Exams are nuts

Exams are tough...but having 5 papers, 3 of which are heavyweight subjects, are a little crazy even for me.

I must've been really nuts to go for 5 subjects, but hey, this is the price to pay if I wanna finish up on time. But I just found out that graduation happens only once a year in April, so technically, if I finish fast, I still have to wait for April to graduate. But then, I'll have time to go for my training, and still have spare time over for holidays and whatever else. XD

So for now, I'm just gonna work my ass off, somehow survive finals, then enjoy Christmas holidays.

Net is REVIVED!!!

My internet connection has finally been reestablished! Ah...it's horrible for your net to be down in the peak season for assignments. But it's finally back on, so it's chop-chop, back to work! Will update later.

Working in Bukit Tinggi

Ah, had a hectic time back up in on Bukit Tinggi helping out with training. But it was fun! Started off with my lecturer asking if I was interested in becoming a facilitator for a training job. I said sure and got some details from him. Turned out the company doing the training was his wife's. Training was supposed to be on Friday, but Christine wanted to leave on Thursday evening to check out the place. So, after asking leave of several lecturers for missing class...up we went to Bukit Tinggi.

Since I've been there several times, I didn't feel as nervous as I would have expected. I know the place we're staying at, and I know the place where training was to be held. At least I won't get lost, right? First thing we did was went up to Colmar, where the training hall was. Peggy and I had been put in charge of the treasure hunt, so we went around the village looking for good spots. After that it was work all the way.

Christine has high expectations from us, and we got a lot of feedback too. It was pretty corporate to me, with all our ideas being questioned for suitability and practicality. But we managed to work out the ideas somehow and spend the rest of the night working on the preps for the treasure hunt, and getting briefed about all the other activities we'll be doing. By the time Peggy and I went to sleep, the birds just woke up. It was what, 6.30 am? And we had to wake up at 7.15 too....

But it was all right...I've had my fair share of pulling close all-nighters and Peggy isn't weak on her knees either. We got the day started setting up the hall, and greeting the clients. Then it was a matter of just going through with our itenary...helping out where we were supposed to. There were 38 participants, so it wasn't too bad. Then it after the breaks and all, it was time for the treasure hunt set-up. Due to some miscommunication, we had to check out of the hotel on that day itself (don't ask me, I have no idea what went on) so while Peggy went with my lecturer to pack up, I was running around the place sticking clues.

When it finally started, I was nervous as hell, hoping things would go well. I had been appointed runner, meaning I had to run all over the place taking pictures of groups while solving puzzles, deciphering clues and at the same time, troubleshooting. I was literally running back and forth Colmar to see what's happening at the stations, snapping pictures of the groups and looked out for the lost teams. Quite a few of them misinterpreted clues and ended up in a completely differnt place, and some even ended up in the wrong stations and missing out certain vital pieces of the puzzle. It took all I had to give them hints without telling them the answer. I think, I spent about 7 hours on my feet, and 3 of those running. I must have ran around the length of the village at least 10 times.

When it was over, they went back for debriefing, we took of the stuff we stuck around town. The clients invited us to their dinner, but since we have no room to stay in, and it would probably end late, we declined and went straight to packing. They sent us home after dinner lol.

This being my first time being part of a training job, I think it was challenging since it was a different environment. The elements of event managament were there, so I wasn't out of place, but all the previous jobs I've done where either for charity or workshops. The agenda was normally decided beforehand and all I did was help out. In this case, it felt a lot more involving since we had to plan as well, which was challenging. But I learnt a lot from the experience and had a lot of fun doing this. Overall, it was a valuable experience. I hope next time, we can do this again with a bigger team.

Busy busy busy!

Which explains why I haven't been updating. I think assignments can kill...

Been kept on the very tips of my toes by 302...thanks to that assignment, I've only had an average of 5 hours of sleep for 3 days. On top of that, had to prepare for 308 assessment. 309 needed planning, but that wasn't a bad as the others. I officially hate 110B. I find it utterly meaningless. Submit a resume and cover letter as assignment? Really a waste of time. They treat us as though we can't write resumes...if we ever wrote crappy ones, it wouldn't be because we don't know how to, but it's because we're too lazy to go and do it properly. The only thing that hasn't killed me yet is 215.

Then on top of the five subjects...there's the issue about thesis. Gotta do a lot more work to prepare for it. And then of course, the new personal project I'm launching is taking up some time to plan too. Ah well, life is best spent being productive I guess.

But really, this week has been back-to-back. Mon was only 3 hours of sleep...then it was lecture, meetings, PAL and more meetings all the way. My day ended well thanks to a certain person though. XD Then the next day was the same...PAL, assessment, dept promo work, meetings, and meetings...then today was again, similar...So much work that my brain doesn't seem to shut down. It's like...every minute I'm thinking about some work. I fall asleep thinking about what needs to be done the next day, and wake up thinking what I need to finish up that day. Brain is like...taxed to the max.

BUT! Today was finally finished with 302 assessment, so all's well that ends well. I think I can finally sleep properly now. I wanna dream of Gackt...or someone. XD

The other bday bash...

Because I spent my 21st bday away from family, and because it was Midautumn's Day, and because my Chinese bday was the day right after Midautumn's Day...family decided to celebrate it all, nice and proper last weekend. Invited quite a few relatives. Tried to invite some friends too, but most are not in Ipoh...so too bad I guess.

In our extended, extended family, quite a few people were born in the 8th lunar month, so celebrated all of those together...we made something of a makan party, called caterer etc...got 3 cakes, my goodness, coz celebrating 7 people's birthdays in one shot. It was quite interesting, but I spent more time running around attending to other people lol. But it was really fun!

After the long and tired day, I finally got around to doing what I looked forward to the most...what else, opening presents la! I would think I'm a little old for presents, but the few that I got sure made me happy. I must admit the one that my mum and siblings got me really made me curious, coz the packaging looks soooo big! When I opened it, the box said Samsung LCD TV. Of course that's not what's inside...what use would I have of a tv screen. Turns out it was a brand new laptop backpack...Nike too! Love the design and colour! And of course, it was something I wanted, since my Converse bag was literally growing a beard with the long use. XD

Other relatives either gave angpau or some form of jewelry...one gave me a realy cute pair of earrings. When she first saw it, she said she really liked it coz it looked like Italina chandeliers to her (both sides are different). When she showed it to her husband, he started laughing and said it looked like some articles of clothing that only women wore. XD When I saw it, I immediately knew what he meant lol! Even though I can't wear earrings, I'll treasure it nicely! XD

The highlight was of course, dad's present. I opened it and I saw the word Nokia! I was like, "Oh!?" Then, my sis said, "Don't be fooled by the box!" While I was a little deflated, I opened the box proper...and lo and behold! It WAS a Nokia 5130 XpressMusic! The first thing I did was said OMG and jumped up lmao!

It was definitely one of the better birthdays all right...

21st Birthday

Had a fairly interesting day today. Started off with the pest control coming to spray the house. So since it smells, decided to go out! Wanted to drop by TAF, but it was too early, so I followed housemates to Midvalley. Just walked around a bit, then headed off to Taylor's.

Hmmm....the event is a small-scaled event, with a number of competitions. When I arrived, I think they just finished the cosplay competition. Found my friend waiting for finalist list. Then just walked around looking at the goods and games going on. Nothing much really, but there was a singing competition. Met a few friends there...all of them asked me how come I didn't cosplay lol. Now, if only I have the time and money... Didn't buy anything since nothing caught my eye. Wished I brought a camera though...mine's lousy and broken -_-;; (Oh, my friend won 2nd place in the cosplay comp btw...)

Anyway, hung around until it was time to go to church...before that, I ate at this place called The Street Cafe. I was surprised to see it's Korean! Ordered deokbokki, but it was too spicy and hot so couldn't finish T_T. It tasted good though, and not expensive. Students get 20% discount! And even after I told them I'm not from around there! Must visit again..maybe bring friends next time. Haha, they were playing MVs from Big Bang, Suju and 2NE1. I was singing 'Fire' while eating that spicy deokbokki...how ironic.

Service with Ps Joakim was amazing! He barely preached, instead, he shared many personal stories and testimonies of the young people of Sweden, and how they brought revival to their schools and unis. I was so touched and inspired by their stories. During altar call, the presence of God was surely strong and moving the hearts of the congregation! I pray too that the person in my mind is able to be saved soon.

After service, went to Sushi Zanmai for dinner. Whee~~ XD For a Jap foodie like me, there's no better choice for dinner! 18 of us went! The staff at Zanmai couldn't find enough places for us lol! Food was great, of course. But nothing beats being in the company of friends to celebrate your 21st, yeah? Oh, and it was advance for Samuel. I was just surprised so many went! Even saw some college friends who came for service. Had a nice chat with them too.

Anyway, I had a blast! And coming home to check my FB, I had another surprise of seeing many birthday wishes. Felt really loved and blessed. Thank you Lord for the people around me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go put up the Jae wallie Jas just made. XD

After the Raya

Hooo dear....

I'm feeling the workload. What with having several meetings in a week, on top of a crazy amount of reading needed. But at least I got to spend a good weekend with my family. They came up for the Raya holidays...which translates to spending time out with them, which equals to less time for assignments, but yeah.

Didn't do anything special...but we went to my uncle's place. And there was a PS2 there!!! I was so happy T_T Just spend the whole day glued to the machine...playing ToA and Star Ocean...finally! The feel of having a controller in your hand and the sight of Fayt going in to bash the enemies with those very familiar skills....sure missed the feel of it. I saw Albel-sama too~~ *dies a happy fangirl*

But now it's back to work....with multiple things to do and loads of stuff to read. Hopefully, by the time the year is out, I'm still alive and well lol.

Gamers, go watch Gamer

SERIOUSLY.

**SPOILER ALERT**
In the future, gaming has revolutionized into a form of virtual reality in reality. Developed by a man named Ken Castle, it started off with a life-simulation game called Society. It pretty much mirrors Second Life and the Sims. Here, a player can control another human being, much like how we control Sims, using them to interact and do whatever in Society...and I really do mean whatever. There are also people who 'work' in Society, people who get paid for being controlled.

A new game, featuring this same model of control, called 'Slayers' was then developed. In Slayers, players control real-life convicts, all who have a death sentence on their heads. I haven't played any war games before, but Slayers is your typical shoot-and-survive game. Convicts are given the chance to go free...if they can survive 30 sessions. And in Slayers, the man closest to being the first to reach that is Kable (real name Tillman). A big part of the movie shows him running around, blowing the brains out of other players in the game, but there's a hint of conspiracy and rebellion through it. On top of it, he's got a wife who is a controlled character in Society and a daughter adopted by someone else. Tillman escapes the system and exacts revenge....or justice, however you wanna see it.

**SPOILER ALERT END**

At first glance, Gamer might look like your run-of-the-mill action movie, complete with fast-paced gun action and pretty gross carnage. It looks brainless, but there is an underlined issue of gaming violence and what it does to people. If you're a psych student like me, you know desensitization and dehumanization.

You can watch it for the bloody galore of it all, but you can also think of the implications the movie has about media violence. Gamer gives us a look at how it's like for the person playing the convict and the convict playing the game. For Tillman, the pain, deaths and violence are very, very real. He carries a psychological burden of having to go into the battlefield...not knowing how many people he would have to kill, not knowing when he would be killed. Yet, his player (a 17-year-old rich brat, Simon) treated the game exactly as it was...a game.

The truth is, no one cared who dies in the game. Blood, gore, violence....the adrenaline rush, that's what drives the population wild every time they watch a live session of Slayers. And to them, Kable is like a shipped hero of that game. So real people died on the other side of the screen...so what, they were criminals waiting to die anyway. That's what's being portrayed in the movie...and it reminds me how human beings remain the cruellest creatures on earth.

Gamer is not a movie for you if you can't stand seeing body parts flying off, or blood spattered all over the place. It's also not for you if you have issues with sexual scenes, since a few players of Society look like their sole purpose in the game is to order their avvies (for the lack of better words) to get laid and watch. Granted, they never did get there, but personally, I found the controller of Tillman's wife really gross.

That aside, it makes for a pretty thoughtful watch...for an action movie anyway.

Pleasant surprise??

I is shocked...but not unpleasantly. XD Nuff said.

Start of new sem

It's just the starting of the sem, but I can see the work piling ahead already. And I decided to be crazy and took 5 subs on top of it. Don't know whether I'm nuts or what, but there's no choice but to do it! Ganbaru! ><

And Karyn's leg isn't getting better...a bit worried about that too. Poor girl's getting depressed just from being so cooped up...but I can sympthasize....since I hate being cooped up with nothing to do either. On another note, Ai Rene's persuasion has finally paid off...and I got back on LJ.

As an aside, just came off PAL today. Met an absolutely interesting tutee....the dude said studying is pointless proudly. But looking at the way he conducted himself...and the way he talked, it looks like he has an interesting character. Talked to him a bit...wondered if I got through... Oh well, he's not exactly under me, but I'm interested in checking out his development. I hope his tutor can handle him...he's a bit tricky to read. And I walked 2 Law freshies back to Main block today, LOL. It's been a good day.

Short update

Yeah yeah...I know...I can hear the "You haven't been updating vibes" coming from several directions. Haha, I know it's been a trend. The moment I go back home, I'll MIA for as long as it takes for the holiday to be over.

Anyhow, been cutting down on the drive-outs due to the H1N1 threat. Watched GI Joe, and wanting to watch it again, but yeah...now the advice is don't go to places with big crowds so yeah...no movies for a while.

No plans as of yet, so I've been checking out the K-entertainment world...hearing about how JaeChunSu filing the lawsuit makes me feel a little sad. It's true that Korea is perhaps one of the few rare countries which have artistes bonded with long contracts. In Japan, most artistes have to renew their contracts often, but that's because they're not that many companies but lots of artistes. It's really sad for the boys...having to work hard always, and yet not being able to have a breather. These "slave contracts" are really tough deals. And to think that it's one of the biggest groups in Asia to make us aware of these contracts.... I know it's a business for these talent management companies, but really...unlike products, these idols are people. They have needs of their own too. It's not like you can just squeeze all the profit you can out of them while they can still wring out the juices. I think it's big time the K-entertainment industry see some changes in the way they can make better contracts which can benefit both parties.

Idle life...

Meh....should I say I have no life, or this is my way of life?


Nah...this is typical Ipoh life.

Lazing around. Since I haven't picked myself up to send my beloved PS2 to repairs (coz the dude said he can't tell what's wrong...need a week to diagnose and maybe a week to fix. On top of that, dunno if it's worth fixing.) I've been told it's better to just get a new one, but my mum is saying that if repairs cost half the price of a new machine, we should just fix it. So yeah...she had to say that after I called her and she said to come back from the shop. It's not exactly within my neighbourhood okay?

So, no PS2. What's a bored girl to do? Well, thank goodness for the PS1 emulator. Replaying Tactics and Legend of Dragoon on the desktop now. And by the sound of it, Sam has good news and will come home bearing a great treasure (in the form of FF9) next week. Finally...after goodness knows how many months of downloading. I don't care what other gamers say, FF9 beats FF8 any time of the day for me. So, yesh, that's one thing to look forward to.

I suspect with all these gaming and of course, feasting on lovely food, I probably grew more portly than I'd like to imagine, but hmm...maybe not too. I have a screwed sense of telling size, so yeah, whatever.


Yup...this is the typical Ipoh life. More or less, equivalent to that of a mild case of couch potato and gourmet traveller rolled in one. Now, if you'll excuse me...I'm off to hunt for another book to reread.

PS: I want to go for HP 2nd round...and I'm waiting for GI Joe...

Swell week...

I just came back for less than a week and it's been so "happening"...haih...

Shortly after I arrived home, there was a blackout in my area. Apparently it's been happening pretty often lately. I think the electricity was out for maybe about almost 2 hours?

Then the stray cat we've been feeding (who got pregnant) gave birth behind my house. Technically, inside the compound...and left the kitten there, umbilical cord and all. We were literally running around the house wondering what to do with the kitten, till my mum had the sense to call Luffy's vet and asked him for advice. Turns out that if the kitten was meowing loudly and scrabbling around (which it did) it's probably healthy. So yeah, one sigh of relief. But we have to help it cut the umbilical cord...*gulps*

It was...mystifying, if anything. I wouldn't say I was totally disgusted, but it wasn't the kind of experience you wanna go through again. So I put on the only pair of surgical gloves we have left and struggled with the kitten, trying to get a hold of the cord. It's so feisty, I thought, "Ah, this one is going to live for sure!" So yeah, got a hold of the umbilical cord...obviously, with my hands full of kitten and cord, I didn't do the cutting. My sister grabbed a pair of scissors (which we disposed of later) and cut away...

Done and away with all that, we tried to feed it with some pet formula milk. Future note...straws are lousy, get a dropper. Anyhoo...my mum said if the cat doesn't turn up, I'm gonna have to care for the kitten. Cute as it is, I'm not sure I'm so keen about feeding it and helping it poop. But thankfully, its mum turned up a couple of hours later and carried it off. I think it gave birth to a few more. So there we were, cheering for the reunion, when my sister said, "Ah, we should have taken photos." But yeah..

Then I found out my PS2 is out of commission. AV wouldn't display...argh!! I've checked it through, and it's nothing to do with the TV, nothing to do with the AV cable, which leaves the machine itself...*beep*! My brother's theory was that it short-circuited during the blackout. Which kinda makes sense. So now I'm on a long holiday with no PS...great...

But all is not lost. My sister has somehow gotten hold of FF7, PS1 version. Although, regrettably, my grandfather broke my PS1 when he played with it the last time he came back, Sam downloaded the emulator. So right now, I'm hijacking the desktop until my PS2 gets ported off to repair...or doom be spelled when it's too old to fix. I just got my hands on Abyss and Star Ocean, so I don't care how, but I'm gonna play it.

Time to kick some Shinra ass, so if you please, I'll be off.

Off!

Haa....finally I can breathe a sigh of relief and say "It's finally over!"

Yep, finals are finally over...and we're officially going to be year 3 students next sem. But right how I have some very mixed feelings about that last day. It kinda sucks when you're taking an extra paper, especially if your friends finished early. It's like...missing out on a celebration, yeah? To be honest, after I did my last and final paper, most of friends have already gone off to celebrate their merdeka lol, Just a bit, for a very short moment, I felt a little lonely. But it wasn't all bad. At least, I got to watch Transformers and eat dinner with my aunt.

Then the next thing...I just found out that there's another subject that we have to take, albeit it;s offered free. That's throwing everything off balance...coz this means to finish in a year, I'll have to do my year 5-5-3...which is crazy. I'm not saying it's impossible, but seriously, five subjects in a sem? And for 2 sems in a row? On top of that, I have to think about my thesis too! I'm not exactly keen on killing myself, so this calls for replanning. But of course, this means I have to talk to all parties who are sponsoring my education, haih...

Guess I shouldn't worry about it. I think I'm a little down coz I'm missing family very very much right now. Just till Sat, and I'll be truly home free. Going to get some quick fix comfort *runs off to spazz about Jae*

Rant

I. Should. Be. Studying!


What the heck, man....can't concentrate at all. Just got back from Ipoh on a late evening bus...in all honesty, I don't like travelling by bus at night. Coz I'll have to take the bloody taxi and everything...bleh ><

Anyhow, I'm trying hard to read up, but much of it seems to be flowing out from some hidden crack somewhere...info is leaking out like nobody's business. And it doesn't help that I'm kinda high from watching a whole load of 2PM's 'Niga Mibda' (I Hate You) lives on Youtube. Plus, I'm already thinking about what to do on my holidays....I'm totally not in the exam mood -_-

Gah...

Bleh...not concentrating at all. At this rate, I'm pretty much screwed up for finals....

Wanna drown in songs and dreams and not bother about the 20+ chapters I need to read through.

By the way, had a weird dream last night. Think "Alien" meet "Resident Evil". Dreamt I was stuck in a school-like place (actually, more like a house with a bunch of students in there)...was supposed to be there to talk with the lady in charge. I assumed she was the head? Anyway...while I was there we had to be attacked by a bunch of weird creatures who kinda reminded me of those dog-faced, tentacle aliens from "Aliens". Witnessed one of it tear into the throat of someone outside the building, then immediately an alien burst out of the wound (Yeah, I think I watched too much TV lately...)

Then we were trying to find a way to first, protect ourselves and bar the creatures from coming into the building and then, it became an attempt to escape. It was kinda freaky...it's like living through Resident Evil, coz these aliens can disguise as human beings (har har...) Even if it's just a dream, I really felt the fear and the desire to survive. So the lady principal, one of the older male students and myself tried to find a way to escape. But of course, in 'plots' like these, the aliens end up closing in, and at the very last minute, when we thought we found a way to escape, the male student turned on us...

Turned out he was...infected already. And we're pretty much screwed. Nowhere to run, and hell, no place to hide. So what happens? Well, if you can't beat them, join them...so people say. That's what happens next anyway...

Random...stuff...

Aah....it's 2.47a.m. right now, and I'm just staring blankly at my laptop... I really should sleep. My eyelids are dropping slowly, but I can't sleep yet...I get the feeling I haven't done something yet. Today was really tired for some reason. Was it because I haven't been getting enough sleep? Was it because I have a lot on my mind?

Today was last lecture for a subject that has been endeared to us just by the sole existence of the lecturer. Ah, I'm now thinking, "So there really are times when you go for classes just for the sake of the lecturer." I'm that kind of student. But then again, I don't like skipping classes so I'm not the best person to comment about this. Oh, there was that Indian wedding. Interestting, but too long for a person like me, who can't really sit still. It's really something though...

Jae baby, I'm having a fit laughing at your funky antics in them variety shows...I sometimes wish you weren't that charming. Oh wait...I sometimes wish I'm not so infatuated and fangirly over you. But really, as a person, you really uphold some value to me, and I find that really admirable and attractive.

Ah, I think at times I just want to be like some other people. Then maybe I wouldn't have such misgivings about myself? But the thing is I am who I am, and I will always be, and want to be, who I am. I'm fully capable of acting in a different way, and I wonder if people think I'm strange? Despite showing most of myself to certain people, I'm surprised that they don't seem to know me well. Ah, have you never thought I would act in a certain way? Did you think that based on my outer appearance? Strange, how the more you try to portray yourself fully, the less people can see who you are. Or maybe they don't find the need to? Or am I unconsciously burying parts of myself...you know, hide it from everyone. Strange, but I guess it's human.

I know...I'm just randomly blabbing out stuff right now...I think it's the fact that it's 3a.m. now. Maybe I should go to sleep after this...

Individualistic vs. Collectivitistic?

Was listening to Hannah's "Making the Difference" when I was struck by a little thought.

We're always talking about individualistic and collectivistic cultures, and as Asians (or more precisely, Malaysians) we're proud of the fact that we're from a culture that cares and shares. We perceive problems from the so called Western-aka-individualistic culture as stemming from the fact that they always think of the individual first.

But is it really so bad to be a little individualistic? Not that I'm trying to be negative, but I think any human being would think of their own well-being first. It seems to be a built-in mechanism, but I'm not saying it's a bad thing. If you can't take care of yourself, how can you take care of others? The individualists have an amazing ability to advance themselves, because they're always concerned about how they do, how they can be better, how to improve....and I think that level of assertiveness and self-determination can become very useful.

Being a collectivist means we want to make sure our community gets the best, even if it means sacrificing our own needs. Again, it's not bad at all; in fact, it's a wonderful trait. But being a collectivist also means not standing out...to be another brick in the wall. It also means not being willing to stand up against those whom we call authority, who so-called "guards" our community's needs. However, being a collectivist also means we can accept that there are always extenuating circumstances for other people's intentions...meaning we are far more willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt, while an individualist would be quick to say that the entire responsibility rests with the person.

Right now, the world is at a stage where having the assertiveness of an individualist becomes an advantage. It sells, you see, and assertiveness helps someone avoid getting stepped all over. But at the same time, people are recognising the importance of caring for the needs of others. They are acknowledging the value of building close, supportive relationships and deferring to catering to the needs of someone other than themselves.

After all, the human being has some very unique needs. We need to belong to a group, and we are willing to work to care for the needs of our groups. We want to exemplify ourselves as a member of such a group and therefore, conform to the values and beliefs, which essentially means branding a sort of label on ourselves. But at the same time, we want to be recognised as being different. We want to stand out as having a personality of our own, of being uniquely ourselves in such a way there's not another person like our own self in the world. In essence, we are seeking a balance between being similar and being different. And such a cry is rising in many cultures, as people strive to find the right balance.

So be an individualist with a collectivist's heart, or a collectivist with an individualist's spirit!

Why do we like doing these silly quizzes so much?

Got this quiz thingy from Jas' blog, and the results are the same as hers.

"You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high."

Given my nature, I would expect this to be partly true. I really am sort of conservative about romantic relationships. Having grown up in a girls' school, I'm no stranger to witnessing flings, crushes and puppy love. I have friends who changed boyfriends so frequently I doubt they were in love in the first place. Really, I don't think I can date someone just for the sake of dating.

Maybe that's why I choose to remain...invisible on the radar, to borrow a friend's words. I'm the type that'll fall right in when I'm in a relationship, so in a way, I guess I'm really serious about it. Some people say it's a killjoy and that it's not realistic, that it's just dating, not choosing a life partner. Oh, really now? Maybe it's my beliefs, or my experience that makes me feel this way, but there's no point rushing, you know...I'll be lying if I say I don't want to be romantically involved, but I don't want to get hurt either. It's not like there's any guy after me, after all (Really, sometimes you wonder if guys ever look past appearances...) so I'm not rushing.

So, yeah, I'm unrealistic. Maybe that's why I daydream about Jae. XD He's unreachable, yes, but that's precisely why it's safe, coz I know it's not something possible. Hey, a girl can dream right? XD

Updatezzzz...

Because someone said I never update my blog....here I am, lol. I know, really lame reason to update, but really, my life isn't so exciting that there's anything I wanna say.

Basically it's been nothing but study nowadays. That worries me, because it's a sign that I have no life, hahaha... But some interesting things have happened over the weekend. We'll start with the boring one. I'll be leading a team in organising an educational game exhibition under the department. When I say team, I mean 5 of us, but hey...everything starts small yeah? Looking at the expectations a good sir is having, I know I'm in for a lot of work. But I'm glad, coz it's a real opportunity to expand my horizon. Like my dear friend said, be an opportunist!

Done with the drab and on with the drama. My sister gave all of us a mighty shock when she became unreachable for a day. My parents have been trying to contact her, and she didn't reply any of the messages nor answered any calls. That was in the morning. Towards the evening, my brother and I started calling and indeed, she wasn't picking up! My parents were up in KL for an event, and by the time it has ended, it was 10+ at night and still no replies. *cue imminent panic*

In a fervent effort to reach her, I called up a friend in Ipoh to ask her to check online. Lo and behold, she wasn't online!! FYI, my sister is always online, unless she is physically parted from her darling laptop. And so mayhem ensued, eliciting (in my case) calls to friends, vague acquaintances, even total strangers, (in my mum's case) friends with kids studying at Kampar, friends who lived somewhere near Kampar while my brother tried time and time again to call her phone. It wasn't that the call didn't get through, but she wasn't picking up. At that point, any well-meaning mum will start imagining things, and really...it's not pleasant. It was a public holiday the next day, so many of her friends had gone back to their hometowns. My mum was contemplating driving back to Kampar to check on her, and my dad was so distracted he ran a red light and got the police on our tail (no, seriously).

At last, upon reaching my place (it was already 12+, btw) mum's friend has managed to get hold of someone who can help us go check on my sister. Only thing is, he lives 30 mins away, and the relationship between that friend and this person is....not at its best. And so, the person drove there, arrived at my sister's place and called for her. And guess what? My genius sister was at home! Turned out she forgot to turn the silent mode off, and her phone does not vibrate when silent. On top of lousy connections and the fact the phone was on the floor, she was playing online games and so did not go online on MSN or whatever.

.............What could I say? We were mighty relieved, but we were royally pissed too. She probably took several years off our lives (God forbid), had half the Ipoh and Kampar population wondering and worrying for her, and probably a quarter of KL too. No surprise, of course, the moment she got online, we bombarded her. Well, I think it's partly her fault, and partly her phone's fault. It needs to retire soon. But she was sorry, so I guess one has to just accept that....sisters after all.

Well, that's all for updates. Maybe I'll come again soon, if anything interesting happens.

PS: To the someone who wonders why I don't update, I did, just not on this blog.

Inspirational

A mistake is only a mistake if you make it twice.

:)

Bleh...

Sleepy....

Tired....

Bleh, it's midnight and I'm reading *beep* journals....

But at least, earlier just now I went for Ps Kong's service...it was great! Great, funny, sometimes right in your face, but the message never fails to be heartmoving and inspiring. I think I laughed my way through the service, but I still left the hall with his words ringing in my head.

So I guess this was a case of humour successfully retaining memory. But seriously, there's a lot of talk about relationships nowadays. And what with just having attended my godbrother's wedding the other day, I don't really wanna talk about the relatives la...

Haih...to all the many questions asked...here's what I have to say. It's not as easy as whether I want to or not, but if I don't know what I want, then what do you want me to do? It's not really in my hands!

><

Sleeeeeeppppyyyyy....

Tiireeeeeeeeedddddd....

Dinner~~

I'm hunggggggrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy....and here's dinner~~

ふりかけチャーハンで~す!

Haha, it's the furikake that I got from sensei~~

Since I only have white rice and eggs...decided to make fried rice topped with the furikake. It looks nice. So without further ado...itadakima~~su!

Serial killer dreams??

Gah...too much brain activity lately. I keep having serial killer dreams lately. Gosh, one of them even features a 7-8 year old kid as an organised serial killer who committed suicide in the end. What the...I blame all the studying, and I'm not even taking PSY308. -_-;;;

On the contrary, I've been having some pretty pleasant dreams too, normally in succession with those serial killer dreams (shows you what sort of rubbish I put in my brain). Ah well, I guess it's interesting to note.

LOLness

OH MEH HOLY COW!!!

This is evidence that I've been obsessing over 2PM and Jaebum too much lately:

I dreamt about meeting Jaebum in person!!! >< *dies from hyperventilating* But I think I've been reading too many fan accounts, coz the dream me went and asked for theirs autographs lol! Now I wished I could have lucid dreams, but hey, at least I got to see Jay. XD

Yes, looks like I'm going nuts.

2PM - Hottest Time of the Day

Haha, in my last post I talked a little about a new Korean group. I know, I know...I just had a new band to craze over not so long ago. I haven't forgotten SID...they had released a new single, 『嘘』 (Lies), but since they're having their Spring Tour now, there isn't much news about them so far...



People, call me fickle if you will, but check out this group!

This is 2PM, and the pic from their debut single cover "Hottest Time of the Day". Guess I'll talk about the members before I go into their music. From the left of the pic, Junsu (yeah, exact same spelling as DBSK's Junsu) who's touted as the member with the greatest vocal ability, Chansung, the youngest member (reminds me of Changminnie with his height and huge appetite, lol), Wooyoung, joker of the group with great dancing ability. Center is my personal fav, leader Jaebum (who's actually born and raised in the US), one of the most talented dancers in this group with lotsa b-boy experience. Next up, Thai prince Nickhun (American-Thai-Chinese), the 'face' of 2PM, as he introduces the existence of 2PM through the variety shows he's involved in, Taecyeon, standing at 185cm, hails from Boston, and of course, Junho, who really resembles Rain, but don't brush him off just coz he looks like him. His dancing ability is superb!

There are 6 tracks in their single, with their title song being "10점 만점에 10점" (10 points out of 10). Those who like songs with great rhythm and strong beats, something you can dance to, this song ain't shabby. Personally, when I first heard it, it wasn't quite my taste, but it's really catchy after a while. In fact, the best way to listen to this is to check out the MV or the lives. The dancing is too great to be missed. The single comes with an old school version and an instrumental version of this song.

The next song is a sweet ballad with an underlying tone of hip hop in it, and this is the song where I can really hear the vocal quality of the members. Since my first impression was "They sure can dance, but I can't hear nuts from the singing", I was really surprised by how stable their vocals were in "Only You". The lives were pretty good too. The next song, "Angel" is my favourite by far. With strong hip hop beats, it's the kind of song that makes you get onto your feet and dance, whether you know how to or not.

LOL, it looks as though I just wrote a promo piece on their single or something. But hey, a cool group is a cool group, and they look like they'll go far. Actually, 2PM has a brother band called 2AM, together, they're called OneDay. But unlike 2PM, who specialises in upbeat dance songs, 2AM is a ballad group. Maybe I'll talk about them in the next post. Till then, ciaoz!

Not feeling well...

Feeling really bleh lately...body doesn't seem to be keeping up with the amount of work I'm doing. My sleeping hours have been shifted to like...2, 3 a.m. even though I normally have class early the next day. My circadian rhythm is all screwed up right now. I'm surviving all the lost hours on pure will, stress and lots and lots of sugar. No wonder my body is feeling out of shape.

T_T Wish I could just drop whatever I have and just sleep and chill out, but I've got way too much to do...and I've come this far. I just need to survive for another 3 weeks. >< Hang on there, girl! After that, you can take your rest!

By the way, thanks to KM for showing me an interesting video, I've been checking out a Korean group called 2PM lately. Personally, the music is...not quite my kind? Well, it'll be more accurate to say that I think there's definitely room for improvement in terms of singing. But I really love their dances! They're definitely a group with huge dancing talent, and there's a characteristic acrobatics touch to their choreography.

The other Korean groups (like DBSK or Shinee) I'm into typically dance well too, but if I were to pick whether I prefer their vocals or their moves...I'd say their vocals. But 2PM has a very strong element of dance. Every member has a unique style and all of them can groove really well. It's also the first non-SM group I've come to notice. Looking forward to their growth as a group!

New discovery!

Hahaha, it's finally that time again. The time I discover a new artiste I like and start fangirling like crazy. Righto, the music highlight of the month is this band:

Jrock band シド (SID)!!

From the left: Yuuya (Dr), Shinji (Gt), Mao (Vo) and Aki (Bass Gt). Guess my fav? XD

Haha, have been reeeaallly into them lately. Started off listening to Black Butler's OP, Monochrome Kiss...was really attracted to the style, so I checked out other songs by SID. Being relatively young in the scene of Jrock, I'm surprised they have settled on their own music style already. Started off as a Visual Kei rock band, they've dropped the image since 2006, so now they're going major. SID's music tend to lean to rock, but with some jazz infusions, so I find it refreshing.

Of course, Mao's vocals won me over with his somewhat 'light' voice. It's quite a big contrast from all the 'heavy' and breathy vocals I normally hear from Jrock. Likes of Gackt, Nightmare and even Larc tend to have really deep, heavy vocals...in a way, I guess their voice is the 'rough' type. Mao's vocals lean towards a lighter, somewhat smoother feel. His powerful vocals can carry off the genre they play, and he can still sing light-hearted songs with a pop-like feel. (LOL, ok, I admit it. I'm pimping 'em)

Of course, it'd be weird to talk about SID's vocalist. The other band members are great too. Aki and Shinji play really well, and a distinct feature in their music seem to be the guitar riffs. And Yuuya...well, he's one crazy dude, but he does the drums real cool. For all the music they've done so far, Mao writes the lyrics and Aki does most of the compositions...Shinji does some of it, sometimes. Of course, the one thing that really set them apart in my eyes is that they really can perform live well! That's like, a super important aspect I like to look at, and it's really interesting coz Mao sounds as he does in the records, which I think is really good. Many artistes sound good on the records, but they can't deliver in the lives...but SID carries it off well.

Haha, end of pimping session. XD But seriously, if you have a taste for Jrock, but find the music in the scene a little too much for you, I suggest giving SID a try. The songs they have are quite diverse, from the usual heavy Jrock fanfare to mellow ballads. Some recommendations: 涙の温度 (Namida no Ondo) and 夏恋 (Natsukoi).

-

I'm sorry, guys...sorry...sorry....

*Interesting* V-day...

V-day...the day where people (esp guys) open up their wallets and drain their life savings on goodness-knows-what in the name of love. Isn't if overrated, how we choose this one day to show our affection for loved ones by being extravagant? I mean, we can show affection in many ways, and certainly not just on this one day. But no, I told myself not to be judgemental. Those who have those significant others to spend it with, I'm sure you enjoyed each other's company. Those who are like me would probably have either spent the day enjoying one's own company, or went out with your friends ala singles' night out.

But alas! My plan of having a fairly uneventful V-day was disrupted by a fairly bizarre and shocking incident! I was much disoriented after that...but being me, decided not to let it bother me...till after my evening out anyway. Service was funny, actually, since Ps made some really hillarious allusions to us female species, and gave advice to the guys that they all paid close attention to while the girls laughed knowingly. After that, it was 'makan' time, then I headed home...my plans for the night drawing to an end. Of course, there was that issue to deal with still...but some advice and sleep sorted it, and it has been taken care of since.

What about you? Anything interesting?

PS: I really kinda wish I had a camera phone...or a decent camera with me nowadays. It's when you hang out with your friends like this that you wanna take a snap and realise that, "Drats! No camera!"

PPS: I soooo want to play Dissidia Final Fantasy. Now I wanna get a PSP just to play this game, dang it! It's literally a fangirl's dream come true, to see your fav FF characters ditch it out cross-universe. Personally, the fact that I can finally see Zidane and Kuja rendered in 3D reminiscent of Advent Children is icing on the cake. If you haven't seen the intro video, I recommend you Youtube it...the visuals are breathlessly beautiful.

Some DFF wallies; top one is the hero wallie, bottom villians.

Gah...

Oh dear Lord, are you playing a trick on me? Of all days, today too! >< What am I to make of this weird turn of events?

And So, 2009 is Here...

Time flies by so quickly. As one reflects on the year, it becomes clear that there are things one wished one has done, and silly mistakes one wished one has not committed. Yet, as time flows without stopping....forward, unto the shapeless future ahead, there is nothing but reflection, for no change can be brought unto a decision that has already been executed.

Precisely because of the fact that we can't change the past, we need to reflect. It has been a quiet transition into the new year...quietly slipping as the seconds dripped by, and without really realising, nor really caring, 2008 came to an end, and 2009 begins. It has become less imminent, the sense of time...at least, for now it matters not to me what time of the day or what day of the week it is. But soon, I shall have to return to the world where time moves at a pace where things flash by, a world where time is a commidity, scarce as it is.

Life moved sluggishly for me this past week, yet the time disappears quickly without my realisation. As 2008 came to a close, the year...long, inconsistent, full of events...yet strangely with not much memory of it. Strange, the concept of time is such that one year is not long, yet it seems to me so far away that I wonder if it was not a few years ago... Stranger still my inability to remember most part of the year...or perhaps, life was not of such significance till now...at least, not it my memory.

The new year has come, signalling the advent of a decade. And as I prepare to fall back into life as a student, I wonder....how will I be changed by this year?