Aah....it's 2.47a.m. right now, and I'm just staring blankly at my laptop... I really should sleep. My eyelids are dropping slowly, but I can't sleep yet...I get the feeling I haven't done something yet. Today was really tired for some reason. Was it because I haven't been getting enough sleep? Was it because I have a lot on my mind?
Today was last lecture for a subject that has been endeared to us just by the sole existence of the lecturer. Ah, I'm now thinking, "So there really are times when you go for classes just for the sake of the lecturer." I'm that kind of student. But then again, I don't like skipping classes so I'm not the best person to comment about this. Oh, there was that Indian wedding. Interestting, but too long for a person like me, who can't really sit still. It's really something though...
Jae baby, I'm having a fit laughing at your funky antics in them variety shows...I sometimes wish you weren't that charming. Oh wait...I sometimes wish I'm not so infatuated and fangirly over you. But really, as a person, you really uphold some value to me, and I find that really admirable and attractive.
Ah, I think at times I just want to be like some other people. Then maybe I wouldn't have such misgivings about myself? But the thing is I am who I am, and I will always be, and want to be, who I am. I'm fully capable of acting in a different way, and I wonder if people think I'm strange? Despite showing most of myself to certain people, I'm surprised that they don't seem to know me well. Ah, have you never thought I would act in a certain way? Did you think that based on my outer appearance? Strange, how the more you try to portray yourself fully, the less people can see who you are. Or maybe they don't find the need to? Or am I unconsciously burying parts of myself...you know, hide it from everyone. Strange, but I guess it's human.
I know...I'm just randomly blabbing out stuff right now...I think it's the fact that it's 3a.m. now. Maybe I should go to sleep after this...
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Individualistic vs. Collectivitistic?
Was listening to Hannah's "Making the Difference" when I was struck by a little thought.
We're always talking about individualistic and collectivistic cultures, and as Asians (or more precisely, Malaysians) we're proud of the fact that we're from a culture that cares and shares. We perceive problems from the so called Western-aka-individualistic culture as stemming from the fact that they always think of the individual first.
But is it really so bad to be a little individualistic? Not that I'm trying to be negative, but I think any human being would think of their own well-being first. It seems to be a built-in mechanism, but I'm not saying it's a bad thing. If you can't take care of yourself, how can you take care of others? The individualists have an amazing ability to advance themselves, because they're always concerned about how they do, how they can be better, how to improve....and I think that level of assertiveness and self-determination can become very useful.
Being a collectivist means we want to make sure our community gets the best, even if it means sacrificing our own needs. Again, it's not bad at all; in fact, it's a wonderful trait. But being a collectivist also means not standing out...to be another brick in the wall. It also means not being willing to stand up against those whom we call authority, who so-called "guards" our community's needs. However, being a collectivist also means we can accept that there are always extenuating circumstances for other people's intentions...meaning we are far more willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt, while an individualist would be quick to say that the entire responsibility rests with the person.
Right now, the world is at a stage where having the assertiveness of an individualist becomes an advantage. It sells, you see, and assertiveness helps someone avoid getting stepped all over. But at the same time, people are recognising the importance of caring for the needs of others. They are acknowledging the value of building close, supportive relationships and deferring to catering to the needs of someone other than themselves.
After all, the human being has some very unique needs. We need to belong to a group, and we are willing to work to care for the needs of our groups. We want to exemplify ourselves as a member of such a group and therefore, conform to the values and beliefs, which essentially means branding a sort of label on ourselves. But at the same time, we want to be recognised as being different. We want to stand out as having a personality of our own, of being uniquely ourselves in such a way there's not another person like our own self in the world. In essence, we are seeking a balance between being similar and being different. And such a cry is rising in many cultures, as people strive to find the right balance.
So be an individualist with a collectivist's heart, or a collectivist with an individualist's spirit!
We're always talking about individualistic and collectivistic cultures, and as Asians (or more precisely, Malaysians) we're proud of the fact that we're from a culture that cares and shares. We perceive problems from the so called Western-aka-individualistic culture as stemming from the fact that they always think of the individual first.
But is it really so bad to be a little individualistic? Not that I'm trying to be negative, but I think any human being would think of their own well-being first. It seems to be a built-in mechanism, but I'm not saying it's a bad thing. If you can't take care of yourself, how can you take care of others? The individualists have an amazing ability to advance themselves, because they're always concerned about how they do, how they can be better, how to improve....and I think that level of assertiveness and self-determination can become very useful.
Being a collectivist means we want to make sure our community gets the best, even if it means sacrificing our own needs. Again, it's not bad at all; in fact, it's a wonderful trait. But being a collectivist also means not standing out...to be another brick in the wall. It also means not being willing to stand up against those whom we call authority, who so-called "guards" our community's needs. However, being a collectivist also means we can accept that there are always extenuating circumstances for other people's intentions...meaning we are far more willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt, while an individualist would be quick to say that the entire responsibility rests with the person.
Right now, the world is at a stage where having the assertiveness of an individualist becomes an advantage. It sells, you see, and assertiveness helps someone avoid getting stepped all over. But at the same time, people are recognising the importance of caring for the needs of others. They are acknowledging the value of building close, supportive relationships and deferring to catering to the needs of someone other than themselves.
After all, the human being has some very unique needs. We need to belong to a group, and we are willing to work to care for the needs of our groups. We want to exemplify ourselves as a member of such a group and therefore, conform to the values and beliefs, which essentially means branding a sort of label on ourselves. But at the same time, we want to be recognised as being different. We want to stand out as having a personality of our own, of being uniquely ourselves in such a way there's not another person like our own self in the world. In essence, we are seeking a balance between being similar and being different. And such a cry is rising in many cultures, as people strive to find the right balance.
So be an individualist with a collectivist's heart, or a collectivist with an individualist's spirit!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Why do we like doing these silly quizzes so much?
Got this quiz thingy from Jas' blog, and the results are the same as hers.
"You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high."
Given my nature, I would expect this to be partly true. I really am sort of conservative about romantic relationships. Having grown up in a girls' school, I'm no stranger to witnessing flings, crushes and puppy love. I have friends who changed boyfriends so frequently I doubt they were in love in the first place. Really, I don't think I can date someone just for the sake of dating.
Maybe that's why I choose to remain...invisible on the radar, to borrow a friend's words. I'm the type that'll fall right in when I'm in a relationship, so in a way, I guess I'm really serious about it. Some people say it's a killjoy and that it's not realistic, that it's just dating, not choosing a life partner. Oh, really now? Maybe it's my beliefs, or my experience that makes me feel this way, but there's no point rushing, you know...I'll be lying if I say I don't want to be romantically involved, but I don't want to get hurt either. It's not like there's any guy after me, after all (Really, sometimes you wonder if guys ever look past appearances...) so I'm not rushing.
So, yeah, I'm unrealistic. Maybe that's why I daydream about Jae. XD He's unreachable, yes, but that's precisely why it's safe, coz I know it's not something possible. Hey, a girl can dream right? XD
"You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high."
Given my nature, I would expect this to be partly true. I really am sort of conservative about romantic relationships. Having grown up in a girls' school, I'm no stranger to witnessing flings, crushes and puppy love. I have friends who changed boyfriends so frequently I doubt they were in love in the first place. Really, I don't think I can date someone just for the sake of dating.
Maybe that's why I choose to remain...invisible on the radar, to borrow a friend's words. I'm the type that'll fall right in when I'm in a relationship, so in a way, I guess I'm really serious about it. Some people say it's a killjoy and that it's not realistic, that it's just dating, not choosing a life partner. Oh, really now? Maybe it's my beliefs, or my experience that makes me feel this way, but there's no point rushing, you know...I'll be lying if I say I don't want to be romantically involved, but I don't want to get hurt either. It's not like there's any guy after me, after all (Really, sometimes you wonder if guys ever look past appearances...) so I'm not rushing.
So, yeah, I'm unrealistic. Maybe that's why I daydream about Jae. XD He's unreachable, yes, but that's precisely why it's safe, coz I know it's not something possible. Hey, a girl can dream right? XD
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Updatezzzz...
Because someone said I never update my blog....here I am, lol. I know, really lame reason to update, but really, my life isn't so exciting that there's anything I wanna say.
Basically it's been nothing but study nowadays. That worries me, because it's a sign that I have no life, hahaha... But some interesting things have happened over the weekend. We'll start with the boring one. I'll be leading a team in organising an educational game exhibition under the department. When I say team, I mean 5 of us, but hey...everything starts small yeah? Looking at the expectations a good sir is having, I know I'm in for a lot of work. But I'm glad, coz it's a real opportunity to expand my horizon. Like my dear friend said, be an opportunist!
Done with the drab and on with the drama. My sister gave all of us a mighty shock when she became unreachable for a day. My parents have been trying to contact her, and she didn't reply any of the messages nor answered any calls. That was in the morning. Towards the evening, my brother and I started calling and indeed, she wasn't picking up! My parents were up in KL for an event, and by the time it has ended, it was 10+ at night and still no replies. *cue imminent panic*
In a fervent effort to reach her, I called up a friend in Ipoh to ask her to check online. Lo and behold, she wasn't online!! FYI, my sister is always online, unless she is physically parted from her darling laptop. And so mayhem ensued, eliciting (in my case) calls to friends, vague acquaintances, even total strangers, (in my mum's case) friends with kids studying at Kampar, friends who lived somewhere near Kampar while my brother tried time and time again to call her phone. It wasn't that the call didn't get through, but she wasn't picking up. At that point, any well-meaning mum will start imagining things, and really...it's not pleasant. It was a public holiday the next day, so many of her friends had gone back to their hometowns. My mum was contemplating driving back to Kampar to check on her, and my dad was so distracted he ran a red light and got the police on our tail (no, seriously).
At last, upon reaching my place (it was already 12+, btw) mum's friend has managed to get hold of someone who can help us go check on my sister. Only thing is, he lives 30 mins away, and the relationship between that friend and this person is....not at its best. And so, the person drove there, arrived at my sister's place and called for her. And guess what? My genius sister was at home! Turned out she forgot to turn the silent mode off, and her phone does not vibrate when silent. On top of lousy connections and the fact the phone was on the floor, she was playing online games and so did not go online on MSN or whatever.
.............What could I say? We were mighty relieved, but we were royally pissed too. She probably took several years off our lives (God forbid), had half the Ipoh and Kampar population wondering and worrying for her, and probably a quarter of KL too. No surprise, of course, the moment she got online, we bombarded her. Well, I think it's partly her fault, and partly her phone's fault. It needs to retire soon. But she was sorry, so I guess one has to just accept that....sisters after all.
Well, that's all for updates. Maybe I'll come again soon, if anything interesting happens.
PS: To the someone who wonders why I don't update, I did, just not on this blog.
Basically it's been nothing but study nowadays. That worries me, because it's a sign that I have no life, hahaha... But some interesting things have happened over the weekend. We'll start with the boring one. I'll be leading a team in organising an educational game exhibition under the department. When I say team, I mean 5 of us, but hey...everything starts small yeah? Looking at the expectations a good sir is having, I know I'm in for a lot of work. But I'm glad, coz it's a real opportunity to expand my horizon. Like my dear friend said, be an opportunist!
Done with the drab and on with the drama. My sister gave all of us a mighty shock when she became unreachable for a day. My parents have been trying to contact her, and she didn't reply any of the messages nor answered any calls. That was in the morning. Towards the evening, my brother and I started calling and indeed, she wasn't picking up! My parents were up in KL for an event, and by the time it has ended, it was 10+ at night and still no replies. *cue imminent panic*
In a fervent effort to reach her, I called up a friend in Ipoh to ask her to check online. Lo and behold, she wasn't online!! FYI, my sister is always online, unless she is physically parted from her darling laptop. And so mayhem ensued, eliciting (in my case) calls to friends, vague acquaintances, even total strangers, (in my mum's case) friends with kids studying at Kampar, friends who lived somewhere near Kampar while my brother tried time and time again to call her phone. It wasn't that the call didn't get through, but she wasn't picking up. At that point, any well-meaning mum will start imagining things, and really...it's not pleasant. It was a public holiday the next day, so many of her friends had gone back to their hometowns. My mum was contemplating driving back to Kampar to check on her, and my dad was so distracted he ran a red light and got the police on our tail (no, seriously).
At last, upon reaching my place (it was already 12+, btw) mum's friend has managed to get hold of someone who can help us go check on my sister. Only thing is, he lives 30 mins away, and the relationship between that friend and this person is....not at its best. And so, the person drove there, arrived at my sister's place and called for her. And guess what? My genius sister was at home! Turned out she forgot to turn the silent mode off, and her phone does not vibrate when silent. On top of lousy connections and the fact the phone was on the floor, she was playing online games and so did not go online on MSN or whatever.
.............What could I say? We were mighty relieved, but we were royally pissed too. She probably took several years off our lives (God forbid), had half the Ipoh and Kampar population wondering and worrying for her, and probably a quarter of KL too. No surprise, of course, the moment she got online, we bombarded her. Well, I think it's partly her fault, and partly her phone's fault. It needs to retire soon. But she was sorry, so I guess one has to just accept that....sisters after all.
Well, that's all for updates. Maybe I'll come again soon, if anything interesting happens.
PS: To the someone who wonders why I don't update, I did, just not on this blog.
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