I'll be praying for you two...so ganbatte!

On a side note...today a snatch thief grabbed a girl's belongings when she came out of the bank at KPD. We were just walking when we heard someone cry out, and te next thing we know...two men rushed on motorbikes to try and chase the thief. Not sure if they caught him, but the poor girl was in distress...so warning to all my HELP friends. Be careful yeah...and best to move around with company. God bless.

Renewed and Refreshed

2008-06-15T17:45:00.003+08:00

The weekend has given me a change of pace...which was crucial for me to just get away from everything for a while....and indeed I had to. Went back to my uncle's place and discovered that his internet connection died, so yeah...in a way, I was cut off from...stuff. So what did I do in an 'Internet-less' condition? I went back to meh good ol' hobby....watch drama. My uncle has some interesting series...CSI Hong Kong version...but I must say I prefer CSI. More sophisticated ma...

Then of course, I tried to study for MCH123...gah....read a lot, but nothing in the brain. I think have to utilise the art of crapification again. Just hope got stuff to crap about ><

And then came Sunday....which I have been looking forward to. For the previous week, I've been under a lot of pressure (from what, I dunno la...) Felt like an emotional dump....that's why so emo la....but went to church and cell again... Once again, the Lord has opened His arms to me, to welcome His child home. In His presence, I felt Him reach inside me, as though to touch my burdened heart, and I felt Him silently urging me to surrender all my misgivings, all my pain to Him. And as the tears flowed down my cheeks, I felt Him healing my battered confidence, lifting my physical fatigue...and most of all, renewing my spirit and my thirst for His presence. Here, in the House of God, all the moments of darkness which I have gone through for the past week just disappeared, and now the clouds have cleared.

And I know that He had sent people into my life...friends who cared for me and are truly concerned about me, family members who are supportive....cell members who would always welcome me with open arms whenever I come back. He sent these people into my life to make a change, to make an impact on my life, to catch me when I stumble in my walk with Him. And there are those whom He sent to challenge me, but God does not give man a challenge he cannot overcome. The same time He challenges us, He provides us with the tools and the abilities needed to overcome the challenge. Don't you think it's amazing?

I really thank You, Lord, that you have placed these guardians in my life, to help me when I'm weak, to share my joy and my sadness, Father Lord, that You have known my moment of weakness, Lord, and You sent them to show that they love me, that You, Father Lord, above anyone else, love me. Lord, I pray that I will be used in the same manner, to show other people that there are those who care for them. Lord, I pray that I do not love with my own capacity but to love with Your capacity, because Your love can truly exceed boundaries. Lord, use me to work in other people's lives so that they too, can experience Your amazing love. Amen.

PS: Another note...EMERGE '08 is coming peeps! It's Aug 29-31. It's gonna be a fun-filled event, with competitions, performances and people are really gonna have a great time, as well as powerful sessions that will impact your life. Best of all, EMERGE '08 is OPEN TO ALL, so people, make sure you come along. In fact, you can participate in the competitions if you're interested. We have loads of events waiting for you, so come check us out at www.emergekl.my! Contact me if you're interested in going~~

You know who you are...Thanks

2008-06-11T19:24:00.004+08:00

Hey...thanks for your words yeah? It's just that....well, I really have a...problem with being left out on conversations and stuff...and well, maybe some of you can deal with it when you don't un what's going on or maybe some sort of secret joke or hidden meaning or whatever, but I have an extreme complex about it. And I think I'm a bit paranoid, because when that happens, I feel like I'm totally left out. Even when I tell myself not to be so paranoid, the feeling gets better of me sometimes. It's something that I've been struggling with for...years? I think it's just me...maybe you're right. Maybe it's about time I slow down. Don't worry...I don't think there are any arguments, and I can tell you all the bonds I have with all of you are real. I just....have a problem with attachment. I just hope I can really be honest with myself...and sort out this issue soon. Haha, thanks again.

Makeover? To do or not to do...

2008-06-09T23:11:00.005+08:00

A quick, random post...do I need a makeover? I've been carrying the same image since what, primary school? Even my long-time friends don't feel that I've changed much. Makes me wonder if I should like, get a makeover.

My mum used to say, "There's no such thing as an ugly woman, just a lazy one." Kudos to you, mum! But hmm....a bit 'ma fan' le...(troublesome, that means). I mean, want to do something to my hair....but it's prone to damage, so not sure if I should do anything drastic to it....plus the curly-but-not-entirely-curly nature of my hair makes it a pain to style. Can't go for short hair coz mum won't let me...and I don't think it fits me. Plus can't dye....it'll kill my hair T_T No parental permission either...maybe I should go see a stylist?

I suppose I can try other things la....like modify the way I dress etc...but seriously, in Malaysia it feels more like a pain than anything. I'm really picky about what I wear...need to consider the weather, the occasion...mood. At the end of the day, the best combination to suit all these would be the ever reliable jeans and tee with sneakers. And someone once told me to learn makeup, but....practical or not when I have to walk to college? I mean, how can you expect anyone to makeup in this weather? Will melt immediately okay? Plus if you sweat with makeup on....ugh....that's so bad for your pores. But one day want to play around with eyeliners and stuff lol...saw Mika draw with them once, now curious...

Bleh...at the end of the day, must still see the most important factor...got MONEY or not???

Mood Gone Haywire

2008-06-03T21:53:00.002+08:00

Something was wrong with my 'aerial' today.... Couldn't connect to anyone today...hmm.... It's the old feeling revisiting...the feeling I really hate the most.

I don't know what was bugging me....but something was definitely wrong. Started off fine...then around lunchtime...I felt myself sinking into an unmistakably familiar...yet unwelcomed mood. Yeah, once again, the feeling of being in the crowd but not part of it.

Everyone has a particular...issue that bothers them once in a while. For me...well, I've always been struggling with this type of loneliness, if I can call it that. It's really bizarre, actually...since I've never seen myself as someone who would have problems being social, but yeah... Maybe it's because I'm so social that I have this problem...a need for reassurance that I'm not just some decoration on the wall. I really have an issue huh?

I've been pretty free from this feeling since, I don't know, a pretty long time. But I guess, occasionally, things like these need to come back and haunt you for a while. Maybe the hiatus made the feeling grow stronger...like some form of accumulation or stagnation, but it really hit me hard. I couldn't find the energy to just...be my usual cheerful self...or maybe I didn't want to, I don't know...

It's like, someone pushed you off a really high cliff...but you don't want to try opening the parachute 'cause you're enjoying the fall. Yeah, something like that. It's not a feeling I like, but I need to steep myself in it once in a while. I believe people call this feeling 'Solitude', something that's not necessarily nice, but necessary...I believe it's necessary for me anyway. It's at times like these I sit down and get in touch with myself...I spend a lot of time with people, so much that sometimes, I forget that I'm a person too...I too need to talk to myself sometimes.

So yeah...I was just...immersing myself in the feeling... At one point, I think I was throwing a tantrum...a quiet tantrum. But at who or what? Beats me. Then I told myself, look, remember what you always say to all those depressed friends about feeling depressed? Give yourself time to mourn, then get over it! So yeah....I realised I couldn't snap out of it...the intensity was really different, I guess it must be because I haven't been down for so long, so I did what I usually do when I hit rock bottom.

I starting writing on a piece of paper....using writing as a medium to talk to my inner self...and let the writing just flow till I hit the main cause...which I did, I guess...because that's when I feel the words flow like they needed to be said, and I could no longer write legibly....I was literally scribbling across the paper. I could feel my expression hardening, changing...and finally, I came to the end of the rant.... Then I tore the paper to bits....a little symbolism, I guess...as a sign to tell myself that this issue has been said, dissected and gotten over with. Then slowly in class, my mood picked up till I was finally laughing again at Ms. Winnee's sarcastic jokes.

Moments like these make me think that no one is immune to feeling down at times. (Yes, even a person who seems like she only sees the bright side of things) But I guess the most important thing about the whole issue is how you handle the emotions...how to experience it without letting it take control over you, and learning to carefully dissipitate the emotions....so you don't hurt others or yourself. I'm still feeling some of the repercussions of the 'episode'...still in a quiet mood...especially since it's a 'Rainy Night', yes, Junsu? But I think after some sleep, I'll be back to becoming a loud and bright Sarah again.

Baz's Bday Bash

2008-05-22T22:51:00.003+08:00

Went back to Ipoh last week to celebrate my bro's birthday early. The celebration called for the good ol' home-cooked meal, with the menu partially picked by the birthday boy himself; mixed grill, durian cake and 'tang yuen' (don't ask me why, but my bro really likes 'tang yuen'), with other dishes such as homemade pizza, salad, pasta and of course, red eggs included in the menu. As usual, such a banquet was prepared by the best cook in the Yung family, meh mum! XD

Just a short post with a few pics.

The dishes for the bash...everything looks good eh?

Meh family members, posing with the homemade durian butter cake

The kitty I 'adopted' from the streets, Jac (my sis named her, don't ask me) posing for a photograph

Another pic of naughty Jac...who doesn't seem to be afraid of people. Ever seen a cat on a leash coz it can't behave?

Of Books and Birthdays and the Brand New Semester

2008-05-13T20:41:00.004+08:00

Woah, I've been taking a long break off my blog. Partly because I'm back in Ipoh, mostly because what I was doing in Ipoh. I must say...once I got back, I literally glued myself to the PS2..haven't played for a long time, and my bro finally bought back Shadow Hearts 2, but it was the Jap version (We had the English one once...but I think my mum threw it away T_T)

So yeah, spent the whole week playing Shadows Hearts 2, and watched lots of TV. There is no TV where I stay in KL...and eat lots of good Ipoh food...went to Camerons and had tea there...went to Penang for a day trip and eat some good Penang Food. Did some shopping too. (Actually, my mum did the shopping, but she got me a new pair of shoes out of the trip XD)

Me and meh siblings...my bro 'leng chai' le? XD

In Penang's Queen's Bay Mall

UTAR Kampar...scenery is superb here.

Our beloved Luffy...ain't he cute?

And most importantly, I've been catching up on reading. I've been devouring my books like crazy...with what time I have left from PS2. Managed to digest 'The Shakespeare Secret'...gonna do a small book review here:

I like books that challenge me mentally, and are able to engange me into their storylines. So yes, I like books which have language capable of transforming words into graphics in my head, and plots which allow me to think about the 'whats' and 'whys' abd 'hows'. Chick lits lack these severely, with a few rare exceptions. This book is essentially another 'Da Vinci Code' in the guise of English Lit. Basically, it talks about a woman who is searching for a long lost (perhaps legendary) play of Shakespeare and a murderer is on her trail. Really interesting plot twists, and the story is well-grounded. If you're not a fan of Shakespeare or English Lit...or even Da Vinci Code, then I think this book may not appeal to you very much.

Then I literally chewed through 'The Black Book of Secrets', a fantasy fiction of a Secret Pawnbroker and his assistant. I find the concept of pawning secrets interesting, and the relief and breakthrough brought by unloading these secrets remind me very much of psychologists and counselors in general. Now, if I can just go back and grab Book 4 of Septimus Heap...The Queste, if I recall correctly. I'm craving for some good horror-based novels too...I miss my Anne Rice vampire novels

I'm now back here in KL for my 3rd semester. Really sucks that I can't take PMG101...which translates to having to take an ADP elective...which means staying back for an extra week. >< Just hope we can take some interesting elective. On a side note, Ms Winnee's class looks to be another interesting sem. XD It's interesting when you have a lecturer who has OCD and has all sorts of cute and funny quirks! XD

Today is Gorgan's birthday! Whee~~~ Happy Birthday, our beloved 'Umma' and Jie~~ XD

We decided to surprise him a bit. Pretended not to remember it was his birthday, then got him cake and coffee from San Fran's. When we burst into birthday song and gave him the cake, his whole face was red...I think he was close to tears, hahaha... And we got him the necklace! Hahaha, he was smiling into his nasi briyani the whole time! I'm really very glad that he was happy. I don't think anything makes me happier than seeing the smiles of those who are close to me. ^^ Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside (corny, I know).

PS: I've updated the songs of the month too. If you've never heard them before, give it a try. If you have, well, I say listen to it anyway. 'Whatever They Say' and 'Somebody to Love' really display DBSK's harmony and prowess. And 'So I' is a really sweet song from Super Junior. (Yes, I'm sure my fandoms are apparent by now)

Another Tag XD

2008-04-28T20:19:00.004+08:00

Whee~~ Imma tagged by Jas again lol! Kk, here we go~

Name 5 people you can think of right off the top of your head.Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 5people.This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list the names first..NO CHEATING!
1. Jasmine
2. Mika
3. Gorgan
4. Karmun
5. Anne

1. How did you meet 1? (Jas)
- Uhh....in all honesty, I can't quite remember lol! But I think it was in Bio class? Yeah, I think so.

2. On a scale of 1 -10 how would u rate your friendship with 1? (Jas)
-Whee~~ 9.5! I don't ever give perfect marks, because then it means there's room for further improvement/development! ^_~ *huggies*

3. How long have you known 4? (Karmun)
- Uh...almost 2 years, since Foundation.

4. How do you know number 3? (Gorgan)
- LOL, this one I remember. I was going to join Kim for lunch and was introduced to Gorgan, Ling and Amanda. Oh, and Leonard too! I think the first thing we talked about was a Christian book, lol. And like many people, I misheard his name as Gorgon (as in Medusa the Gorgon lol).

5. Wheres 5? (Anne)
- Back in Ipoh

6.A fact about number 1? (Jas)
- Uh....a Scorpio? XD

7.Who is 4 going out with? (Karmun)
- No one! *PR for Karmun* Hot chick, single and available, please contact her 'agent' for interview and evaluation. Preferences include hot body (like Yunho's), good-looking (like Yunho), manly (like Yunho) and oh, did I mention like Yunho? XDDDD

8. What does 1 do for a living?(Jas)
- LOL...she lives by eating food, breathing air and drinking water. Extra nutrition originates from DBSK, gets sugar high over Yoochun and has an antidrug called the Psycho Squad. XD

9. Would you live with number 3? (Gorgan)
- Uh, I think he would have a bigger problem about it. ^_~

10. What do you like about number 2? (Mika)
- Ooohh...she's a very interesting person. Has a lot of skills (she dunno only XD). *glomps*

11. Do you miss number 5? (Anne)
- Yeah...hope I'll be able to ask her out for a drink when I go back to Ipoh.

12. Would you make out with number 4?(Karmun)
- Uh...like duh, no. Sorry, Karmun, but you're not exactly my type, ne? And I'm sure I'm not yours. (Faham-faham la ha XD)

13.What’s your opinion of number 2? (Mika)
- Like my lil' sister. She's realistic, calm...and can really make me laugh. ^^

14. What's your favorite memory with number 5? (Anne)
- Just talking over a drink about various things...really miss those times..

15. What would you do if number 1 (Jas) and 2 (Mika) were going out?
- If you mean as in hanging out, then chances are, I'm hanging out with them as well. If you're talking about something else...I'll wait till that happens and see. *fufufu*

16. Ever had a long conversation with 5? (Anne)
- We don't have short conversations.

17. Have you ever slept at 2's house? (Mika)
- Nope...not yet. (Wait la...hehe, it'll be your turn soon enough XD)

18. Do you hang out with 3 a lot? (Gorgan)
- Let's see...on a daily basis in class...plus weekly lessons..and random outings. What do you think? XD

20. How often do you talk to 1? (Jas)
- Uh....like...every time I see her, which is like, every time we go to class? Oh wait, I talk to her even when I don't see her (via a system called MSN lol).

21.What about 2? (Mika)
- Hm..a lot too, though in a different sense. Her definition of a lot is slightly different than mine.

22. Have you ever thought 3 more than a friend? (Gorgan)
- *raise eyebrows* Must I answer this question?

23. Would you go out for a date with 5? (Anne)
- My dear, we've been on dates before...that's what we call those outings. XD

24. Do you dream about 2? (Mika)
- Sometimes, yes...together with the rest lol!

25. What did no 4 did to you that you can never forget? (Karmun)
- Uh....not that I would forget much...but nothing that would cause me concern? ....No wait...banging her car while I'm in it with her lol.

26. What have you done for 1 that the person never forget? (Jas)
- Oh....some...like her *cough**cough**cough* and all the talking we did XD

27. What's 3 hobby? (Gorgan)
- Electronically related....like going online, play PSP...watch shows (like Nodame) XD

I'm gonna tag...Regina and Leonard! Whee~ this was fun! ^_____^

Another 'interesting' presentation from the Couple's gang...

2008-04-21T17:57:00.003+08:00

Birds of a feather flock together...just when I thought that girl-half of the Couple was the only one with a weird presentation, enter her friend...who's always with them. Today, it became clear to me how these two could be good friends.... -_-;;; Let me tell you what's the differences between the two presentations...

Firstly, while the girl picked a weird job, her friend, whom I shall call 'Bai' (Chinese for white, coz she normally wears white...of course, you can attach some other words at the back for different meanings..) Well, 'Bai' has a pretty normal job...a lecturer.

Secondly, while the girl was bombarded with questions, 'Bai' hardly had any. The reason?? Let me then say this is where the similarity starts. The presentation was weird....WEIRD!!!

She came up to the front to present, and the first thing she said was "My name is *beep* and I will be your PSY001 lecturer."

I thought, 'Okay, so she's going to roleplay...'

Then after that, she said, "I give you 5 minutes to ask me questions about my job."

What??? You haven't presented anything, what do you expect us to ask?? All of us were like staring at her dumbfounded...for once, I couldn't think of what to ask. Then 3 people asked la...

"Do you think you're qualified to teach?"

"Why a lecturer?"

"What is your long-term goal?"

Then after that...total silence....I think if I dropped a pen, it'll sound like I dropped a brick. Most of us then thought, 'Ah, maybe she wants to do the Q&A session first, then do her presentation...' because the next thing she said was, "If there are no more questions, I will proceed with the lecture. (pause) That is the end of the roleplaying session. Are there any questions about my presentation?"

Of course don't have la! You haven't presented anything! So we all sat quietly and waited patiently for her to go on....then....

"Thank you."

What? Huh? Huh?? Over already??

That was how all of us were feeling then. I actually really wanted to ask her something but I didn't because I don't really have the authority...and I might make a poor little girl cry, so I kept me mouth shut. I shall rant here!

Granted, you are qualified to teach, but what makes you suitable for the job? What makes you stand out from the rest? There is a difference between being qualified and being suitable.

Are you aware that we are your future employers and not your future students? Do you feel that you have the right temperament to be a lecturer? (Given that I've seen her burst into tears over some silly issue of not being the best)

Given that the objective was to persuade us that you are suitable for this job, do you think the presentation style was appropriate? Do you think you have effectively persuaded us, who are your prospective employers?

I admit that this is very creative, but do you think you have provided us with sufficient information to decide whether to hire you or not? If the information is not sufficient, are you aware that you will not be considered for the job?

Haih...I'm utterly convinced that some people just have low EQ...or no common sense. -_-;;;

On a side note, my own presentation went okay. I think I managed to answer the needs of the presentation, so I'm glad. Finally, I'm totally free from assignments and projects! Now off to meh books...*scuttles off*

Super funny day at church

2008-04-20T21:24:00.005+08:00

Church was good today....something touching happened, something hilarious happened..let's go in chronological order.

Bible study at 8.30...yeah, had a different 'teacher' this week too... Li Li was her name, I think. Combined class today so...woah, a lot of people. Then service was awesome. I found it very meaningful...and relevant to what I was thinking about.

And now...the highlight of this post. XD *already laughing just thinking about it* After service, went to lunch with the cell members....and well, one of them just had uh...an unforeseen crisis. Naturally, when 6 girls gather together and she brought up a topic like that...all of us pestered her to tell us.

I was eating wantan mee that time...just hearing the beginning part was so funny, I was trying hard to chew and swallow while grinning from ear to ear. XDDDD And my cell leader just walked over, so she had to repeat the story. At this point, my laughing meter was already reaching the full tank. But I continued to eat without really laughing. While I was drinking soup....aish, she blurted out the highlight. It was sooooo funny that I was totally overcome by a sudden desire to burst into delirious, hysterical laughter.....which I most unfortunately did....with my mouth full of soup....so yeah....ended up spraying "holy water" halfway across the table and "blessing" 2 members.

Sorry! >< But I really couldn't help it....it was soo funny!! And my cell leader...and other members were laughing their heads off when I did that, which didn't help, coz it made me laugh even more! LOL Aigoo~~~ it was sooo embarrassing, but it was soooo hilarious!!!

PS: Rev. Ps. Kong of City Harvest S'pore will be coming to City Harvest KL to preach! He's a wonderful man of god, so do come for the service and listen to him preach. It will touch your lives. For more details, pm me! ^_~ *hinthint* You guys are attending right?

L Change the World + My take on friendship

2008-04-17T09:14:00.005+08:00

Ok...let me first do this...*squuuuuuuuuueeeeeeaaaaaaaallllllll* Yaaa~~ Matsuken is soooooo cute/cool/charming/quirky!!!!

Okies, now on with the story. After our 103 finals, during lunch, my friends and I were discussing when we should go and see the movie L: Change the World. And since we had time to spare, we decided to go there and then! So 5 of us....Karmun, Mika, Gorgan, Ling and I (actually Jas was with us too, but she didn't go for the movie) went and watched the show la.

My take on it? Totally satisfying! XD I shall comment without spoiling (too much). XD

Storyline

Sound...admittedly the plot isn't something as groundbreaking as the previous movies, but most of the aspects were covered pretty well..no major plotholes (and we all know how thankful we must be to that)

Visuals

This is of course, cool. Directed by the director of The Ring (sorry, can't remember the name) so there were some parts which were really cringe-worthy. Aside from that, totally no prob!

Cast

Aaahhh...now this is what I really wanna comment on..saving the best for the last, let me start with the little boy. Haha, he's such a cute boy! Basically he didn't have many lines, but I think for a kid as young as him, he did pretty well in conveying his character. Next, the girl who played Maki. Guys (and girls, too), never piss off a girl/woman/lady...you will suffer the consequences. Hell hath no wrath like a woman scorned. The actress, whose name I can't recall, is good with her expressions, especially of anger. The look she put on her face...woah... She's also very pretty.

Now, the main star of the show....Matsuyama Kenichi!!! Kyaaa~~~ He's soooo cool in this! And portraying L's cute antics perfectly, I must say he captured L's character wonderfully. And the best part is you get to see the different...more human parts, of L's personality. Characters like L are not easy to play, so I think Matsuken did a great job. LOL, on screen, whenever L did something cute, the whole cinema would react. XD And when he did something cool..well, I don't know about the rest of the cinema, but Mika and I clapped LOL.

So yes, people! Go watch it! For those who lament the lack of L cameo during the previous movies, this is the movie to watch. I assure you you'll fall deeper for this quirky character L, and be enamoured by the charms of his actor, Matsuyama Kenichi.

Ok, now that's finally out of my system...let me progress to something a little more...bland. I heard this phrase....from someone...whom I honestly don't have much respect for (and I'm having less and less respect).

Some friends are like diamonds, precious and hard to find.Some friends are like fallen leaves, could be found everywhere.

Now...I won't talk about the person who said this (because all of us know ma...) but I'll give my opinion on this topic of friendship.

Friends, in my vocab, are never diamonds. To me, false friends are like diamonds. Why? Because they're just for looks. They cost you everything, but give you nothing in return, except for a pleasant outer perception. Really, I really could do without diamond-like friends.

I have no analogy for a real friend, but I can tell you this...a real friend doesn't judge you, they don't push you away when you turn to them...they share your laughter and your tears. When you do something wrong, they correct you and then comfort you. When you achieve something, they might tease you, but in their hearts they will rejoice for you. I think, real friends are the ones who you could always call in the middle of the night, and they'd still entertain you (provided they hear their phones la...) More than anything, a real friend knows how not to compromise you for his/her own sake.

I don't know how many real friends I've met in my 20 years....but I know I've met a bunch of people who I trust to be my real friends, and who trust me to be their friend in return too. What about you?

Back in Ipoh

2008-04-11T22:18:00.003+08:00

I'm back in Ipoh, lalalala~~

Had to get up early...go and photostat one more cert... Finally submitted the form..hopefully I will be able to get the scholarship. then rushed to Puduraya to board the bus. Woah, luckily I made it in time for the 11.30 bus.

Despite trying to sleep in the bus...didn't really get to. Kept waking up after a while....the result? Ended up more tired -_-;;; しかしなあ。。。久し振りここに帰たよ。

Didn't really do much after I came back...just lazed around. I did attempt to study 103 a bit (lugged the textbook back...haih). But didn't get very far. Tomorrow gonna head to Kampar TAR for their Open Day. Sam is gonna check out the courses...and so is mum. They kept asking me if it's ok to go -_-;;; Hello...I'm not the one who's going to possibly study there...don't ask me la...

Aaahh...suddenly I miss the piano lol! Since I won't really have the opportunity to practice here...haaa....

Interesting day + Suju-M!?

2008-04-10T22:04:00.003+08:00

Wow, had a really interesting day today! First and foremost, thankies Karmun for fetching me to college today! Last tut for 103, but hey, at least it was interesting. Handed up all my assignments, so yeah..now I can finally concentrate on revision. Some highlights of today:

Coffee with Ai Rene at San Franscisco's
Met Ai Rene before MC100 tut...she asked me if I wanted to go and have coffee with her, so I did since I had time to kill. So, Ai Rene and I..and her friend whose name I cannot recall, the 3 of us went to San Frans'. For as long as I've been studying in Block E, that's the first time I stepped into that shop. Ordered the hot choc 'cause I don't drink coffee XD

For almost an hour, Ai Rene and I talked about anime and BL stuff...yeah, lol... We were totally fangirling over seiyuus. Her poor friend....Mei Hui! There, I remembered her name! XD Mei Hui...hopefully she didn't feel too left out lol. But yeah...then Edward came in and we all went back to Block E. And then, I asked Ai Rene the unimaginable.

"Does [someone] not like me? I get the feeling that she's not too pleased with me." We all know who la ha... Anyhoo, I asked her that and she blandly told me yes. LOL! Well, not outright la, but of course anyone can see that things aren't really smooth between me and that person. But yeah...I said it must be because I'm "loud and annoying" *ahemquotesomeoneahem*

Then she said, "Yeah...and probably because you're very outgoing too."

Excuse me? You have a problem with me because I'm outgoing?? That's like, the weirdest reason I've ever heard. But even Ai Rene admits that it's 'cause of a clash of personalities. Yep, you got that right, girl. And so we discussed at length about the person....her different background and all...then I brought up another unimaginable topic...

Proximity...yep...that person's issue with personal (invading, more like) space. I can't quite believe myself....I mean, I actually went and said "If [someone] was being that close to a girl, then it's still okay, but to a guy I think...in M'sia anyway, [someone] should learn to respect other people's personal space." Then yeah, I brought up the whole...shimmying up to a guy thing...mentioned that it's not appropriate, especially when said someone does it to a guy from a totally different cultural background. Again, we all know who la.

So yeah...Ai Rene was like, "I'll talk to her about it." Ah well, as long as it can serve to better people, I can live with the fact that I just tried to advise that person indirectly. ><

The couple: female half's presentation

The Couple...some of you will know who I'm talking about...doesn't matter if you don't. Anyhoo...the girl..well...today is her turn to present in MC100. Gosh, at first I thought she was just different, but now she's plain weird!

"My next career move is to be a professional neutraliser." Translation: Professional assassin.

.........

Uh, excuse me? Are you delusional? You want a future career that involves killing people? And you give us all these crap qualifications about having weapons training and whatnots....are you even telling us one-tenth of a shred of truth? Heck, all of us were like

"Is that job legal?" Of course not!

"What about moral concerns?" Well, you have to be a cold-blooded person to be in the field, duh!

"What's the motivation?" Money all the way. Nicholas even asked her if it was a joke....-_-;;;;

And I thought she was weird before this...now she's plain scary. Our 'angel' couldn't process why someone would study Psych to kill people when she's studying so hard to help others. Well, Manda, there are all sorts of people in the world after all, it's not surprising there's a potential psychopath in our class.

So yeah...other things not as exciting, so I'll leave those out....

Edit: OMG!!!! Suju has a new subgroup??? I'm so behind!! Suju-M debuted in China...performed U (Chinese vers.) live...members are Hankyung, Shiwon, Donghae, Ryeowook, Kyuhyun, Henry and Zhoumi....

I get Henry, and I can accept him (coz he's talented and cute and all) but why another Chinese member??? I haven't even seen this guy anywhere before! Argh!!!! Mika....where are you when I want to spazz/rant??? T_T

Tagged!! LOL

2008-04-09T19:39:00.003+08:00

LOL I got tagged by Jas! Oh well, since i haven't done one in ages, I'll answer this. ^^

Instructions: Remove ONE question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

1. What's your favorite anime at the present time?
- Hmm...currently Wallflower and Shounen Onmyouji.

2. Given the chance, what special ability/power would you like to have?
- Telekinesis XD

3. How do you think about yourself?
- A walking paradox who can do much more to be a better person.

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
- Japan! LOL I've been wanting to go since forever!

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
- Hmm....to love and to be loved? *hinthint* XD

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
- Yes, both in the literal and metaphorical sense.

7. What are you afraid to lose the most now?
- My loved ones.

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
- Donate some, invest some and spend the rest on my family and friends.

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
- It depends on the person's personality I guess. But I'm a bit sensitive to rejection, so I might have a hard time. So guys, take note! Even outspoken girls have their shy spots. ^///^

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
- Whee~~ caring, sincere and my close psycho buddy!! XD *huggies Jas*

11. How about something which the person can improve on?
- Hmm, I would say she needs to have a bit more confidence in herself, and be more positive.

12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
- People who can't learn to be considerate to other people, always thinking they're above others. If you've got no respect for people, don't expect people to respect you! ><

13. What is your ambition?
- Ambition? For now, to be a director. But my dream is to be able to bring happiness to people.

14. If you have fault, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
- Depends on who does the pointing out. If you're someone I respect, then I'd appreciate the comment, but if not...then I hope I won't blow you off.

15. What do you think is the most important in your life?
- God and Loved Ones. If God turned His face from me, I don't think I'll live a fulfilling life. If I had no family, no friends, then I will have no reason to be alive.

16. Are you a shopaholic or not?
- Depends on what item we're talking about. But I'm a big spender on food, so yeah... XD

17. What is the thing that you really want now?
- To know which path I should be taking in life...and also if I will ever be loved. (Yes, I seem like some love-deprived moron huh?)

18. Why does it hurt when you punch someone?
- Hmm...is this a trick question? XD

19. Is there anything that you have done which you regret?
- Yes, but what's past is past. It's important to be living now than to wallow in misery for what's happened. All is resolved in Him.

20. Are you hungry right now?
- Just ate dinner, but I'm craving a good bar of dark chocolate...or a Flurry. *goes off to search for sweets*

LOL, I had fun doing this, but I'm running out of people to tag! I know the 'gang' would have been tagged already, so I tag anyone who stumbles upon this blog! XD Unless you already did it la...

I'm okay now..thankies <3

2008-04-07T00:29:00.002+08:00

Thank you to the Lord...for providing me with wisdom, courage and the strength to step up to my responsibilities. Thanks to all my friends for being so supportive...I was so touched when the moment I was so discouraged...all of you PMed me and asked me if I was all right. I'm okay now...sorry I worried all of you. Thanks, you guys are the best! *hugs all*

Just a short post on my much improved mood. The problem has not gone away...but I have a changed perspective now.

Something not so good happened...

2008-04-06T00:20:00.003+08:00

I'm going to need to see Ms Yeo soon....things are...well, there are too many things happening too suddenly. Just over the weekend...something happened..not to me..but to my sister, and it looks like the problem is going to affect the relationship between her and my mum...and it wil burden my dad, no doubt.

I don't want dad to worry more than he has to now...he's already working so hard, apart from his family..as the eldest daughter in the family, I have to help solve this thing...because if I don't, all of us will regret it for life...and I won't forgive myself for letting that happen...

I'm so frustrated I even ranted in my old blog...it's been long that I did something like that...

Going off to bed now. Still need to go to church tomorrow.

Father Lord, is this a test from you? I feel so challenged and helpless...I know that with my strength alone, I can do nothing, but with Your strength, anything is possible. I want to pray for my sister...it looks like it'll take a miracle...but Lord, you can do all things. All I can do now is to pray for Your strength and Your guidance. I pray for wisdom when talking to my mum and sis...pray that I will know what to say to help them...pray that I can find a way to solve this problem so that their relationship won't suffer. Lord, Your child needs you now. She is weak, and You are strong...help me...In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

The power of melody, rhythm and lyrics combined

2008-04-01T21:33:00.003+08:00

Music is an odd and wonderful thing. Throughout the ages, songs have shaped attitudes, recorded history, moved nations...it is perhaps one of the greatest gifts God has given humankind.

Having listened to music practically all my life, it struck me that there are always certain songs that reach deep inside us and touch us emotionally and spiritually. It was easy for music to shape my moods, but not every song I've heard have managed to move me. And being someone who enjoys songs from at least 5 different languages, it surprises me sometimes how I don't have to understand what the lyrics mean to feel it.

Of all the songs I listen to, Korean songs are on my foreign language list. At least, it means I don't understand the lyrics most of the time. But there were several instances a song moved me deeply...like the song 'You Are The One' by Super Junior. Although I like many of their songs, this song in particular has a soft spot in my heart. I remember seeing them perform this song on Youtube the first time...although I didn't get the lyrics, it brought tears to my eyes. I don't know why....it was just...something about the song sounded so beautiful, yet so sad. Up till now, songs like 'Endless Moment' and 'So I' have brought me close, but they never really induce that same bittersweet feeling I get from hearing 'You Are The One'.

Recently, I've also been really into 'Rainy Night' by Junsu of DBSK. Junsu's voice has this amazing ability to translate the music into emotions. Even Jaejoong can't bring emotions through as well as Junsu. Another DBSK song I really love is 'Love In The Ice', one of their Japanese songs. The breathtaking harmony aside, the lyrics are really wonderful. And when we're talking about lyrics, I definitely can't leave out Gackt! 'Fragrance' has one of the most contemplative effects a song can bring with its lyrics.

Have you ever heard any songs that move you? Give the songs a try...they're really nice.

2008-03-30T14:44:00.002+08:00

I'm bored out of my mind...I hate boredom...I hooked onto my lappie...and surprisingly can't find anything interesting to do. Not even Youtube placated my boredom...geez, what's wrong? I don't feel like starting on my lab report, but researching for my MC100 is not turning up well. Is it so hard to find out how what kind of jobs a television production company offer??? ><

Mmm....what am I gonna do now? Go out? No money....work on the lab report? Don't wanna! ><

Maybe I should just sleep....or not. I'm not the napping type. If only I had a piano, then I could at least practice the piece Karmun taught me. Maybe I should just stare into thin air....yeah, feel like doing that...waste more time...=_=;;;

Long week....

2008-03-28T15:12:00.004+08:00

It's been a long week...Got sick..coughed like mad and lost my voice too. Saw the doctor yesterday, so now taking meds. 早く元気なりたい！

Rushed for an assignment overnight...as usual...as a result, slept at 5 am. I've been pushing these time limits farther and farther, which isn't a good sign really. Wanted to start researching for another assignment, but gave up after trying to look for journals...I really hate looking for info...

On a happier note, I've been watching anime again, after a long-ish hiatus. Fell back to Wallflower (Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge), watching a new series Spice and Wolf...and trying to catch Shounen Onmyouji which I've been wanting to watch. Hitman Reborn is on my list as well....

Tomorrow is the research colloqium..ああ~行きたくないよ~

PS: I took this...name test thingy? Got it from Regina's blog. I'm pretty impressed, it's quite accurate...about a lot of things. Try it here: http://www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp

What a weekend...

2008-03-16T18:07:00.006+08:00

What a weekend I had! First, the MC100 exam...hmm, I suppose I did ok...won't fail la...then after exam, supposed to head off to TS with Mika and Karmun. And when all of us were going down, the elevator got stuck between ground floor and first floor! XD We were all laughing like crazy, and Mika even said that it reminded her about this scene in Final Destination. I think we scared the poor guard who was stuck in there with us..LOL!

So the lift started moving like, 2 minutes later, no biggie...sent Jas to Central, then off to TS! XD Was recapping an interesting conversation to Mika and Karmun, then Mika and I went totally nuts over Wookie's "Oooohhhh.....umma~~~" scene in EHB *lmao*. Karmun stared at us as though we're aliens (maybe we are? XD)

Anyhoo...went to lunch at Summer Cafe (yes, food consists of 80% of my social life). After that, Mika went to pierce her ears...2 holes on the right lobe. ><

Wanted to buy the jacket I had my eyes on, but the shop was closed. >< But I ended up getting a pair of shoes/sneakers...it's greeeeeeeennnn.....and very the bling as Mika put it.

Then Sunday (today) was church of course...Bible study this week....but service seemed quieter for some reason. Maybe it's because some of the students had school holidays? Oh well....and I ended up staring at the bassist and one of the vocalists of the worship team. They looked really alike, so I asked some of my friends. Turned out they're brothers! Well, either way, they're both cute.......should I be saying this?

'Experiment' in college

2008-03-13T22:11:00.004+08:00

Haha, ran our 'experiment' today at college. Was surprised to see how all of us can dress so differently. I think a lot of people noticed, and I witnessed first-hand the power of appearances. Hahaha, Lisa noticed Gorgan because of his dressing today. He really did look good today.
ゴルガン君、もっとあれのような服を着ればいいんじゃない。

And people keep asking if I had a date...-_-;;; Should I be laughing or crying about it? I want my Eeteukie~~ Spazzing like crazy now....having to remain 'sane' for such a long time is taxing on my 'sanity'. Going to watch some EHB and space out. Tomorrow is going to be a full day MC100 marathon. Agh...

A little retrospection....

2008-03-10T23:28:00.005+08:00

This has to be one of the most inspiring sermons I have ever heard. I was so moved by the presence of God in His house the tears just wouldn't stop. Thank you Ps. Pat...thanks Ps. Kevin...Leonard who brought me there, Baldwin who drove us there...Thank you God, for bringing me back into Your arms. I can't illustrate how much my life has changed because of You, and I know that this is only the beginning.

Sow with a mission....to ask myself what I really want is one of the hardest questions I can ever ask myself. You see, a normal person can tell they want to be so-and-so, do this, do that in the future, but not me...I don't know what I want...or maybe I do, but I don't want to acknowledge that's what I want. It feels like a sin sometimes...desiring that is like ripping against the canvas I've carefully painted. Everything was a mess, a blotch, an emptiness I cannot identify and a fear I will not allow myself to have. But today...today, hearing him ask us...me...what do I want? What do I want? What do I want?

There are several things...some more obvious...others subtle. The audition...rather than just to pray for success in it...I want to know if I truly have the abilities needed for this field. I want to be in SM Entertainment. Being a top entertainer in Japan, Korea...all over Asia...like them. I want to be there with Mika and Jas. I can't stand being there alone...please let them be with me, please let us go there together. I need direction in life...that which I desire may not be that which I am destined to do...but I believe that if the Lord's will is with me, I will discover the direction.

The next thing is....a bit embarrassing, a bit painful to talk about. I want a particular person, but I think I'm probably dreaming. I mean, crushing over idols? I'm past the age for that...but such thoughts have crossed my mind, and when I thought about what I wanted today, his face flashed across my mind. It was shocking...I can't be serious about this...perhaps this is a result of a little loneliness. I would be lying if I say I don't yearn for another person's warmth and love. Right now, my friends have been wonderful, giving me lots of love...but occasionally I feel the bite of loneliness, fleeting, phantom...no more..

kokoro-goto

Review: Nem's Garden Moratorium

3 Anggerik of MGS '03

Workplace stuff

Life post XD

Education system going down the dumps

This is most amusing...

Into a New Decade

Exams are nuts

Net is REVIVED!!!

Working in Bukit Tinggi

Busy busy busy!

The other bday bash...

21st Birthday

After the Raya

Gamers, go watch Gamer

Pleasant surprise??

Start of new sem

Short update

Idle life...

Swell week...

Off!

Rant

Gah...

Random...stuff...

Individualistic vs. Collectivitistic?

Why do we like doing these silly quizzes so much?

Updatezzzz...

Inspirational

Bleh...

Dinner~~

Serial killer dreams??

LOLness

2PM - Hottest Time of the Day

Not feeling well...

New discovery!

-

*Interesting* V-day...

Gah...

And So, 2009 is Here...

Here, There, Everywhere

Good luck!

Little blessings

Imma BACK ON!

A little breather in between...

The JB Experience

Wonderful weekend with the H-Factor crew!

Why?

Unbelievable stories

Birthday surprises

IMU Cheerleading Finals + Money Issues

A fleeting thought...

Back in HELP...

Tag and the figure 8...

Cosfest Pt. 1

A Message to Two Friends + Snatch Thief Incident

Renewed and Refreshed

You know who you are...Thanks

Makeover? To do or not to do...

Mood Gone Haywire

Baz's Bday Bash

Of Books and Birthdays and the Brand New Semester

Another Tag XD

Another 'interesting' presentation from the Couple's gang...

Super funny day at church

L Change the World + My take on friendship

Back in Ipoh

Interesting day + Suju-M!?

Tagged!! LOL

I'm okay now..thankies <3

Something not so good happened...

The power of melody, rhythm and lyrics combined

Long week....

What a weekend...

'Experiment' in college

A little retrospection....

Interesting V-day...