It was...different. I haven't been involved in events since the charity concert in the Summit. Despite the fact that both were events, both included celebs and stuff...I could feel the acute difference. What was it about H-Factor that made my blood rush and my adrenaline flow? How was it that despite just having several hours of sleep, I still had the energy and enthusiasm to bounce around and smile to everyone? It was so strong, this feeling...something I couldn't place, something I couldn't identify. I decided that maybe I was just plain excited and left it at that.
But coming back to KL after Penang, it was as though something in me became loose. I was restless. I wasn't supposed to be able to go to JB. In fact, I was supposed to be attached to another event going on in KL. The Global Peace Festival was an event which I have been following up since the middle of the year. My interest was simple...to help and to learn. But no matter how many times I contacted the organisers...they didn't seem keen on letting me help on the actual day itself. I tried to be patient and agreed to their suggestions, which was to help out with other projects taking place before the event. I continued to ask, stating as clearly as possible without sounding rude that my interest was in the day itself, and that my area of strength was dealing with people, or ushering. They tried to get me to do persuasive marketing, which was definitely not my best skill.
So on Thursday, I gave the organisers another call. I asked again. This time, they suggested I join a 3-day workshop and community service. Look, it's not that I hate it or something, but I made it very clear that it was not what I wanted to do. I wasn't crazy over the workshop, I wanted experience! So I made up my mind, called my mum and by the grace of God, somehow got her permission to go to JB. Then I called sensei to tell her that I wouldn't be attending GPF. Next, I told Leo that I wanted to go to JB to help.
This was the feeling...the urge, the inexplicable desire to do something that I know had meaning. It was my choice and my decision, and God gave me the opportunity to try. I felt like this was it. So I went to JB with Leo and the rest. I met a wonderful girl called Kiko. When we met on the bus, the first thing we talked about was horoscopes! Haha, Mika, you might enjoy chatting with her. We went really in-depth about horoscope and personality...touching lightly on psychology and spirituality. I was amazed to learn that she's a Scorpio...and much later in the day, I found out that Hannah was a Scorpio too....I'm surrounded by Scorpions, seriously. I have no idea why, hahahaha!
The experience in JB was very different from Penang. During the island trip, it was crazy! Everything was rushed, hectic...I was wonderfully busy. Although I worked myself till I was worn out, the sense of fulfillment was nothing like I ever felt. I felt that I had finally done something I like. JB was more laidback...there was no crazy rush, not much preps needed since most of it had been done. But the workshop wasn't as widely attended as the Penang workshop. We were all anxious and worried, most were frustrated. I was at first, but gradually I came to rationalise the situation as something that was more circumstancial (external attribution, LOL). Penang and JB had different audiences, so as to speak. Perhaps we have not addressed the needs of the JB audience and therefore, unable to lure their interest. There were many other things which crossed my mind, but the thought that stayed with me the strongest was simply the idea that maybe we're just in the wrong place with the wrong crowd for the wrong thing. Maybe JB just was not as interested in the creative industry as Penangites. Maybe folks in JB were more business-oriented.
Perhaps because I rationalised it this way, I didn't feel really bad. While some might feel pretty upset, I was able to say, "Hey, this is a learning experience too. Be grateful that you had the chance to go through something like this with a team you're familiar with." I was able to be involved in a successful event, and a not-so-successful one. It's a valuable experience! For me, being able to learn from it is most important. Of course, I understand that this was an event, so the small attendance was really something that sets off the workshop. But if this workshop could touch the lives of those few who came, won't it be meaningful? Somehow, this thought lifted my mood, and I somehow managed to stay calm throughout the whole workshop. Although this time I was assigned to registration, I learnt something new, so it was good. I still managed to treat the participants genuinely, and that meant a lot to me. If I can't be genuine to people, then why even bother being here? It's the ATTITUDE that matters.
More than anything, the crew and the speakers really had the opportunity to bond. Most of us never dealt with the speakers. I bet none of us will forget that Saturday night any time soon...when all of us were in a bus on the way to dinner, listening to Pietro cracking jokes, and David getting teased. Personally, when Hannah sat down near Kiko and I and talked to us, I felt like she really did care. It wasn't the kind of conversation where people try to make small talk about various small things, but it was like she really did want to know how we're doing and all. I was sitting right behind David and Fellest and had the opportunity to chat with them a little. It was really interesting to listen to them talk, and I realised that no matter where we come from, what we do and how different we maybe, essentially we're all people. One and the same...human race.
Now that I'm back, I really feel that I've found something I like. Being someone who's not into boring, routine work, this has been an all-new, totally exciting experience for me. Thanks, Leo, for giving me an oportunity. Thanks to all the other crew members for being such wonderful people who didn't mind it when this little chatterbox pestered you, be it for instructions or for my own social needs. Thanks to David and Pietro for providing us with plenty of laughter, thanks to Serena C for that little conversation in the restroom XD. Thanks Reymee, for being such a sweet person, thanks Hans and Harith, though I never made conversation, but you guys really made the workshop roll. Thanks Joey, for being so friendly and warm to us, thanks Fellest, for being such a nice, charming guy. And saving the best for the last, a huge ありがとう to Hannah, for making me feel like I did make a difference.
I might not be able to join you guys in KK (believe me, I really, really want to...) but my prayers go with you as you guys work your magic in KK (no pun intended XD). May all the preparations go smoothly, the participants interested and interactive, may all of you impact their lives, and have fun while doing that. Most of all, I pray that all of you will have a safe journey there, and a safe journey back. Amen!
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