This is most amusing...

The fact that I can still write in here with a fair coherence is proof that I have not gone nuts....yet. But I have made quite a few mistakes in my haste to type, contracted from all the speedy typing I did for my thesis proposal. Surely a sign of my fraying nerves... Just to soothe them, I have allowed myself to slip back into the indulgence of this semi-Reformation civility in conversations, which I so rarely use.

Indeed, speaking like this in any normal conversation will surely warrant unwanted suppositions about my nature (possibly high-strung) or even elicit comments most unfair (likely ridicule). Don't mind me in my hour of self-absorption, which I assure you, doesn not happen very often. But it is necessary, I believe, to retain that very fine balance between work-torn insanity and my current...hum..unusual state. After all, what is a student of the fragile mechanism we call the mind to do but impose some form of strange (and hardly useful) defense mechanism, just to illuminate her eccentricity? So do indulge this silly little conversation, and let me be quite strange.

Working in Bukit Tinggi

Ah, had a hectic time back up in on Bukit Tinggi helping out with training. But it was fun! Started off with my lecturer asking if I was interested in becoming a facilitator for a training job. I said sure and got some details from him. Turned out the company doing the training was his wife's. Training was supposed to be on Friday, but Christine wanted to leave on Thursday evening to check out the place. So, after asking leave of several lecturers for missing class...up we went to Bukit Tinggi.

Since I've been there several times, I didn't feel as nervous as I would have expected. I know the place we're staying at, and I know the place where training was to be held. At least I won't get lost, right? First thing we did was went up to Colmar, where the training hall was. Peggy and I had been put in charge of the treasure hunt, so we went around the village looking for good spots. After that it was work all the way.

Christine has high expectations from us, and we got a lot of feedback too. It was pretty corporate to me, with all our ideas being questioned for suitability and practicality. But we managed to work out the ideas somehow and spend the rest of the night working on the preps for the treasure hunt, and getting briefed about all the other activities we'll be doing. By the time Peggy and I went to sleep, the birds just woke up. It was what, 6.30 am? And we had to wake up at 7.15 too....

But it was all right...I've had my fair share of pulling close all-nighters and Peggy isn't weak on her knees either. We got the day started setting up the hall, and greeting the clients. Then it was a matter of just going through with our itenary...helping out where we were supposed to. There were 38 participants, so it wasn't too bad. Then it after the breaks and all, it was time for the treasure hunt set-up. Due to some miscommunication, we had to check out of the hotel on that day itself (don't ask me, I have no idea what went on) so while Peggy went with my lecturer to pack up, I was running around the place sticking clues.

When it finally started, I was nervous as hell, hoping things would go well. I had been appointed runner, meaning I had to run all over the place taking pictures of groups while solving puzzles, deciphering clues and at the same time, troubleshooting. I was literally running back and forth Colmar to see what's happening at the stations, snapping pictures of the groups and looked out for the lost teams. Quite a few of them misinterpreted clues and ended up in a completely differnt place, and some even ended up in the wrong stations and missing out certain vital pieces of the puzzle. It took all I had to give them hints without telling them the answer. I think, I spent about 7 hours on my feet, and 3 of those running. I must have ran around the length of the village at least 10 times.

When it was over, they went back for debriefing, we took of the stuff we stuck around town. The clients invited us to their dinner, but since we have no room to stay in, and it would probably end late, we declined and went straight to packing. They sent us home after dinner lol.

This being my first time being part of a training job, I think it was challenging since it was a different environment. The elements of event managament were there, so I wasn't out of place, but all the previous jobs I've done where either for charity or workshops. The agenda was normally decided beforehand and all I did was help out. In this case, it felt a lot more involving since we had to plan as well, which was challenging. But I learnt a lot from the experience and had a lot of fun doing this. Overall, it was a valuable experience. I hope next time, we can do this again with a bigger team.

Gamers, go watch Gamer

SERIOUSLY.

**SPOILER ALERT**
In the future, gaming has revolutionized into a form of virtual reality in reality. Developed by a man named Ken Castle, it started off with a life-simulation game called Society. It pretty much mirrors Second Life and the Sims. Here, a player can control another human being, much like how we control Sims, using them to interact and do whatever in Society...and I really do mean whatever. There are also people who 'work' in Society, people who get paid for being controlled.

A new game, featuring this same model of control, called 'Slayers' was then developed. In Slayers, players control real-life convicts, all who have a death sentence on their heads. I haven't played any war games before, but Slayers is your typical shoot-and-survive game. Convicts are given the chance to go free...if they can survive 30 sessions. And in Slayers, the man closest to being the first to reach that is Kable (real name Tillman). A big part of the movie shows him running around, blowing the brains out of other players in the game, but there's a hint of conspiracy and rebellion through it. On top of it, he's got a wife who is a controlled character in Society and a daughter adopted by someone else. Tillman escapes the system and exacts revenge....or justice, however you wanna see it.

**SPOILER ALERT END**

At first glance, Gamer might look like your run-of-the-mill action movie, complete with fast-paced gun action and pretty gross carnage. It looks brainless, but there is an underlined issue of gaming violence and what it does to people. If you're a psych student like me, you know desensitization and dehumanization.

You can watch it for the bloody galore of it all, but you can also think of the implications the movie has about media violence. Gamer gives us a look at how it's like for the person playing the convict and the convict playing the game. For Tillman, the pain, deaths and violence are very, very real. He carries a psychological burden of having to go into the battlefield...not knowing how many people he would have to kill, not knowing when he would be killed. Yet, his player (a 17-year-old rich brat, Simon) treated the game exactly as it was...a game.

The truth is, no one cared who dies in the game. Blood, gore, violence....the adrenaline rush, that's what drives the population wild every time they watch a live session of Slayers. And to them, Kable is like a shipped hero of that game. So real people died on the other side of the screen...so what, they were criminals waiting to die anyway. That's what's being portrayed in the movie...and it reminds me how human beings remain the cruellest creatures on earth.

Gamer is not a movie for you if you can't stand seeing body parts flying off, or blood spattered all over the place. It's also not for you if you have issues with sexual scenes, since a few players of Society look like their sole purpose in the game is to order their avvies (for the lack of better words) to get laid and watch. Granted, they never did get there, but personally, I found the controller of Tillman's wife really gross.

That aside, it makes for a pretty thoughtful watch...for an action movie anyway.

Pleasant surprise??

I is shocked...but not unpleasantly. XD Nuff said.

Short update

Yeah yeah...I know...I can hear the "You haven't been updating vibes" coming from several directions. Haha, I know it's been a trend. The moment I go back home, I'll MIA for as long as it takes for the holiday to be over.

Anyhow, been cutting down on the drive-outs due to the H1N1 threat. Watched GI Joe, and wanting to watch it again, but yeah...now the advice is don't go to places with big crowds so yeah...no movies for a while.

No plans as of yet, so I've been checking out the K-entertainment world...hearing about how JaeChunSu filing the lawsuit makes me feel a little sad. It's true that Korea is perhaps one of the few rare countries which have artistes bonded with long contracts. In Japan, most artistes have to renew their contracts often, but that's because they're not that many companies but lots of artistes. It's really sad for the boys...having to work hard always, and yet not being able to have a breather. These "slave contracts" are really tough deals. And to think that it's one of the biggest groups in Asia to make us aware of these contracts.... I know it's a business for these talent management companies, but really...unlike products, these idols are people. They have needs of their own too. It's not like you can just squeeze all the profit you can out of them while they can still wring out the juices. I think it's big time the K-entertainment industry see some changes in the way they can make better contracts which can benefit both parties.

Idle life...

Meh....should I say I have no life, or this is my way of life?


Nah...this is typical Ipoh life.

Lazing around. Since I haven't picked myself up to send my beloved PS2 to repairs (coz the dude said he can't tell what's wrong...need a week to diagnose and maybe a week to fix. On top of that, dunno if it's worth fixing.) I've been told it's better to just get a new one, but my mum is saying that if repairs cost half the price of a new machine, we should just fix it. So yeah...she had to say that after I called her and she said to come back from the shop. It's not exactly within my neighbourhood okay?

So, no PS2. What's a bored girl to do? Well, thank goodness for the PS1 emulator. Replaying Tactics and Legend of Dragoon on the desktop now. And by the sound of it, Sam has good news and will come home bearing a great treasure (in the form of FF9) next week. Finally...after goodness knows how many months of downloading. I don't care what other gamers say, FF9 beats FF8 any time of the day for me. So, yesh, that's one thing to look forward to.

I suspect with all these gaming and of course, feasting on lovely food, I probably grew more portly than I'd like to imagine, but hmm...maybe not too. I have a screwed sense of telling size, so yeah, whatever.


Yup...this is the typical Ipoh life. More or less, equivalent to that of a mild case of couch potato and gourmet traveller rolled in one. Now, if you'll excuse me...I'm off to hunt for another book to reread.

PS: I want to go for HP 2nd round...and I'm waiting for GI Joe...

Off!

Haa....finally I can breathe a sigh of relief and say "It's finally over!"

Yep, finals are finally over...and we're officially going to be year 3 students next sem. But right how I have some very mixed feelings about that last day. It kinda sucks when you're taking an extra paper, especially if your friends finished early. It's like...missing out on a celebration, yeah? To be honest, after I did my last and final paper, most of friends have already gone off to celebrate their merdeka lol, Just a bit, for a very short moment, I felt a little lonely. But it wasn't all bad. At least, I got to watch Transformers and eat dinner with my aunt.

Then the next thing...I just found out that there's another subject that we have to take, albeit it;s offered free. That's throwing everything off balance...coz this means to finish in a year, I'll have to do my year 5-5-3...which is crazy. I'm not saying it's impossible, but seriously, five subjects in a sem? And for 2 sems in a row? On top of that, I have to think about my thesis too! I'm not exactly keen on killing myself, so this calls for replanning. But of course, this means I have to talk to all parties who are sponsoring my education, haih...

Guess I shouldn't worry about it. I think I'm a little down coz I'm missing family very very much right now. Just till Sat, and I'll be truly home free. Going to get some quick fix comfort *runs off to spazz about Jae*

Random...stuff...

Aah....it's 2.47a.m. right now, and I'm just staring blankly at my laptop... I really should sleep. My eyelids are dropping slowly, but I can't sleep yet...I get the feeling I haven't done something yet. Today was really tired for some reason. Was it because I haven't been getting enough sleep? Was it because I have a lot on my mind?

Today was last lecture for a subject that has been endeared to us just by the sole existence of the lecturer. Ah, I'm now thinking, "So there really are times when you go for classes just for the sake of the lecturer." I'm that kind of student. But then again, I don't like skipping classes so I'm not the best person to comment about this. Oh, there was that Indian wedding. Interestting, but too long for a person like me, who can't really sit still. It's really something though...

Jae baby, I'm having a fit laughing at your funky antics in them variety shows...I sometimes wish you weren't that charming. Oh wait...I sometimes wish I'm not so infatuated and fangirly over you. But really, as a person, you really uphold some value to me, and I find that really admirable and attractive.

Ah, I think at times I just want to be like some other people. Then maybe I wouldn't have such misgivings about myself? But the thing is I am who I am, and I will always be, and want to be, who I am. I'm fully capable of acting in a different way, and I wonder if people think I'm strange? Despite showing most of myself to certain people, I'm surprised that they don't seem to know me well. Ah, have you never thought I would act in a certain way? Did you think that based on my outer appearance? Strange, how the more you try to portray yourself fully, the less people can see who you are. Or maybe they don't find the need to? Or am I unconsciously burying parts of myself...you know, hide it from everyone. Strange, but I guess it's human.

I know...I'm just randomly blabbing out stuff right now...I think it's the fact that it's 3a.m. now. Maybe I should go to sleep after this...

Individualistic vs. Collectivitistic?

Was listening to Hannah's "Making the Difference" when I was struck by a little thought.

We're always talking about individualistic and collectivistic cultures, and as Asians (or more precisely, Malaysians) we're proud of the fact that we're from a culture that cares and shares. We perceive problems from the so called Western-aka-individualistic culture as stemming from the fact that they always think of the individual first.

But is it really so bad to be a little individualistic? Not that I'm trying to be negative, but I think any human being would think of their own well-being first. It seems to be a built-in mechanism, but I'm not saying it's a bad thing. If you can't take care of yourself, how can you take care of others? The individualists have an amazing ability to advance themselves, because they're always concerned about how they do, how they can be better, how to improve....and I think that level of assertiveness and self-determination can become very useful.

Being a collectivist means we want to make sure our community gets the best, even if it means sacrificing our own needs. Again, it's not bad at all; in fact, it's a wonderful trait. But being a collectivist also means not standing out...to be another brick in the wall. It also means not being willing to stand up against those whom we call authority, who so-called "guards" our community's needs. However, being a collectivist also means we can accept that there are always extenuating circumstances for other people's intentions...meaning we are far more willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt, while an individualist would be quick to say that the entire responsibility rests with the person.

Right now, the world is at a stage where having the assertiveness of an individualist becomes an advantage. It sells, you see, and assertiveness helps someone avoid getting stepped all over. But at the same time, people are recognising the importance of caring for the needs of others. They are acknowledging the value of building close, supportive relationships and deferring to catering to the needs of someone other than themselves.

After all, the human being has some very unique needs. We need to belong to a group, and we are willing to work to care for the needs of our groups. We want to exemplify ourselves as a member of such a group and therefore, conform to the values and beliefs, which essentially means branding a sort of label on ourselves. But at the same time, we want to be recognised as being different. We want to stand out as having a personality of our own, of being uniquely ourselves in such a way there's not another person like our own self in the world. In essence, we are seeking a balance between being similar and being different. And such a cry is rising in many cultures, as people strive to find the right balance.

So be an individualist with a collectivist's heart, or a collectivist with an individualist's spirit!

Why do we like doing these silly quizzes so much?

Got this quiz thingy from Jas' blog, and the results are the same as hers.

"You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high."

Given my nature, I would expect this to be partly true. I really am sort of conservative about romantic relationships. Having grown up in a girls' school, I'm no stranger to witnessing flings, crushes and puppy love. I have friends who changed boyfriends so frequently I doubt they were in love in the first place. Really, I don't think I can date someone just for the sake of dating.

Maybe that's why I choose to remain...invisible on the radar, to borrow a friend's words. I'm the type that'll fall right in when I'm in a relationship, so in a way, I guess I'm really serious about it. Some people say it's a killjoy and that it's not realistic, that it's just dating, not choosing a life partner. Oh, really now? Maybe it's my beliefs, or my experience that makes me feel this way, but there's no point rushing, you know...I'll be lying if I say I don't want to be romantically involved, but I don't want to get hurt either. It's not like there's any guy after me, after all (Really, sometimes you wonder if guys ever look past appearances...) so I'm not rushing.

So, yeah, I'm unrealistic. Maybe that's why I daydream about Jae. XD He's unreachable, yes, but that's precisely why it's safe, coz I know it's not something possible. Hey, a girl can dream right? XD

Inspirational

A mistake is only a mistake if you make it twice.

:)

Gah...

Oh dear Lord, are you playing a trick on me? Of all days, today too! >< What am I to make of this weird turn of events?

And So, 2009 is Here...

Time flies by so quickly. As one reflects on the year, it becomes clear that there are things one wished one has done, and silly mistakes one wished one has not committed. Yet, as time flows without stopping....forward, unto the shapeless future ahead, there is nothing but reflection, for no change can be brought unto a decision that has already been executed.

Precisely because of the fact that we can't change the past, we need to reflect. It has been a quiet transition into the new year...quietly slipping as the seconds dripped by, and without really realising, nor really caring, 2008 came to an end, and 2009 begins. It has become less imminent, the sense of time...at least, for now it matters not to me what time of the day or what day of the week it is. But soon, I shall have to return to the world where time moves at a pace where things flash by, a world where time is a commidity, scarce as it is.

Life moved sluggishly for me this past week, yet the time disappears quickly without my realisation. As 2008 came to a close, the year...long, inconsistent, full of events...yet strangely with not much memory of it. Strange, the concept of time is such that one year is not long, yet it seems to me so far away that I wonder if it was not a few years ago... Stranger still my inability to remember most part of the year...or perhaps, life was not of such significance till now...at least, not it my memory.

The new year has come, signalling the advent of a decade. And as I prepare to fall back into life as a student, I wonder....how will I be changed by this year?

Little blessings

Blessings come in all shapes and sizes....so I came to realise yesterday.

It was colloquium...my maiden Colloquium presentation. For once, I finally understand how it feels like to be the one talking up there instead of listening to all the mind-boggling terms. But perhaps it is because of this knowledge that "Hello? Me first-year, me no understand" that I feel prepared for all the possible questions. (Like a question by an actual 1st year asking me what's counterbalancing....launched into PSY105 tutor mode...XD) Both presentations went well (at least, I felt like I gave it my best shot) and the later chairing sessions went on okay too. Ms. Winnee was right, I can always find questions to ask...to all whose sessions I've chaired or attended, hope I didn't scare you too badly. I don't ask for the sake of asking, just so you know. But the main point here lies in a few things....

Blessing #1: Ai Rene 'belanja' me lunch. This really makes me feel really blessed, coz I've hit total rock bottom financially. I came for Colloquium prepared to skip lunch and (hopefully) survive till 6 something when I reach home. But she offered to pay for my lunch, so felt blessed. Thanks, neon! XD

Blessing #2: I won one of the Best Speaker Awards! I admit that I hoped very much to get it, but I didn't actually thought I would. Thanks to the people who made me stay till 6!

Blessing #3: It was a Saturday...no bus = have to walk all the way home. Not exactly something I was looking forward to since I brought my laptop + I was in heels. I was anticipating (with no small amount of dread) the walk home, when Sebastian offered to fetch me home. Thanks!

To some people, it might seem like really small things. But for me, these things came when I was in need, so really felt blessed in a way. I don't know if it's because it's Arise & Build, or I was just being oversensitive lately, but really, I'm very grateful to all those little blessings I've been receiving...

Like all those people who've graciously lent me their laptops when I needed to finish my assignments...

Like every person who've sat down to listen to my worries...

Like those times when I needed transportation to CG and church, and despite how tired you were, you still fetched me....to this person, thanks lots...

Many times, we expect large, tangible blessings, but blessings can be something as simple as having people around you. And when you hit a rut, look at it again, and you might just find a blessing in it. Today was first fruits weekend...all I have in my wallet was my first fruits offering, which I didn't allow myself to spend because it belonged to God. I don't have anymore cash, and there's still another week before my allowance comes in. But I shall persevere and have faith in the Lord who is my Provider! This season is an opportunity to increase in faith, and I'm sure that even as I continue to give, He will bless me spiritually.

And a special thanks to Lynnette...I really didn't plan to talk about that topic...but somehow I found myself able to open up to you and confessed in you my insecurities. Thanks for listening.

Lastly, just to show you....

A Borders gift card! The prize from Colloquium~

Look! Twins!! Why do I end up with orange stuff? I'm not Naruto...

The JB Experience

This weekend was in JB with the rest of the H-Factor crew for the workshop. It's amazing, really, how just one workshop can impact your life. I may not be a participant, but ever since I came back from the Penang workshop, I feel that something inside me has changed. Perhaps it was the hustle and bustle around the job, or maybe the feeling of being able to travel to another place, or maybe even the fact that one could work with local celebrities...I don't know the actual reason, but it sparked a fire within me.

It was...different. I haven't been involved in events since the charity concert in the Summit. Despite the fact that both were events, both included celebs and stuff...I could feel the acute difference. What was it about H-Factor that made my blood rush and my adrenaline flow? How was it that despite just having several hours of sleep, I still had the energy and enthusiasm to bounce around and smile to everyone? It was so strong, this feeling...something I couldn't place, something I couldn't identify. I decided that maybe I was just plain excited and left it at that.

But coming back to KL after Penang, it was as though something in me became loose. I was restless. I wasn't supposed to be able to go to JB. In fact, I was supposed to be attached to another event going on in KL. The Global Peace Festival was an event which I have been following up since the middle of the year. My interest was simple...to help and to learn. But no matter how many times I contacted the organisers...they didn't seem keen on letting me help on the actual day itself. I tried to be patient and agreed to their suggestions, which was to help out with other projects taking place before the event. I continued to ask, stating as clearly as possible without sounding rude that my interest was in the day itself, and that my area of strength was dealing with people, or ushering. They tried to get me to do persuasive marketing, which was definitely not my best skill.

So on Thursday, I gave the organisers another call. I asked again. This time, they suggested I join a 3-day workshop and community service. Look, it's not that I hate it or something, but I made it very clear that it was not what I wanted to do. I wasn't crazy over the workshop, I wanted experience! So I made up my mind, called my mum and by the grace of God, somehow got her permission to go to JB. Then I called sensei to tell her that I wouldn't be attending GPF. Next, I told Leo that I wanted to go to JB to help.

This was the feeling...the urge, the inexplicable desire to do something that I know had meaning. It was my choice and my decision, and God gave me the opportunity to try. I felt like this was it. So I went to JB with Leo and the rest. I met a wonderful girl called Kiko. When we met on the bus, the first thing we talked about was horoscopes! Haha, Mika, you might enjoy chatting with her. We went really in-depth about horoscope and personality...touching lightly on psychology and spirituality. I was amazed to learn that she's a Scorpio...and much later in the day, I found out that Hannah was a Scorpio too....I'm surrounded by Scorpions, seriously. I have no idea why, hahahaha!

The experience in JB was very different from Penang. During the island trip, it was crazy! Everything was rushed, hectic...I was wonderfully busy. Although I worked myself till I was worn out, the sense of fulfillment was nothing like I ever felt. I felt that I had finally done something I like. JB was more laidback...there was no crazy rush, not much preps needed since most of it had been done. But the workshop wasn't as widely attended as the Penang workshop. We were all anxious and worried, most were frustrated. I was at first, but gradually I came to rationalise the situation as something that was more circumstancial (external attribution, LOL). Penang and JB had different audiences, so as to speak. Perhaps we have not addressed the needs of the JB audience and therefore, unable to lure their interest. There were many other things which crossed my mind, but the thought that stayed with me the strongest was simply the idea that maybe we're just in the wrong place with the wrong crowd for the wrong thing. Maybe JB just was not as interested in the creative industry as Penangites. Maybe folks in JB were more business-oriented.

Perhaps because I rationalised it this way, I didn't feel really bad. While some might feel pretty upset, I was able to say, "Hey, this is a learning experience too. Be grateful that you had the chance to go through something like this with a team you're familiar with." I was able to be involved in a successful event, and a not-so-successful one. It's a valuable experience! For me, being able to learn from it is most important. Of course, I understand that this was an event, so the small attendance was really something that sets off the workshop. But if this workshop could touch the lives of those few who came, won't it be meaningful? Somehow, this thought lifted my mood, and I somehow managed to stay calm throughout the whole workshop. Although this time I was assigned to registration, I learnt something new, so it was good. I still managed to treat the participants genuinely, and that meant a lot to me. If I can't be genuine to people, then why even bother being here? It's the ATTITUDE that matters.

More than anything, the crew and the speakers really had the opportunity to bond. Most of us never dealt with the speakers. I bet none of us will forget that Saturday night any time soon...when all of us were in a bus on the way to dinner, listening to Pietro cracking jokes, and David getting teased. Personally, when Hannah sat down near Kiko and I and talked to us, I felt like she really did care. It wasn't the kind of conversation where people try to make small talk about various small things, but it was like she really did want to know how we're doing and all. I was sitting right behind David and Fellest and had the opportunity to chat with them a little. It was really interesting to listen to them talk, and I realised that no matter where we come from, what we do and how different we maybe, essentially we're all people. One and the same...human race.

Now that I'm back, I really feel that I've found something I like. Being someone who's not into boring, routine work, this has been an all-new, totally exciting experience for me. Thanks, Leo, for giving me an oportunity. Thanks to all the other crew members for being such wonderful people who didn't mind it when this little chatterbox pestered you, be it for instructions or for my own social needs. Thanks to David and Pietro for providing us with plenty of laughter, thanks to Serena C for that little conversation in the restroom XD. Thanks Reymee, for being such a sweet person, thanks Hans and Harith, though I never made conversation, but you guys really made the workshop roll. Thanks Joey, for being so friendly and warm to us, thanks Fellest, for being such a nice, charming guy. And saving the best for the last, a huge ありがとう to Hannah, for making me feel like I did make a difference.

I might not be able to join you guys in KK (believe me, I really, really want to...) but my prayers go with you as you guys work your magic in KK (no pun intended XD). May all the preparations go smoothly, the participants interested and interactive, may all of you impact their lives, and have fun while doing that. Most of all, I pray that all of you will have a safe journey there, and a safe journey back. Amen!

A fleeting thought...

Do you believe in God and the Devil? Where does the Devil come from? Does he not come from the Creator? The devil’s origin is not known, but his purpose – to wreck havoc and tempt man into sin – is well-discussed all over the world. Yet, from whence does Satan come? Is Satan and the devil the same? What of his other names, Lucifer, the fallen angel? Or Beelzebub or Belphegor or whatever other names he had been given? Are those all the same devil? Or are they all separate entities which have been associated with him? We know not the origin of the creature which ill-advised Eve to partake in the forbidden fruit. But do you not think that if God is Creator, that the devil too originated from God? Yet why would God create something that would lead man – his beloved children and creations – away from the path which God has set for him? Why indeed?

Perhaps…if one were to look at it from this perspective, the devil’s purpose was to obstruct man. He was to lead them astray with the glamour of sin. He was meant to test man, to challenge their faith and their character, that those who believed should overcome it as a testimony to God’s power and grace. God provides obstacles and temptation, but He is a Holy God. Was He to lay such obstacles before man by himself? Was it not man himself who incited these obstacles, whether by the intention of other men or by falling into sin himself? Yet, why would man – even good men – be encouraged to perform sinful deeds? Was it not also on the account of the devil that many have fallen, as many as those who, by the weakness of their character and unbelief, allowed the devil to whisper into their hearts? Those who believed and held onto their faith and were obedient overcame the temptations and attained the favour of God. If one were to look at it from this perspective, then would one not say that the devil is also a tool? Would one not say the devil was moving under the influence of God, and thus is under His control?

Do you believe in the principle of duality? Everything that exists must have an exact opposite to counter each other. Light and dark exist to counter each other. Yet, can we do away with one of them? For without the other, is there meaning in the one which is left? Have you ever thought about what it would be like should there only be light and no darkness? Would we know that light is light, seeing that we have never known darkness? Or to be in eternal darkness, if we were to never know what light was to look like, would we long for its beauty? They exist in relation to each other, just as day exists with night. Parallel, chasing each other, but never to meet…

Similarly, good and evil…the idea that is associated with God and the devil, exist to give each other meaning…to be. If we have never seen evil, would we know what was good? Yet, does this tie with everything else? I don’t really know…I am not justifying the existence of the devil, but if one believes God exists, then one should also believe that His counterpart in nature exists. Whether the devil has a purpose or not, whether he too is tied to the all the other creations of God…that I can never seek to understand, because pure truth is sometimes painful, sometimes destructive, always elusive.