Education system going down the dumps

I say this effing seriously.

The current education system is, I dare say, failing at a remarkable rate for a country which really has quite a lot of resources. Now, a new, hum...plan? policy? Never mind what they call it, the important thing is now they say they're coming out with something to 'kononnya' improve our education system.

I looked forward to it, really. I would love to see the education system and quality pick up. Then I saw the four imperatives' and I have to say, there are a fair few gaps in there. First of all, let's check out the imperatives, briefly, of course. Student success, hold schools accountable for student outcomes, or lack of, invest heavily in principals and heads, and develop top teachers.

Can you see the big hole here? What constitutes student success? Student outcomes? Does it mean more As? More graduates? The whole 'policy' hinges on these two terms, yet I can't find the definition in any articles so far. Depending on what they mean, it could make a miracle or mean a disaster.

Imagine that student success means producing more A-students (meaning purely academics). So now, under the new policy, it needs to be ensure that students become A-students. Schools who do not produce A-students will suffer the consequences. This may make the principal or head put more pressure (and blame) on the teachers and students for not performing, because they have been invested in heavily by the policy, and the decrepit performance will be on their heads (no pun intended). Then thte school may lose anything from resources and reputation, and it will become hard to attract and develop top teachers (Oh, and what do they mean by top teachers anyway?)

Now there's even curriculum for pre-schools! So now the nation is intent on turning us into a bunch of brain-riddled zombies who ingest nothing but academics. What happened to letting kids play? What happened to healthy development? Can you see me tearing my hair out by now?

And they're using some 'interesting' tactics to 'encourage' heads to ensure they run the schools well. Give them money if they perform, if they don't, well, too bad. Ugh, and they want to trigger the corporate culture in schools?? Agh, why!? It's a school, for goodness sake! Don't turn it into some funky enterpreneur manoveour! And they want to 'teach' students about integration of cultures, of different races and religions. They wanna do that? First, stop talking about races and religions, and students will get the point. They're not THAT stupid. And another thing? No point teaching them if the 'role models' are portraying all the opposite. So yeah, if you can get teachers to learn to accept and integrate the cultures, bravo, you're on the way to success. I speak honestly and from experience when I say I've seen teachers who are as biased (mainly racist, but I mean other prejudices as well) as they come, and really, students learn and reflect what they say and do. It happens. Deal with it.

And the best part? I haven't seen the term personal growth and development anywhere. Yep, looks like our education system won't change much. It used to be about grades...now it looks like it's going to be about grades too. And they wonder why our human capital is declining, students becoming more unruly and graduates not getting employed.

Busy busy busy!

Which explains why I haven't been updating. I think assignments can kill...

Been kept on the very tips of my toes by 302...thanks to that assignment, I've only had an average of 5 hours of sleep for 3 days. On top of that, had to prepare for 308 assessment. 309 needed planning, but that wasn't a bad as the others. I officially hate 110B. I find it utterly meaningless. Submit a resume and cover letter as assignment? Really a waste of time. They treat us as though we can't write resumes...if we ever wrote crappy ones, it wouldn't be because we don't know how to, but it's because we're too lazy to go and do it properly. The only thing that hasn't killed me yet is 215.

Then on top of the five subjects...there's the issue about thesis. Gotta do a lot more work to prepare for it. And then of course, the new personal project I'm launching is taking up some time to plan too. Ah well, life is best spent being productive I guess.

But really, this week has been back-to-back. Mon was only 3 hours of sleep...then it was lecture, meetings, PAL and more meetings all the way. My day ended well thanks to a certain person though. XD Then the next day was the same...PAL, assessment, dept promo work, meetings, and meetings...then today was again, similar...So much work that my brain doesn't seem to shut down. It's like...every minute I'm thinking about some work. I fall asleep thinking about what needs to be done the next day, and wake up thinking what I need to finish up that day. Brain is like...taxed to the max.

BUT! Today was finally finished with 302 assessment, so all's well that ends well. I think I can finally sleep properly now. I wanna dream of Gackt...or someone. XD

Rant

I. Should. Be. Studying!


What the heck, man....can't concentrate at all. Just got back from Ipoh on a late evening bus...in all honesty, I don't like travelling by bus at night. Coz I'll have to take the bloody taxi and everything...bleh ><

Anyhow, I'm trying hard to read up, but much of it seems to be flowing out from some hidden crack somewhere...info is leaking out like nobody's business. And it doesn't help that I'm kinda high from watching a whole load of 2PM's 'Niga Mibda' (I Hate You) lives on Youtube. Plus, I'm already thinking about what to do on my holidays....I'm totally not in the exam mood -_-

Gah...

Bleh...not concentrating at all. At this rate, I'm pretty much screwed up for finals....

Wanna drown in songs and dreams and not bother about the 20+ chapters I need to read through.

By the way, had a weird dream last night. Think "Alien" meet "Resident Evil". Dreamt I was stuck in a school-like place (actually, more like a house with a bunch of students in there)...was supposed to be there to talk with the lady in charge. I assumed she was the head? Anyway...while I was there we had to be attacked by a bunch of weird creatures who kinda reminded me of those dog-faced, tentacle aliens from "Aliens". Witnessed one of it tear into the throat of someone outside the building, then immediately an alien burst out of the wound (Yeah, I think I watched too much TV lately...)

Then we were trying to find a way to first, protect ourselves and bar the creatures from coming into the building and then, it became an attempt to escape. It was kinda freaky...it's like living through Resident Evil, coz these aliens can disguise as human beings (har har...) Even if it's just a dream, I really felt the fear and the desire to survive. So the lady principal, one of the older male students and myself tried to find a way to escape. But of course, in 'plots' like these, the aliens end up closing in, and at the very last minute, when we thought we found a way to escape, the male student turned on us...

Turned out he was...infected already. And we're pretty much screwed. Nowhere to run, and hell, no place to hide. So what happens? Well, if you can't beat them, join them...so people say. That's what happens next anyway...

Updatezzzz...

Because someone said I never update my blog....here I am, lol. I know, really lame reason to update, but really, my life isn't so exciting that there's anything I wanna say.

Basically it's been nothing but study nowadays. That worries me, because it's a sign that I have no life, hahaha... But some interesting things have happened over the weekend. We'll start with the boring one. I'll be leading a team in organising an educational game exhibition under the department. When I say team, I mean 5 of us, but hey...everything starts small yeah? Looking at the expectations a good sir is having, I know I'm in for a lot of work. But I'm glad, coz it's a real opportunity to expand my horizon. Like my dear friend said, be an opportunist!

Done with the drab and on with the drama. My sister gave all of us a mighty shock when she became unreachable for a day. My parents have been trying to contact her, and she didn't reply any of the messages nor answered any calls. That was in the morning. Towards the evening, my brother and I started calling and indeed, she wasn't picking up! My parents were up in KL for an event, and by the time it has ended, it was 10+ at night and still no replies. *cue imminent panic*

In a fervent effort to reach her, I called up a friend in Ipoh to ask her to check online. Lo and behold, she wasn't online!! FYI, my sister is always online, unless she is physically parted from her darling laptop. And so mayhem ensued, eliciting (in my case) calls to friends, vague acquaintances, even total strangers, (in my mum's case) friends with kids studying at Kampar, friends who lived somewhere near Kampar while my brother tried time and time again to call her phone. It wasn't that the call didn't get through, but she wasn't picking up. At that point, any well-meaning mum will start imagining things, and really...it's not pleasant. It was a public holiday the next day, so many of her friends had gone back to their hometowns. My mum was contemplating driving back to Kampar to check on her, and my dad was so distracted he ran a red light and got the police on our tail (no, seriously).

At last, upon reaching my place (it was already 12+, btw) mum's friend has managed to get hold of someone who can help us go check on my sister. Only thing is, he lives 30 mins away, and the relationship between that friend and this person is....not at its best. And so, the person drove there, arrived at my sister's place and called for her. And guess what? My genius sister was at home! Turned out she forgot to turn the silent mode off, and her phone does not vibrate when silent. On top of lousy connections and the fact the phone was on the floor, she was playing online games and so did not go online on MSN or whatever.

.............What could I say? We were mighty relieved, but we were royally pissed too. She probably took several years off our lives (God forbid), had half the Ipoh and Kampar population wondering and worrying for her, and probably a quarter of KL too. No surprise, of course, the moment she got online, we bombarded her. Well, I think it's partly her fault, and partly her phone's fault. It needs to retire soon. But she was sorry, so I guess one has to just accept that....sisters after all.

Well, that's all for updates. Maybe I'll come again soon, if anything interesting happens.

PS: To the someone who wonders why I don't update, I did, just not on this blog.

Imma BACK ON!

I'm BAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!! After ONE WHOLE MONTH with no lappeh, and no internat (goodness knows how I survived...-_-;;;) my lappeh is finally back!!!! Time to get around updating myself again~~

Why?

It looks like this is the year of food scandals, with the latest one being the China milk scandal. Hmm...China seems to be quite "prone" to this, don't you think? I'm sure plenty has been reported in the news considering how wide the impact is. The issue of putting melamine in milk is really crazy. Melamine is used to make plastic people...I'm sure that kinda tells you that you're not supposed to put it in food?

I don't understand how people can do that. For the sake of lowering production rates, they'd put cheap chemicals into their products. For the sake of maximising profit, they'd stick in stuff that'll "boost" the quantity but kill the quality. For the sake of money, they are willing to risk thousands and thousands of lives. Just in this milk scandal alone, how many thousand babies have suffered? Just in this scandal alone, how many products have to be recalled all over the world? China isn't the only country consuming its own products!

Why is it that people are so obsessed with making money that they fail to see the beyond the figures? How is it that people are so bloody keen on getting rich that they can ignore the possible consequences of their actions? Surely they know that melamine is dangerous to health! Why can't people just do things the old-fashioned way? If you want to get rich, then work for it! Why try for a shortcut than can potentially kill your future or the future of others?

People have fallen sick. Babies are chronically ill before they even know how to walk. Babies died...how cruel is the world that those who just entered into life as healthy beings should have to leave it again because of someone else's irresponsibility and greed...that their life and future were snatched away from them before they could what it was...that their dreams had to end before they ever had a chance to express it....

For the sake of material craving, many things were sacrificed...lives, principles, trust...things which can never be gained through material offerings. Now, the very thing they were chasing have eluded them. What consequences await them in the future? I don't know, but surely, those who still have a heart would have suffered their own selves already...for who can live with the guilt of taking lives and still be whole?r

Unbelievable stories

This is unbelievable. I've only been in this house for...32 hours...but just now, the roof came down. To be exact, a panel fell from the roof. Now water is dripping onto the second floor...outside our rooms...aigoo~ I haven't even been here long enough to do the laundry, and I'm already regretting picking this house. But for the sake of distance and price....I'll endure till I find somewhere more decent. I thought as long as I stay in my room, my own corner I'll be fine, but it looks like certain things can't be avoided. Aish...

The hole in the roof...you can see...something...

The bucket we're using to collect the dripping water...next to it, you can see the fallen panel.

Then the night before I moved in, my mum came down to KL to help me move my stuff. So we ended staying one night at the Sri Puchong Hotel...opposite side of the road to Dae Jang Gum. And close to 1 something 2 am, there was a huge row downstairs. I was already asleep but the noise woke me up. Guess what made the noise? It was a woman screaming angrily. I was like, waking up and "Who's making that racket? I want to sleep..." My mum and bro were also up at that point, then we heard something like glass breaking. So my mum got curious and opened the window to see what's happening. I couldn't hear nuts...I only hear some lady screaming at someone else, and doors slamming. I was like, "Ugh, a Hong Kong drama at 2 am in the morning..." I don't care, I want to go back to sleep...and I did. Next morning, my mum asked the receptionist what happened last night. She tried to deny anything happened, but of course, no one digs out the truth like ol' mum. Apparently, the lady who was screaming yesterday caught her husband having an affair. The husband brought the woman to the hotel, and the wife found out. So lo and behold, a melodrama in the middle of the night...breaking glass, slamming doors and yelling. Plus, it seems my mum managed to comprehend some of the words the lady was screaming. I won't repeat it here due to its inappropriateness. But it sure is interesting to know that melodramas happen in real life too.

Lastly, before I shoot off to sleep, just a lil' glimpse of my corner~

IMU Cheerleading Finals + Money Issues

Went to the IMU Cheerleading Finals on Froday with my cell members. Was pretty exciting to watch. There was some problems with the PA system, so the last three teams performing lost audio at some point, but they did a really good job handling the situation, especially the final team, Phoenix. All the other teams were good too, all in a different sense. Some used more props, others emphasised more on stunts. Had a really good time, considering that I bumped into some old high school friends there. Didn't know they were in IMU...

Aside from that, my week has been filled with thought to say the least. Money is ranking tops on my worry list now...considering that I still have half of my fees to pay...not sure if we can come out with the money by the end of the month. Wondering if I should go out and look for a weekend job, but what difference will it make? I need the time for my studies...I can't afford to slip any more in my grades if I wanna aim for scholarships in the future.

Money...it's not everything in the world, but you can't live without it. That's the reality of it. It's really frustrating that it's one thing I normally don't care much about, but the one thing I really need now. I can't do anything nor control anything regarding my financial issues, and my parents said the same thing. I really can't help much, I know. But it doesn't stop me from worrying.

For now, all I can do is to do my part, the best as I can. In my case, that would mean to study well...to make sure that all the money my parents invested in my education is not wasted. I will do my best to live fully, without faltering, standing strong to support those who have expectations of me.

You know who you are...Thanks

Hey...thanks for your words yeah? It's just that....well, I really have a...problem with being left out on conversations and stuff...and well, maybe some of you can deal with it when you don't un what's going on or maybe some sort of secret joke or hidden meaning or whatever, but I have an extreme complex about it. And I think I'm a bit paranoid, because when that happens, I feel like I'm totally left out. Even when I tell myself not to be so paranoid, the feeling gets better of me sometimes. It's something that I've been struggling with for...years? I think it's just me...maybe you're right. Maybe it's about time I slow down. Don't worry...I don't think there are any arguments, and I can tell you all the bonds I have with all of you are real. I just....have a problem with attachment. I just hope I can really be honest with myself...and sort out this issue soon. Haha, thanks again.

Makeover? To do or not to do...

A quick, random post...do I need a makeover? I've been carrying the same image since what, primary school? Even my long-time friends don't feel that I've changed much. Makes me wonder if I should like, get a makeover.

My mum used to say, "There's no such thing as an ugly woman, just a lazy one." Kudos to you, mum! But hmm....a bit 'ma fan' le...(troublesome, that means). I mean, want to do something to my hair....but it's prone to damage, so not sure if I should do anything drastic to it....plus the curly-but-not-entirely-curly nature of my hair makes it a pain to style. Can't go for short hair coz mum won't let me...and I don't think it fits me. Plus can't dye....it'll kill my hair T_T No parental permission either...maybe I should go see a stylist?

I suppose I can try other things la....like modify the way I dress etc...but seriously, in Malaysia it feels more like a pain than anything. I'm really picky about what I wear...need to consider the weather, the occasion...mood. At the end of the day, the best combination to suit all these would be the ever reliable jeans and tee with sneakers. And someone once told me to learn makeup, but....practical or not when I have to walk to college? I mean, how can you expect anyone to makeup in this weather? Will melt immediately okay? Plus if you sweat with makeup on....ugh....that's so bad for your pores. But one day want to play around with eyeliners and stuff lol...saw Mika draw with them once, now curious...

Bleh...at the end of the day, must still see the most important factor...got MONEY or not???

Mood Gone Haywire

Something was wrong with my 'aerial' today.... Couldn't connect to anyone today...hmm.... It's the old feeling revisiting...the feeling I really hate the most.

I don't know what was bugging me....but something was definitely wrong. Started off fine...then around lunchtime...I felt myself sinking into an unmistakably familiar...yet unwelcomed mood. Yeah, once again, the feeling of being in the crowd but not part of it.

Everyone has a particular...issue that bothers them once in a while. For me...well, I've always been struggling with this type of loneliness, if I can call it that. It's really bizarre, actually...since I've never seen myself as someone who would have problems being social, but yeah... Maybe it's because I'm so social that I have this problem...a need for reassurance that I'm not just some decoration on the wall. I really have an issue huh?

I've been pretty free from this feeling since, I don't know, a pretty long time. But I guess, occasionally, things like these need to come back and haunt you for a while. Maybe the hiatus made the feeling grow stronger...like some form of accumulation or stagnation, but it really hit me hard. I couldn't find the energy to just...be my usual cheerful self...or maybe I didn't want to, I don't know...

It's like, someone pushed you off a really high cliff...but you don't want to try opening the parachute 'cause you're enjoying the fall. Yeah, something like that. It's not a feeling I like, but I need to steep myself in it once in a while. I believe people call this feeling 'Solitude', something that's not necessarily nice, but necessary...I believe it's necessary for me anyway. It's at times like these I sit down and get in touch with myself...I spend a lot of time with people, so much that sometimes, I forget that I'm a person too...I too need to talk to myself sometimes.

So yeah...I was just...immersing myself in the feeling... At one point, I think I was throwing a tantrum...a quiet tantrum. But at who or what? Beats me. Then I told myself, look, remember what you always say to all those depressed friends about feeling depressed? Give yourself time to mourn, then get over it! So yeah....I realised I couldn't snap out of it...the intensity was really different, I guess it must be because I haven't been down for so long, so I did what I usually do when I hit rock bottom.

I starting writing on a piece of paper....using writing as a medium to talk to my inner self...and let the writing just flow till I hit the main cause...which I did, I guess...because that's when I feel the words flow like they needed to be said, and I could no longer write legibly....I was literally scribbling across the paper. I could feel my expression hardening, changing...and finally, I came to the end of the rant.... Then I tore the paper to bits....a little symbolism, I guess...as a sign to tell myself that this issue has been said, dissected and gotten over with. Then slowly in class, my mood picked up till I was finally laughing again at Ms. Winnee's sarcastic jokes.

Moments like these make me think that no one is immune to feeling down at times. (Yes, even a person who seems like she only sees the bright side of things) But I guess the most important thing about the whole issue is how you handle the emotions...how to experience it without letting it take control over you, and learning to carefully dissipitate the emotions....so you don't hurt others or yourself. I'm still feeling some of the repercussions of the 'episode'...still in a quiet mood...especially since it's a 'Rainy Night', yes, Junsu? But I think after some sleep, I'll be back to becoming a loud and bright Sarah again.

Another 'interesting' presentation from the Couple's gang...

Birds of a feather flock together...just when I thought that girl-half of the Couple was the only one with a weird presentation, enter her friend...who's always with them. Today, it became clear to me how these two could be good friends.... -_-;;; Let me tell you what's the differences between the two presentations...

Firstly, while the girl picked a weird job, her friend, whom I shall call 'Bai' (Chinese for white, coz she normally wears white...of course, you can attach some other words at the back for different meanings..) Well, 'Bai' has a pretty normal job...a lecturer.

Secondly, while the girl was bombarded with questions, 'Bai' hardly had any. The reason?? Let me then say this is where the similarity starts. The presentation was weird....WEIRD!!!

She came up to the front to present, and the first thing she said was "My name is *beep* and I will be your PSY001 lecturer."

I thought, 'Okay, so she's going to roleplay...'

Then after that, she said, "I give you 5 minutes to ask me questions about my job."

What??? You haven't presented anything, what do you expect us to ask?? All of us were like staring at her dumbfounded...for once, I couldn't think of what to ask. Then 3 people asked la...

"Do you think you're qualified to teach?"

"Why a lecturer?"

"What is your long-term goal?"

Then after that...total silence....I think if I dropped a pen, it'll sound like I dropped a brick. Most of us then thought, 'Ah, maybe she wants to do the Q&A session first, then do her presentation...' because the next thing she said was, "If there are no more questions, I will proceed with the lecture. (pause) That is the end of the roleplaying session. Are there any questions about my presentation?"

Of course don't have la! You haven't presented anything! So we all sat quietly and waited patiently for her to go on....then....

"Thank you."

What? Huh? Huh?? Over already??

That was how all of us were feeling then. I actually really wanted to ask her something but I didn't because I don't really have the authority...and I might make a poor little girl cry, so I kept me mouth shut. I shall rant here!

Granted, you are qualified to teach, but what makes you suitable for the job? What makes you stand out from the rest? There is a difference between being qualified and being suitable.

Are you aware that we are your future employers and not your future students? Do you feel that you have the right temperament to be a lecturer? (Given that I've seen her burst into tears over some silly issue of not being the best)

Given that the objective was to persuade us that you are suitable for this job, do you think the presentation style was appropriate? Do you think you have effectively persuaded us, who are your prospective employers?

I admit that this is very creative, but do you think you have provided us with sufficient information to decide whether to hire you or not? If the information is not sufficient, are you aware that you will not be considered for the job?

Haih...I'm utterly convinced that some people just have low EQ...or no common sense. -_-;;;

On a side note, my own presentation went okay. I think I managed to answer the needs of the presentation, so I'm glad. Finally, I'm totally free from assignments and projects! Now off to meh books...*scuttles off*

I'm bored out of my mind...I hate boredom...I hooked onto my lappie...and surprisingly can't find anything interesting to do. Not even Youtube placated my boredom...geez, what's wrong? I don't feel like starting on my lab report, but researching for my MC100 is not turning up well. Is it so hard to find out how what kind of jobs a television production company offer??? ><

Mmm....what am I gonna do now? Go out? No money....work on the lab report? Don't wanna! ><

Maybe I should just sleep....or not. I'm not the napping type. If only I had a piano, then I could at least practice the piece Karmun taught me. Maybe I should just stare into thin air....yeah, feel like doing that...waste more time...=_=;;;