Here, There, Everywhere

This holiday has been marked by mum's trademark sense of adventure, which means I've spent my holidays so far by travelling up and down the place. Starting off from the final day of exam, family came down to help me move house. Love my new place, really. It's a great environment. Then promptly the next day after finals, we head down south to Malacca. Spent the day walking through Stadhius (or was it spelt with a 'Y'? I can't remember...) museum. It was pretty interesting, actually. Then walked around the Dataran Pahlawan mall...never been there before, I think it's a new mall. Of course, what is a trip to Malacca if we don't take a walk down Jonker street? So we did at night.

Next day, we head back to KL round the evening. And of course, mum engaged in her favourite activity, which was shopping...in the Curve. She was even shopping for CNY clothes...-_-;; Come a new day, it was off to Bukit Tinggi! Well, well, this was different from the previous trip we had. Since we went to Colmar the last time, this time we headed off for some activities, first of which was archery. It was a lot of fun learning to shoot arrows, and I dare say I'm quite inclined to the sport (Hey, I hit the centre area, okay? *gets whacked for bragging*) Next we went bowling, at the same complex. My brother was sure having fun. My hand was already aching when we finished the first game, so I opted to just watched as my younger siblings rolled off the second round. Then we went swimming. It was freaking cold there, goodness...and I hadn't gone swimming since I don't know when! By the time I got out of the pool, my joints were hurting and my limbs were pretty sore.

Then, the next day, after we came down the hill, it was off to Midvalley for another bout of shopping....it's only the first week, but I'm already struggling to keep up with my mum. But we survived it...somehow. The weekend came and we were to go to grandma's place. Sunday was also fast coming, and I was praying for the bursary. Since Sam wanted to go to CF this year, and the two younger ones wanted to stay at grandma's (for the Wii of course...), this meant that mum and I walked the new wing of Pyramid, shopping again. I think I must have walked more miles in those few days than the entire month put together.

Then news came...I've got the bursary, so it was off to church on Sunday, but we have to rush because grandma wanted to have the new year lunch (I don't know what you call it in English...we eat the 'tang yuen' on that day) Then it was back to Ipoh....

Finally, back home after who knew how long...home is still the most relaxing place to be, filling me with a kind of nostalgia that makes me walk into every room in the house, just soaking up the atmosphere of home...to just laze around with a book on the sofa, to play the PS2 till someone complains that it's their turn, to watch TV on the bed....guess I miss home more than I realised.

Of course, given mum's nature, we won't settle in the house. After rounding south, it's time to head north. Penang, here we come. Departing early, we arrived in Penang in time for brunch and headed off to Queensbay Mall. We hung around till it was time to check in and drove to town...but somehow got lost. Well, mum insisted she wasn't, since she's been to Penang so often, but due to the many back lanes and one-way streets...we found ourselves going round and round, not able to find the hotel. So I did the only thing I knew how to do...call for help (Yes, I called Sebastian...coz I can't think of anyone else who know Penang roads as well as him.) And hurray! We found the hotel! But no resting on our laurels, coz next stop was Gurney Plaza. I know...crazy hectic, aren't we? But hey, I only have two weeks holiday...gotta make full use of it. So now, today, we just came back from Penang...got on a ferry since a long time (saw lots of jellyfish too) and resting at home. As far as I know...these few days would be reserved for recuperating my feet at home. But mum probably won't sit still for long...

Good luck!

Exams are coming! As I type this, I'm trying to read up my PSY201 notes... Too many things to remember...and I haven't gone through my PSY209 notes either. Her slides are so hard to read! ><

On one hand, most of the things I'm reading seems to look familiar, so I'm hoping that I can crap something out during exams. I need to maintain my performance now that I have to account myself to an organization...haih... Well, good luck to everyone who's taking their finals. Sure hope all goes well. Minna ganbatte! XD

Little blessings

Blessings come in all shapes and sizes....so I came to realise yesterday.

It was colloquium...my maiden Colloquium presentation. For once, I finally understand how it feels like to be the one talking up there instead of listening to all the mind-boggling terms. But perhaps it is because of this knowledge that "Hello? Me first-year, me no understand" that I feel prepared for all the possible questions. (Like a question by an actual 1st year asking me what's counterbalancing....launched into PSY105 tutor mode...XD) Both presentations went well (at least, I felt like I gave it my best shot) and the later chairing sessions went on okay too. Ms. Winnee was right, I can always find questions to ask...to all whose sessions I've chaired or attended, hope I didn't scare you too badly. I don't ask for the sake of asking, just so you know. But the main point here lies in a few things....

Blessing #1: Ai Rene 'belanja' me lunch. This really makes me feel really blessed, coz I've hit total rock bottom financially. I came for Colloquium prepared to skip lunch and (hopefully) survive till 6 something when I reach home. But she offered to pay for my lunch, so felt blessed. Thanks, neon! XD

Blessing #2: I won one of the Best Speaker Awards! I admit that I hoped very much to get it, but I didn't actually thought I would. Thanks to the people who made me stay till 6!

Blessing #3: It was a Saturday...no bus = have to walk all the way home. Not exactly something I was looking forward to since I brought my laptop + I was in heels. I was anticipating (with no small amount of dread) the walk home, when Sebastian offered to fetch me home. Thanks!

To some people, it might seem like really small things. But for me, these things came when I was in need, so really felt blessed in a way. I don't know if it's because it's Arise & Build, or I was just being oversensitive lately, but really, I'm very grateful to all those little blessings I've been receiving...

Like all those people who've graciously lent me their laptops when I needed to finish my assignments...

Like every person who've sat down to listen to my worries...

Like those times when I needed transportation to CG and church, and despite how tired you were, you still fetched me....to this person, thanks lots...

Many times, we expect large, tangible blessings, but blessings can be something as simple as having people around you. And when you hit a rut, look at it again, and you might just find a blessing in it. Today was first fruits weekend...all I have in my wallet was my first fruits offering, which I didn't allow myself to spend because it belonged to God. I don't have anymore cash, and there's still another week before my allowance comes in. But I shall persevere and have faith in the Lord who is my Provider! This season is an opportunity to increase in faith, and I'm sure that even as I continue to give, He will bless me spiritually.

And a special thanks to Lynnette...I really didn't plan to talk about that topic...but somehow I found myself able to open up to you and confessed in you my insecurities. Thanks for listening.

Lastly, just to show you....

A Borders gift card! The prize from Colloquium~

Look! Twins!! Why do I end up with orange stuff? I'm not Naruto...

Imma BACK ON!

I'm BAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!! After ONE WHOLE MONTH with no lappeh, and no internat (goodness knows how I survived...-_-;;;) my lappeh is finally back!!!! Time to get around updating myself again~~

A little breather in between...

I'm back in Ipoh after a long week...with the intention of writing my 205 essay while I'm here.... But this scatterbrain had somehow forgot to bring her textbook with her....and I really hate having to write an essay from the middle to the end. (I like my essays organised, which means I have to write them from the beginning to the end....usually in one sitting)

It's been raining a lot this week....but I like it like that. It's not too hot...though it does make travelling a little inconvenient. The rain puts me in a quiet sort of mood....which may be what I need after a packed 2 weeks. The next 2 weeks still look pretty packed...and I know some people are on the verge of burning out. Guess the weekend is the time to unwind a little...for those who have time. Those who are...occupied...just hope you can take 15 minutes to be away and be with yourself.... The rain helps me with it.

I normally can't stand being alone, but the rain caresses a part of me and I'm blanketed in a warmth that I usually cannot feel when I'm by myself. I wonder where have I heard of this phrase...God is in the rain...

Since I can't do my essay, which sucks, but I suppose I can go read up those journals for 201...and just take the opportunity to relax.

The JB Experience

This weekend was in JB with the rest of the H-Factor crew for the workshop. It's amazing, really, how just one workshop can impact your life. I may not be a participant, but ever since I came back from the Penang workshop, I feel that something inside me has changed. Perhaps it was the hustle and bustle around the job, or maybe the feeling of being able to travel to another place, or maybe even the fact that one could work with local celebrities...I don't know the actual reason, but it sparked a fire within me.

It was...different. I haven't been involved in events since the charity concert in the Summit. Despite the fact that both were events, both included celebs and stuff...I could feel the acute difference. What was it about H-Factor that made my blood rush and my adrenaline flow? How was it that despite just having several hours of sleep, I still had the energy and enthusiasm to bounce around and smile to everyone? It was so strong, this feeling...something I couldn't place, something I couldn't identify. I decided that maybe I was just plain excited and left it at that.

But coming back to KL after Penang, it was as though something in me became loose. I was restless. I wasn't supposed to be able to go to JB. In fact, I was supposed to be attached to another event going on in KL. The Global Peace Festival was an event which I have been following up since the middle of the year. My interest was simple...to help and to learn. But no matter how many times I contacted the organisers...they didn't seem keen on letting me help on the actual day itself. I tried to be patient and agreed to their suggestions, which was to help out with other projects taking place before the event. I continued to ask, stating as clearly as possible without sounding rude that my interest was in the day itself, and that my area of strength was dealing with people, or ushering. They tried to get me to do persuasive marketing, which was definitely not my best skill.

So on Thursday, I gave the organisers another call. I asked again. This time, they suggested I join a 3-day workshop and community service. Look, it's not that I hate it or something, but I made it very clear that it was not what I wanted to do. I wasn't crazy over the workshop, I wanted experience! So I made up my mind, called my mum and by the grace of God, somehow got her permission to go to JB. Then I called sensei to tell her that I wouldn't be attending GPF. Next, I told Leo that I wanted to go to JB to help.

This was the feeling...the urge, the inexplicable desire to do something that I know had meaning. It was my choice and my decision, and God gave me the opportunity to try. I felt like this was it. So I went to JB with Leo and the rest. I met a wonderful girl called Kiko. When we met on the bus, the first thing we talked about was horoscopes! Haha, Mika, you might enjoy chatting with her. We went really in-depth about horoscope and personality...touching lightly on psychology and spirituality. I was amazed to learn that she's a Scorpio...and much later in the day, I found out that Hannah was a Scorpio too....I'm surrounded by Scorpions, seriously. I have no idea why, hahahaha!

The experience in JB was very different from Penang. During the island trip, it was crazy! Everything was rushed, hectic...I was wonderfully busy. Although I worked myself till I was worn out, the sense of fulfillment was nothing like I ever felt. I felt that I had finally done something I like. JB was more laidback...there was no crazy rush, not much preps needed since most of it had been done. But the workshop wasn't as widely attended as the Penang workshop. We were all anxious and worried, most were frustrated. I was at first, but gradually I came to rationalise the situation as something that was more circumstancial (external attribution, LOL). Penang and JB had different audiences, so as to speak. Perhaps we have not addressed the needs of the JB audience and therefore, unable to lure their interest. There were many other things which crossed my mind, but the thought that stayed with me the strongest was simply the idea that maybe we're just in the wrong place with the wrong crowd for the wrong thing. Maybe JB just was not as interested in the creative industry as Penangites. Maybe folks in JB were more business-oriented.

Perhaps because I rationalised it this way, I didn't feel really bad. While some might feel pretty upset, I was able to say, "Hey, this is a learning experience too. Be grateful that you had the chance to go through something like this with a team you're familiar with." I was able to be involved in a successful event, and a not-so-successful one. It's a valuable experience! For me, being able to learn from it is most important. Of course, I understand that this was an event, so the small attendance was really something that sets off the workshop. But if this workshop could touch the lives of those few who came, won't it be meaningful? Somehow, this thought lifted my mood, and I somehow managed to stay calm throughout the whole workshop. Although this time I was assigned to registration, I learnt something new, so it was good. I still managed to treat the participants genuinely, and that meant a lot to me. If I can't be genuine to people, then why even bother being here? It's the ATTITUDE that matters.

More than anything, the crew and the speakers really had the opportunity to bond. Most of us never dealt with the speakers. I bet none of us will forget that Saturday night any time soon...when all of us were in a bus on the way to dinner, listening to Pietro cracking jokes, and David getting teased. Personally, when Hannah sat down near Kiko and I and talked to us, I felt like she really did care. It wasn't the kind of conversation where people try to make small talk about various small things, but it was like she really did want to know how we're doing and all. I was sitting right behind David and Fellest and had the opportunity to chat with them a little. It was really interesting to listen to them talk, and I realised that no matter where we come from, what we do and how different we maybe, essentially we're all people. One and the same...human race.

Now that I'm back, I really feel that I've found something I like. Being someone who's not into boring, routine work, this has been an all-new, totally exciting experience for me. Thanks, Leo, for giving me an oportunity. Thanks to all the other crew members for being such wonderful people who didn't mind it when this little chatterbox pestered you, be it for instructions or for my own social needs. Thanks to David and Pietro for providing us with plenty of laughter, thanks to Serena C for that little conversation in the restroom XD. Thanks Reymee, for being such a sweet person, thanks Hans and Harith, though I never made conversation, but you guys really made the workshop roll. Thanks Joey, for being so friendly and warm to us, thanks Fellest, for being such a nice, charming guy. And saving the best for the last, a huge ありがとう to Hannah, for making me feel like I did make a difference.

I might not be able to join you guys in KK (believe me, I really, really want to...) but my prayers go with you as you guys work your magic in KK (no pun intended XD). May all the preparations go smoothly, the participants interested and interactive, may all of you impact their lives, and have fun while doing that. Most of all, I pray that all of you will have a safe journey there, and a safe journey back. Amen!

Wonderful weekend with the H-Factor crew!

For the first time of my life, I went off to another state without teling my mum (though I tentatively 'asked' my dad without him knowing I was asking). Went to Penang during the weekend to help out with the H-Factor Workshop.

I was really excited the whole time. As a result, I was brimming with energy and I couldn't settle down. Maybe I annoyed some of the crew with my 'hyper'-ness. Whoops if I did. But that aside, it was a total blast! Woke up really early to prepare for departure (and I went for church musical last night too....tired gila...). Together with the rest of the crew, we departed in vans.

Journey was....fairly uneventful *crosses fingers*. Couldn't sleep much, coz van was pretty bumpy. Then at around 11 something 12, we arrived at the prestigious G Hotel. This hotel is really awesome, everything is just so up to par! So basically we were assigned to our rooms. I roomed with Manda...then we went to lunch. Buffet was good too...while eating, Hannah came to brief us about what we were to do on that day.

So we went about the schedule for that day, with the main event being the promotion of H-Factor at Queensbay Mall. It was an absolutely new experience for me. I might be able to give an impromptu presentation in class, but hey! Talking to total strangers was really unnerving even for me. I mean, you have to walk up to these people and prepare yourself to get blasted and possibly rejected. But the hardest is always only the first step, so after I warmed up on a couple of students who already heard of the event (I didn't really started off at the right footing, but never mind, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger) I moved on to other shoppers. Basically just did what I normally would do with these situations...grit my teeth and just do it! It gradually got easier after a few times, and though I didn't sell no tickets, I 'sold' a lot of flyers, and those whom I aproached looked mainly interested but unable to decide.

Then Hannah and soem of the oher VIP speakers came to help promote H-Factor too. We had Reymee, Fellest (or is it Fellast?) (KM, you'd know him...the P24 Urban Groove dancer), David Lai the mentalist and Joey Khor, graphic designer and animator of HUE. Basically, they played some games and talked a little about the workshop. Gave away loads of freebies...Fellest pulled off a cool routine with his crew member, Eddie, while David wowed (and freaked) the audience with his tricks. I mean, this man can bend spoons just by looking at them!

After the whole thing, we wrapped up, head back to the hotel and walked over to Gurney Drive and ate at the hawker stalls there. Had a really great time being surprised by Isabelle's amazing appetite. The guys went totally crazy....after 6 plates of 'oo jian' they just got high or something. Started laughing like crazy and playing around. Guess boys will be boys...while we girls can only either laugh, cringe or both at them. Oh Regina, me finally tasted 'oo jian', but it wasn't really my thing la. After we makan kenyang-kenyang, we head back and straightaway went to the ballroom to get briefed. Then we just helped out setting the place up and stuff....went back to our rooms at like 1+. By the time I bathed and prepared the stuff for the next day...when I hit the pillows it was alredy 2-ish.

Woke up at like, 5.45 am to get ready. The bed was so comfy I didn't want to get up, but hey, there's a long day ahead. Went down to breakfast with the rest of the peeps, then started a super long day of work. We were literally just running around doing whatever we can to help. Let me tell you...putting pencils into 386 bags 1 by 1 is crazy...I nearly went nuts doing it. Kept checking to see if I accidentally slipped in 2 pencils instead of 1 or even worse, no pencils at all! OCDnya aku! Then went straight into ushering. I think I spent the first half of the workshop escorting people to the restrooms.

But my duties aside, the workshop was awesome!! It's nothing like I've seen before, you know, celebs coming to teach you how to do their jobs. It's really something to see Serena C and Pietro live, or listen to Harith Iskander, or seeing Hans Isaac in person. And they're all really nice too! The Penang crowd was simply amazing. They were so responsive and interactive; they're not shy to ask questions or make comments.

Throughout the day, I went on doing my stuff without really remembering how tired I am or if I was hungry. the only thing that distracted me was my aching feet...coz I had to usher in heels so yeah...if you rarely wear heels, try walking about and standing in it for 12 hours straight. But when people came over, you can really forget about pain in an effort to be of service to others.

When it ended, we had a short photo op, and wow! The sheer amout of people (of course la, 300+ participants wor...) As I expected, all the girls flocked towards Fellest, and the guys towards Hannah. Then the crew took some pics as well and those who had exams/classes/presentation tomorrow all rushed back to KL right after that. Was really hectic but hey! It was cool!

Although I was really tired, but it was a super enjoyable experience. I learned a lot over the weekend and I'm really thankful that Leonard gave me this opportunity. I'm looking forward to more for the future! And if you're curious about H-Factor, just log on to this website: http://www.h-factor.info/

Why?

It looks like this is the year of food scandals, with the latest one being the China milk scandal. Hmm...China seems to be quite "prone" to this, don't you think? I'm sure plenty has been reported in the news considering how wide the impact is. The issue of putting melamine in milk is really crazy. Melamine is used to make plastic people...I'm sure that kinda tells you that you're not supposed to put it in food?

I don't understand how people can do that. For the sake of lowering production rates, they'd put cheap chemicals into their products. For the sake of maximising profit, they'd stick in stuff that'll "boost" the quantity but kill the quality. For the sake of money, they are willing to risk thousands and thousands of lives. Just in this milk scandal alone, how many thousand babies have suffered? Just in this scandal alone, how many products have to be recalled all over the world? China isn't the only country consuming its own products!

Why is it that people are so obsessed with making money that they fail to see the beyond the figures? How is it that people are so bloody keen on getting rich that they can ignore the possible consequences of their actions? Surely they know that melamine is dangerous to health! Why can't people just do things the old-fashioned way? If you want to get rich, then work for it! Why try for a shortcut than can potentially kill your future or the future of others?

People have fallen sick. Babies are chronically ill before they even know how to walk. Babies died...how cruel is the world that those who just entered into life as healthy beings should have to leave it again because of someone else's irresponsibility and greed...that their life and future were snatched away from them before they could what it was...that their dreams had to end before they ever had a chance to express it....

For the sake of material craving, many things were sacrificed...lives, principles, trust...things which can never be gained through material offerings. Now, the very thing they were chasing have eluded them. What consequences await them in the future? I don't know, but surely, those who still have a heart would have suffered their own selves already...for who can live with the guilt of taking lives and still be whole?r

Unbelievable stories

This is unbelievable. I've only been in this house for...32 hours...but just now, the roof came down. To be exact, a panel fell from the roof. Now water is dripping onto the second floor...outside our rooms...aigoo~ I haven't even been here long enough to do the laundry, and I'm already regretting picking this house. But for the sake of distance and price....I'll endure till I find somewhere more decent. I thought as long as I stay in my room, my own corner I'll be fine, but it looks like certain things can't be avoided. Aish...

The hole in the roof...you can see...something...

The bucket we're using to collect the dripping water...next to it, you can see the fallen panel.

Then the night before I moved in, my mum came down to KL to help me move my stuff. So we ended staying one night at the Sri Puchong Hotel...opposite side of the road to Dae Jang Gum. And close to 1 something 2 am, there was a huge row downstairs. I was already asleep but the noise woke me up. Guess what made the noise? It was a woman screaming angrily. I was like, waking up and "Who's making that racket? I want to sleep..." My mum and bro were also up at that point, then we heard something like glass breaking. So my mum got curious and opened the window to see what's happening. I couldn't hear nuts...I only hear some lady screaming at someone else, and doors slamming. I was like, "Ugh, a Hong Kong drama at 2 am in the morning..." I don't care, I want to go back to sleep...and I did. Next morning, my mum asked the receptionist what happened last night. She tried to deny anything happened, but of course, no one digs out the truth like ol' mum. Apparently, the lady who was screaming yesterday caught her husband having an affair. The husband brought the woman to the hotel, and the wife found out. So lo and behold, a melodrama in the middle of the night...breaking glass, slamming doors and yelling. Plus, it seems my mum managed to comprehend some of the words the lady was screaming. I won't repeat it here due to its inappropriateness. But it sure is interesting to know that melodramas happen in real life too.

Lastly, before I shoot off to sleep, just a lil' glimpse of my corner~

Birthday surprises

Whee~~ last Friday had been really nice. 誕生日からね~~

The gang gave me a bracelet-sorta thingy (sorry, can't recall the exact name for it), it's red and has a cross on it so lol! Thanks guys! Then they 'pakat' and had the class sing me a birthday song. I thought it was weird when Mika asked me if I wanna go to the loo together. XD But thanks anyway, that made me really happeh~~

Then at night, had cell group. Incidently, another cell member had the same birthday as I do. After cell, they brought out a cake and celebrated with us. I got a good book as a present too! Then we went to 'yamcha' after that. Guess who I saw? First group was, if KM remembers, the bassist from my church, and his brother, one of the vocalists of the worship team. The one who stood out the most? Anyway, they were with their cell members too. Then lo and behold! To my utter surprise I saw Leonard and Adeline, together with one of our BPsych classmates, Leong (sorry, only remember his surname, hope it's not wrong). Apparently, Hannah Tan had an event at a venue just round the corner, so he dropped by after. Managed to talk to him a bit.

Oh oh, ppl, OCT 10-12 there's a musical in my church. Wanna invite you guys to come along, so keep your calendars free for one of those days!

IMU Cheerleading Finals + Money Issues

Went to the IMU Cheerleading Finals on Froday with my cell members. Was pretty exciting to watch. There was some problems with the PA system, so the last three teams performing lost audio at some point, but they did a really good job handling the situation, especially the final team, Phoenix. All the other teams were good too, all in a different sense. Some used more props, others emphasised more on stunts. Had a really good time, considering that I bumped into some old high school friends there. Didn't know they were in IMU...

Aside from that, my week has been filled with thought to say the least. Money is ranking tops on my worry list now...considering that I still have half of my fees to pay...not sure if we can come out with the money by the end of the month. Wondering if I should go out and look for a weekend job, but what difference will it make? I need the time for my studies...I can't afford to slip any more in my grades if I wanna aim for scholarships in the future.

Money...it's not everything in the world, but you can't live without it. That's the reality of it. It's really frustrating that it's one thing I normally don't care much about, but the one thing I really need now. I can't do anything nor control anything regarding my financial issues, and my parents said the same thing. I really can't help much, I know. But it doesn't stop me from worrying.

For now, all I can do is to do my part, the best as I can. In my case, that would mean to study well...to make sure that all the money my parents invested in my education is not wasted. I will do my best to live fully, without faltering, standing strong to support those who have expectations of me.

A fleeting thought...

Do you believe in God and the Devil? Where does the Devil come from? Does he not come from the Creator? The devil’s origin is not known, but his purpose – to wreck havoc and tempt man into sin – is well-discussed all over the world. Yet, from whence does Satan come? Is Satan and the devil the same? What of his other names, Lucifer, the fallen angel? Or Beelzebub or Belphegor or whatever other names he had been given? Are those all the same devil? Or are they all separate entities which have been associated with him? We know not the origin of the creature which ill-advised Eve to partake in the forbidden fruit. But do you not think that if God is Creator, that the devil too originated from God? Yet why would God create something that would lead man – his beloved children and creations – away from the path which God has set for him? Why indeed?

Perhaps…if one were to look at it from this perspective, the devil’s purpose was to obstruct man. He was to lead them astray with the glamour of sin. He was meant to test man, to challenge their faith and their character, that those who believed should overcome it as a testimony to God’s power and grace. God provides obstacles and temptation, but He is a Holy God. Was He to lay such obstacles before man by himself? Was it not man himself who incited these obstacles, whether by the intention of other men or by falling into sin himself? Yet, why would man – even good men – be encouraged to perform sinful deeds? Was it not also on the account of the devil that many have fallen, as many as those who, by the weakness of their character and unbelief, allowed the devil to whisper into their hearts? Those who believed and held onto their faith and were obedient overcame the temptations and attained the favour of God. If one were to look at it from this perspective, then would one not say that the devil is also a tool? Would one not say the devil was moving under the influence of God, and thus is under His control?

Do you believe in the principle of duality? Everything that exists must have an exact opposite to counter each other. Light and dark exist to counter each other. Yet, can we do away with one of them? For without the other, is there meaning in the one which is left? Have you ever thought about what it would be like should there only be light and no darkness? Would we know that light is light, seeing that we have never known darkness? Or to be in eternal darkness, if we were to never know what light was to look like, would we long for its beauty? They exist in relation to each other, just as day exists with night. Parallel, chasing each other, but never to meet…

Similarly, good and evil…the idea that is associated with God and the devil, exist to give each other meaning…to be. If we have never seen evil, would we know what was good? Yet, does this tie with everything else? I don’t really know…I am not justifying the existence of the devil, but if one believes God exists, then one should also believe that His counterpart in nature exists. Whether the devil has a purpose or not, whether he too is tied to the all the other creations of God…that I can never seek to understand, because pure truth is sometimes painful, sometimes destructive, always elusive.

Back in HELP...

Huuu...finally back in college for a brand new year, brand new sem. It looks like it's gonna be a tough sem, but an interesting one. I still haven't found a place to stay in...so I'm seriously considering staying at my aunt's place permanently. But it'll require a bit of work...like getting an Internet connection for a start...haih, too many facilities missing from the house.

Well, that aside, it looks like not much has happened...yet. Wait till the assignments pile in...bet I'll be too busy to think about much else. So for now, I've got nuts to say, but I'll check in if anything of interest happens.

Tag and the figure 8...

Yes, yes...I know I haven't been updating...*guilty as charged* I've noticed that once I'm back home I hardly touch my laptop (My mum touches it mostly) but yeah....seriously, there's nothing much to write about life back in Ipoh. After all, this is a slow-moving town, with no fast-paced activities. So yeah, nothing much to say. Oh, I didn't get to go to Bon Odori coz my brother's 'cialat' school has exams...on a Saturday...in the afternoon!! What stupid school does that? *grumbles* I was so looking forward to it too...

But I got to meet up with an old high school friend, who's now studying in Penang, which is good. And my dad is coming back soon, which is even better!! XD Since this entry lacks body, I'll make it up with the tag Jas tagged me with. XD

8 Things I'm Passionate About

1. Books

2. Music

3. Movies

4. Food~~

5. DBSK

6. Suju

7. Manganime

8. PEOPLE!!!

8 Things I Said Too Often

1. Uwagh... *I know it's not a word...*

2. Hai hai...*this is Jap*

3. Weh? *and this is Korean*

4. Why are you so 'kiasu'? *in Cantonese and to my mum mostly*

5. Uh....

6. *breaks into song*

7. *still singing*

8. What else are you expecting? I say a lot of things very often.

8 Books I Read Recently

1. Let's see...Eldest

2. The Historian

3. Nancy Drew *I have nothing do to...so reading old books*

4. Septimus Heap Book 4: Queste

5. Skulduggery Pleasant..I'm actually reading it whenever I visit MPH, since books are just not getting any cheaper.

6. Baking books...what?

7. Newspapers....

8. Generally, almost anything I can locate in my little library.

8 Songs I Can Listen Over and Over Again

1. Love in the Ice by DBSK

2. Beautiful You by DBSK

3. U by Suju

4. You are the One by Suju

5. Deep in Your Heart by Domoto Koichi

6. Eien Ni by Kinki Kids

7. Love in the Phi by Kinki Kids

8. Fragrance by Gackt. *This was tough! As you can see...I'm very hooked to Jap/Korean songs*

8 Things I've Learned In The Past Year

1. That the Domoto Koichi of Jyu Oh Sei is the Domoto Koichi of Kinki Kids...I know, that's kinda lame...

2. Psych stuff I learnt over the year

3. I gained weight! XD

4. Certain guys are absolutely sexy when they dance XD

5. I sing with a chest voice apparently

6. My mum has a mild psychological condition, sigh...

7. I'm not a kid anymore *though I sure don't feel like an adult*

8. Mum has estimated the value of all the books we have in our mini library to be around 20k....Wow, and to think, I still feel that we don't have enough books..

8 People I Tag

1-8. Everyone that has been tagged by everyone else, if you know what I mean...

Cosfest Pt. 1

Whew!! It's been a busy weekend, and I've got lots to tell! Went down to Singapore for Cosfest 2008, and boy! It was a totally new experience for me. It's perhaps the first time in...I dunno, 5 years...to visit Singapore. And I went without my family members too...which was another refreshing experience. Stayed with Gwen, who had been very kind to host me throughout my stay and take care of all my needs.


Cosfest was different from any conventions which I've attended in Malaysia...probably because the cosplayers in Singapore have a great deal more liberty. I mean, M'sian cosplayers have a lot of restrictions..especially concerning how much skin we show. But in S'pore..wow, those cosplayers really don't mind showing some cleavage if it's necessary (there really was one cosplayer who did that..since her character does that often, I suppose it's in character). Basically, on the first day, I was helping Teri with her costume and played PA (personal assistant). Helped carry her stuff and followed her around for her photoshoots and stuff...fixing her hair and costume when necessary. Lol, I feel like those 'noonas' who followed Suju and DBSK around XD. But it was really cool coz I get to see Teri in this:

Yup...that's Teri in a dress...but seriously she looks hot in this...what with blond hair and all. For your information, she's cosplaying Konishi from a game called Subarashiki Sekai. Here are some other pics from Day 1.

Group photo of the Subarashiki gang from left: Beat, Joshua, Shiki, Neku and Rhyme

Joshua (masako) and Rhyme(michy), I think

Neku (sizer) posing emo

Dr. Frankenstein from Soul Eater

Meh fave DGM bishi, Lavi! Very bishi ne?

That's all I can post for now...need to rush for class...will post the other pics once I get them from Teri. All pics are credited to SG cafe and copyright of all respectful photographers. Please do not take it out of my blog and use it, coz it's not mine to give. Thankies~

A Message to Two Friends + Snatch Thief Incident

Too many things have been happening lately...just when I recovered from a period of 'emotional low'...someone else catches it.

Just found out some shocking news today. It was....absolutely unpredictable. It was one of those things that you thought would only happen on TV, but yet, faced with that reality, one can do nothing but to accept that things like that do happen. At times like these, there is nothing that a friend could do to relieve your burden but to be beside you and support you emotionally. We're still too young to do anything...and it is still a matter that should be handled by the family. Even if we have the intention to help, the truth is, we have no such ability...but we can offer you support as friends.

I know you're feeling the pressure and responsibility as the eldest to hold up the family...and I know that you won't let yourself fall. I, too, would say to you...stay strong. But know that you don't have to rely on yourself totally...at moments when you feel like you might fail, know that your friends are always around to offer your strength, to hold you up in this moment of crisis. We are always here to be your pillar...never hesitate to confide in any of us. Most of all, stay strong as a family. Family support is very important in times like these. I know you're not a believer, but know that things happen for a reason. God does not give us a challenge that we cannot overcome. No matter what happens in the future, we will continue to be by you. This event will definitely change your life...and you may find yourself hitting the ground, but the most important thing is to be able stand up again. I'm not being pessismistic, but I just want you to know that...life will go on no matter what happens. So let's face this hurdle together, okay? *big huggies*

And the other one....don't know what happen to you...but seeing you today kinda made me feel very worried and frustrated. I didn't know what to say...so I left you to yourself. I'm....not someone who's very good at comforting people...without saying something that might hurt them. But looking at you today, well, it made me sad that I can't do anything to help you. I really don't know what happened, but I want to say that you can always talk to us. I know you're someone who's afraid of bringing trouble to other people...what with all the issues that we've been facing lately. But seriously....don't try to bottle everything inside. Like you told me...when there is something bothering you, share it with us. However, I'm not going to force you share if you feel that it's private and something that needs to be dealt with personally. But know that you never need to feel 'paiseh' around us okay? Don't worry that you'll 'ma fan' us, okay? If you really need to, talk about it. *more big huggies*

I'll be praying for you two...so ganbatte!

On a side note...today a snatch thief grabbed a girl's belongings when she came out of the bank at KPD. We were just walking when we heard someone cry out, and te next thing we know...two men rushed on motorbikes to try and chase the thief. Not sure if they caught him, but the poor girl was in distress...so warning to all my HELP friends. Be careful yeah...and best to move around with company. God bless.

Renewed and Refreshed

The weekend has given me a change of pace...which was crucial for me to just get away from everything for a while....and indeed I had to. Went back to my uncle's place and discovered that his internet connection died, so yeah...in a way, I was cut off from...stuff. So what did I do in an 'Internet-less' condition? I went back to meh good ol' hobby....watch drama. My uncle has some interesting series...CSI Hong Kong version...but I must say I prefer CSI. More sophisticated ma...

Then of course, I tried to study for MCH123...gah....read a lot, but nothing in the brain. I think have to utilise the art of crapification again. Just hope got stuff to crap about ><

And then came Sunday....which I have been looking forward to. For the previous week, I've been under a lot of pressure (from what, I dunno la...) Felt like an emotional dump....that's why so emo la....but went to church and cell again... Once again, the Lord has opened His arms to me, to welcome His child home. In His presence, I felt Him reach inside me, as though to touch my burdened heart, and I felt Him silently urging me to surrender all my misgivings, all my pain to Him. And as the tears flowed down my cheeks, I felt Him healing my battered confidence, lifting my physical fatigue...and most of all, renewing my spirit and my thirst for His presence. Here, in the House of God, all the moments of darkness which I have gone through for the past week just disappeared, and now the clouds have cleared.

And I know that He had sent people into my life...friends who cared for me and are truly concerned about me, family members who are supportive....cell members who would always welcome me with open arms whenever I come back. He sent these people into my life to make a change, to make an impact on my life, to catch me when I stumble in my walk with Him. And there are those whom He sent to challenge me, but God does not give man a challenge he cannot overcome. The same time He challenges us, He provides us with the tools and the abilities needed to overcome the challenge. Don't you think it's amazing?

I really thank You, Lord, that you have placed these guardians in my life, to help me when I'm weak, to share my joy and my sadness, Father Lord, that You have known my moment of weakness, Lord, and You sent them to show that they love me, that You, Father Lord, above anyone else, love me. Lord, I pray that I will be used in the same manner, to show other people that there are those who care for them. Lord, I pray that I do not love with my own capacity but to love with Your capacity, because Your love can truly exceed boundaries. Lord, use me to work in other people's lives so that they too, can experience Your amazing love. Amen.

PS: Another note...EMERGE '08 is coming peeps! It's Aug 29-31. It's gonna be a fun-filled event, with competitions, performances and people are really gonna have a great time, as well as powerful sessions that will impact your life. Best of all, EMERGE '08 is OPEN TO ALL, so people, make sure you come along. In fact, you can participate in the competitions if you're interested. We have loads of events waiting for you, so come check us out at www.emergekl.my! Contact me if you're interested in going~~

You know who you are...Thanks

Hey...thanks for your words yeah? It's just that....well, I really have a...problem with being left out on conversations and stuff...and well, maybe some of you can deal with it when you don't un what's going on or maybe some sort of secret joke or hidden meaning or whatever, but I have an extreme complex about it. And I think I'm a bit paranoid, because when that happens, I feel like I'm totally left out. Even when I tell myself not to be so paranoid, the feeling gets better of me sometimes. It's something that I've been struggling with for...years? I think it's just me...maybe you're right. Maybe it's about time I slow down. Don't worry...I don't think there are any arguments, and I can tell you all the bonds I have with all of you are real. I just....have a problem with attachment. I just hope I can really be honest with myself...and sort out this issue soon. Haha, thanks again.

Makeover? To do or not to do...

A quick, random post...do I need a makeover? I've been carrying the same image since what, primary school? Even my long-time friends don't feel that I've changed much. Makes me wonder if I should like, get a makeover.

My mum used to say, "There's no such thing as an ugly woman, just a lazy one." Kudos to you, mum! But hmm....a bit 'ma fan' le...(troublesome, that means). I mean, want to do something to my hair....but it's prone to damage, so not sure if I should do anything drastic to it....plus the curly-but-not-entirely-curly nature of my hair makes it a pain to style. Can't go for short hair coz mum won't let me...and I don't think it fits me. Plus can't dye....it'll kill my hair T_T No parental permission either...maybe I should go see a stylist?

I suppose I can try other things la....like modify the way I dress etc...but seriously, in Malaysia it feels more like a pain than anything. I'm really picky about what I wear...need to consider the weather, the occasion...mood. At the end of the day, the best combination to suit all these would be the ever reliable jeans and tee with sneakers. And someone once told me to learn makeup, but....practical or not when I have to walk to college? I mean, how can you expect anyone to makeup in this weather? Will melt immediately okay? Plus if you sweat with makeup on....ugh....that's so bad for your pores. But one day want to play around with eyeliners and stuff lol...saw Mika draw with them once, now curious...

Bleh...at the end of the day, must still see the most important factor...got MONEY or not???

Mood Gone Haywire

Something was wrong with my 'aerial' today.... Couldn't connect to anyone today...hmm.... It's the old feeling revisiting...the feeling I really hate the most.

I don't know what was bugging me....but something was definitely wrong. Started off fine...then around lunchtime...I felt myself sinking into an unmistakably familiar...yet unwelcomed mood. Yeah, once again, the feeling of being in the crowd but not part of it.

Everyone has a particular...issue that bothers them once in a while. For me...well, I've always been struggling with this type of loneliness, if I can call it that. It's really bizarre, actually...since I've never seen myself as someone who would have problems being social, but yeah... Maybe it's because I'm so social that I have this problem...a need for reassurance that I'm not just some decoration on the wall. I really have an issue huh?

I've been pretty free from this feeling since, I don't know, a pretty long time. But I guess, occasionally, things like these need to come back and haunt you for a while. Maybe the hiatus made the feeling grow stronger...like some form of accumulation or stagnation, but it really hit me hard. I couldn't find the energy to just...be my usual cheerful self...or maybe I didn't want to, I don't know...

It's like, someone pushed you off a really high cliff...but you don't want to try opening the parachute 'cause you're enjoying the fall. Yeah, something like that. It's not a feeling I like, but I need to steep myself in it once in a while. I believe people call this feeling 'Solitude', something that's not necessarily nice, but necessary...I believe it's necessary for me anyway. It's at times like these I sit down and get in touch with myself...I spend a lot of time with people, so much that sometimes, I forget that I'm a person too...I too need to talk to myself sometimes.

So yeah...I was just...immersing myself in the feeling... At one point, I think I was throwing a tantrum...a quiet tantrum. But at who or what? Beats me. Then I told myself, look, remember what you always say to all those depressed friends about feeling depressed? Give yourself time to mourn, then get over it! So yeah....I realised I couldn't snap out of it...the intensity was really different, I guess it must be because I haven't been down for so long, so I did what I usually do when I hit rock bottom.

I starting writing on a piece of paper....using writing as a medium to talk to my inner self...and let the writing just flow till I hit the main cause...which I did, I guess...because that's when I feel the words flow like they needed to be said, and I could no longer write legibly....I was literally scribbling across the paper. I could feel my expression hardening, changing...and finally, I came to the end of the rant.... Then I tore the paper to bits....a little symbolism, I guess...as a sign to tell myself that this issue has been said, dissected and gotten over with. Then slowly in class, my mood picked up till I was finally laughing again at Ms. Winnee's sarcastic jokes.

Moments like these make me think that no one is immune to feeling down at times. (Yes, even a person who seems like she only sees the bright side of things) But I guess the most important thing about the whole issue is how you handle the emotions...how to experience it without letting it take control over you, and learning to carefully dissipitate the emotions....so you don't hurt others or yourself. I'm still feeling some of the repercussions of the 'episode'...still in a quiet mood...especially since it's a 'Rainy Night', yes, Junsu? But I think after some sleep, I'll be back to becoming a loud and bright Sarah again.

Baz's Bday Bash

Went back to Ipoh last week to celebrate my bro's birthday early. The celebration called for the good ol' home-cooked meal, with the menu partially picked by the birthday boy himself; mixed grill, durian cake and 'tang yuen' (don't ask me why, but my bro really likes 'tang yuen'), with other dishes such as homemade pizza, salad, pasta and of course, red eggs included in the menu. As usual, such a banquet was prepared by the best cook in the Yung family, meh mum! XD

Just a short post with a few pics.

The dishes for the bash...everything looks good eh?

Meh family members, posing with the homemade durian butter cake

The kitty I 'adopted' from the streets, Jac (my sis named her, don't ask me) posing for a photograph

Another pic of naughty Jac...who doesn't seem to be afraid of people. Ever seen a cat on a leash coz it can't behave?

Of Books and Birthdays and the Brand New Semester

Woah, I've been taking a long break off my blog. Partly because I'm back in Ipoh, mostly because what I was doing in Ipoh. I must say...once I got back, I literally glued myself to the PS2..haven't played for a long time, and my bro finally bought back Shadow Hearts 2, but it was the Jap version (We had the English one once...but I think my mum threw it away T_T)

So yeah, spent the whole week playing Shadows Hearts 2, and watched lots of TV. There is no TV where I stay in KL...and eat lots of good Ipoh food...went to Camerons and had tea there...went to Penang for a day trip and eat some good Penang Food. Did some shopping too. (Actually, my mum did the shopping, but she got me a new pair of shoes out of the trip XD)

Me and meh siblings...my bro 'leng chai' le? XD

In Penang's Queen's Bay Mall

UTAR Kampar...scenery is superb here.

Our beloved Luffy...ain't he cute?

And most importantly, I've been catching up on reading. I've been devouring my books like crazy...with what time I have left from PS2. Managed to digest 'The Shakespeare Secret'...gonna do a small book review here:



I like books that challenge me mentally, and are able to engange me into their storylines. So yes, I like books which have language capable of transforming words into graphics in my head, and plots which allow me to think about the 'whats' and 'whys' abd 'hows'. Chick lits lack these severely, with a few rare exceptions. This book is essentially another 'Da Vinci Code' in the guise of English Lit. Basically, it talks about a woman who is searching for a long lost (perhaps legendary) play of Shakespeare and a murderer is on her trail. Really interesting plot twists, and the story is well-grounded. If you're not a fan of Shakespeare or English Lit...or even Da Vinci Code, then I think this book may not appeal to you very much.

Then I literally chewed through 'The Black Book of Secrets', a fantasy fiction of a Secret Pawnbroker and his assistant. I find the concept of pawning secrets interesting, and the relief and breakthrough brought by unloading these secrets remind me very much of psychologists and counselors in general. Now, if I can just go back and grab Book 4 of Septimus Heap...The Queste, if I recall correctly. I'm craving for some good horror-based novels too...I miss my Anne Rice vampire novels

I'm now back here in KL for my 3rd semester. Really sucks that I can't take PMG101...which translates to having to take an ADP elective...which means staying back for an extra week. >< Just hope we can take some interesting elective. On a side note, Ms Winnee's class looks to be another interesting sem. XD It's interesting when you have a lecturer who has OCD and has all sorts of cute and funny quirks! XD

Today is Gorgan's birthday! Whee~~~ Happy Birthday, our beloved 'Umma' and Jie~~ XD

We decided to surprise him a bit. Pretended not to remember it was his birthday, then got him cake and coffee from San Fran's. When we burst into birthday song and gave him the cake, his whole face was red...I think he was close to tears, hahaha... And we got him the necklace! Hahaha, he was smiling into his nasi briyani the whole time! I'm really very glad that he was happy. I don't think anything makes me happier than seeing the smiles of those who are close to me. ^^ Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside (corny, I know).

PS: I've updated the songs of the month too. If you've never heard them before, give it a try. If you have, well, I say listen to it anyway. 'Whatever They Say' and 'Somebody to Love' really display DBSK's harmony and prowess. And 'So I' is a really sweet song from Super Junior. (Yes, I'm sure my fandoms are apparent by now)

Another Tag XD

Whee~~ Imma tagged by Jas again lol! Kk, here we go~

Name 5 people you can think of right off the top of your head.Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 5people.This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list the names first..NO CHEATING!
1. Jasmine
2. Mika
3. Gorgan
4. Karmun
5. Anne

1. How did you meet 1? (Jas)
- Uhh....in all honesty, I can't quite remember lol! But I think it was in Bio class? Yeah, I think so.

2. On a scale of 1 -10 how would u rate your friendship with 1? (Jas)
-Whee~~ 9.5! I don't ever give perfect marks, because then it means there's room for further improvement/development! ^_~ *huggies*

3. How long have you known 4? (Karmun)
- Uh...almost 2 years, since Foundation.

4. How do you know number 3? (Gorgan)
- LOL, this one I remember. I was going to join Kim for lunch and was introduced to Gorgan, Ling and Amanda. Oh, and Leonard too! I think the first thing we talked about was a Christian book, lol. And like many people, I misheard his name as Gorgon (as in Medusa the Gorgon lol).

5. Wheres 5? (Anne)
- Back in Ipoh

6.A fact about number 1? (Jas)
- Uh....a Scorpio? XD

7.Who is 4 going out with? (Karmun)
- No one! *PR for Karmun* Hot chick, single and available, please contact her 'agent' for interview and evaluation. Preferences include hot body (like Yunho's), good-looking (like Yunho), manly (like Yunho) and oh, did I mention like Yunho? XDDDD

8. What does 1 do for a living?(Jas)
- LOL...she lives by eating food, breathing air and drinking water. Extra nutrition originates from DBSK, gets sugar high over Yoochun and has an antidrug called the Psycho Squad. XD

9. Would you live with number 3? (Gorgan)
- Uh, I think he would have a bigger problem about it. ^_~

10. What do you like about number 2? (Mika)
- Ooohh...she's a very interesting person. Has a lot of skills (she dunno only XD). *glomps*

11. Do you miss number 5? (Anne)
- Yeah...hope I'll be able to ask her out for a drink when I go back to Ipoh.

12. Would you make out with number 4?(Karmun)
- Uh...like duh, no. Sorry, Karmun, but you're not exactly my type, ne? And I'm sure I'm not yours. (Faham-faham la ha XD)

13.What’s your opinion of number 2? (Mika)
- Like my lil' sister. She's realistic, calm...and can really make me laugh. ^^

14. What's your favorite memory with number 5? (Anne)
- Just talking over a drink about various things...really miss those times..

15. What would you do if number 1 (Jas) and 2 (Mika) were going out?
- If you mean as in hanging out, then chances are, I'm hanging out with them as well. If you're talking about something else...I'll wait till that happens and see. *fufufu*

16. Ever had a long conversation with 5? (Anne)
- We don't have short conversations.

17. Have you ever slept at 2's house? (Mika)
- Nope...not yet. (Wait la...hehe, it'll be your turn soon enough XD)

18. Do you hang out with 3 a lot? (Gorgan)
- Let's see...on a daily basis in class...plus weekly lessons..and random outings. What do you think? XD

20. How often do you talk to 1? (Jas)
- Uh....like...every time I see her, which is like, every time we go to class? Oh wait, I talk to her even when I don't see her (via a system called MSN lol).

21.What about 2? (Mika)
- Hm..a lot too, though in a different sense. Her definition of a lot is slightly different than mine.

22. Have you ever thought 3 more than a friend? (Gorgan)
- *raise eyebrows* Must I answer this question?

23. Would you go out for a date with 5? (Anne)
- My dear, we've been on dates before...that's what we call those outings. XD

24. Do you dream about 2? (Mika)
- Sometimes, yes...together with the rest lol!

25. What did no 4 did to you that you can never forget? (Karmun)
- Uh....not that I would forget much...but nothing that would cause me concern? ....No wait...banging her car while I'm in it with her lol.

26. What have you done for 1 that the person never forget? (Jas)
- Oh....some...like her *cough**cough**cough* and all the talking we did XD

27. What's 3 hobby? (Gorgan)
- Electronically related....like going online, play PSP...watch shows (like Nodame) XD

I'm gonna tag...Regina and Leonard! Whee~ this was fun! ^_____^

Another 'interesting' presentation from the Couple's gang...

Birds of a feather flock together...just when I thought that girl-half of the Couple was the only one with a weird presentation, enter her friend...who's always with them. Today, it became clear to me how these two could be good friends.... -_-;;; Let me tell you what's the differences between the two presentations...

Firstly, while the girl picked a weird job, her friend, whom I shall call 'Bai' (Chinese for white, coz she normally wears white...of course, you can attach some other words at the back for different meanings..) Well, 'Bai' has a pretty normal job...a lecturer.

Secondly, while the girl was bombarded with questions, 'Bai' hardly had any. The reason?? Let me then say this is where the similarity starts. The presentation was weird....WEIRD!!!

She came up to the front to present, and the first thing she said was "My name is *beep* and I will be your PSY001 lecturer."

I thought, 'Okay, so she's going to roleplay...'

Then after that, she said, "I give you 5 minutes to ask me questions about my job."

What??? You haven't presented anything, what do you expect us to ask?? All of us were like staring at her dumbfounded...for once, I couldn't think of what to ask. Then 3 people asked la...

"Do you think you're qualified to teach?"

"Why a lecturer?"

"What is your long-term goal?"

Then after that...total silence....I think if I dropped a pen, it'll sound like I dropped a brick. Most of us then thought, 'Ah, maybe she wants to do the Q&A session first, then do her presentation...' because the next thing she said was, "If there are no more questions, I will proceed with the lecture. (pause) That is the end of the roleplaying session. Are there any questions about my presentation?"

Of course don't have la! You haven't presented anything! So we all sat quietly and waited patiently for her to go on....then....

"Thank you."

What? Huh? Huh?? Over already??

That was how all of us were feeling then. I actually really wanted to ask her something but I didn't because I don't really have the authority...and I might make a poor little girl cry, so I kept me mouth shut. I shall rant here!

Granted, you are qualified to teach, but what makes you suitable for the job? What makes you stand out from the rest? There is a difference between being qualified and being suitable.

Are you aware that we are your future employers and not your future students? Do you feel that you have the right temperament to be a lecturer? (Given that I've seen her burst into tears over some silly issue of not being the best)

Given that the objective was to persuade us that you are suitable for this job, do you think the presentation style was appropriate? Do you think you have effectively persuaded us, who are your prospective employers?

I admit that this is very creative, but do you think you have provided us with sufficient information to decide whether to hire you or not? If the information is not sufficient, are you aware that you will not be considered for the job?

Haih...I'm utterly convinced that some people just have low EQ...or no common sense. -_-;;;

On a side note, my own presentation went okay. I think I managed to answer the needs of the presentation, so I'm glad. Finally, I'm totally free from assignments and projects! Now off to meh books...*scuttles off*

Super funny day at church

Church was good today....something touching happened, something hilarious happened..let's go in chronological order.

Bible study at 8.30...yeah, had a different 'teacher' this week too... Li Li was her name, I think. Combined class today so...woah, a lot of people. Then service was awesome. I found it very meaningful...and relevant to what I was thinking about.

And now...the highlight of this post. XD *already laughing just thinking about it* After service, went to lunch with the cell members....and well, one of them just had uh...an unforeseen crisis. Naturally, when 6 girls gather together and she brought up a topic like that...all of us pestered her to tell us.

I was eating wantan mee that time...just hearing the beginning part was so funny, I was trying hard to chew and swallow while grinning from ear to ear. XDDDD And my cell leader just walked over, so she had to repeat the story. At this point, my laughing meter was already reaching the full tank. But I continued to eat without really laughing. While I was drinking soup....aish, she blurted out the highlight. It was sooooo funny that I was totally overcome by a sudden desire to burst into delirious, hysterical laughter.....which I most unfortunately did....with my mouth full of soup....so yeah....ended up spraying "holy water" halfway across the table and "blessing" 2 members.

Sorry! >< But I really couldn't help it....it was soo funny!! And my cell leader...and other members were laughing their heads off when I did that, which didn't help, coz it made me laugh even more! LOL Aigoo~~~ it was sooo embarrassing, but it was soooo hilarious!!!

PS: Rev. Ps. Kong of City Harvest S'pore will be coming to City Harvest KL to preach! He's a wonderful man of god, so do come for the service and listen to him preach. It will touch your lives. For more details, pm me! ^_~ *hinthint* You guys are attending right?

L Change the World + My take on friendship

Ok...let me first do this...*squuuuuuuuuueeeeeeaaaaaaaallllllll* Yaaa~~ Matsuken is soooooo cute/cool/charming/quirky!!!!

Okies, now on with the story. After our 103 finals, during lunch, my friends and I were discussing when we should go and see the movie L: Change the World. And since we had time to spare, we decided to go there and then! So 5 of us....Karmun, Mika, Gorgan, Ling and I (actually Jas was with us too, but she didn't go for the movie) went and watched the show la.

My take on it? Totally satisfying! XD I shall comment without spoiling (too much). XD

Storyline

Sound...admittedly the plot isn't something as groundbreaking as the previous movies, but most of the aspects were covered pretty well..no major plotholes (and we all know how thankful we must be to that)

Visuals

This is of course, cool. Directed by the director of The Ring (sorry, can't remember the name) so there were some parts which were really cringe-worthy. Aside from that, totally no prob!

Cast

Aaahhh...now this is what I really wanna comment on..saving the best for the last, let me start with the little boy. Haha, he's such a cute boy! Basically he didn't have many lines, but I think for a kid as young as him, he did pretty well in conveying his character. Next, the girl who played Maki. Guys (and girls, too), never piss off a girl/woman/lady...you will suffer the consequences. Hell hath no wrath like a woman scorned. The actress, whose name I can't recall, is good with her expressions, especially of anger. The look she put on her face...woah... She's also very pretty.

Now, the main star of the show....Matsuyama Kenichi!!! Kyaaa~~~ He's soooo cool in this! And portraying L's cute antics perfectly, I must say he captured L's character wonderfully. And the best part is you get to see the different...more human parts, of L's personality. Characters like L are not easy to play, so I think Matsuken did a great job. LOL, on screen, whenever L did something cute, the whole cinema would react. XD And when he did something cool..well, I don't know about the rest of the cinema, but Mika and I clapped LOL.

So yes, people! Go watch it! For those who lament the lack of L cameo during the previous movies, this is the movie to watch. I assure you you'll fall deeper for this quirky character L, and be enamoured by the charms of his actor, Matsuyama Kenichi.

Ok, now that's finally out of my system...let me progress to something a little more...bland. I heard this phrase....from someone...whom I honestly don't have much respect for (and I'm having less and less respect).

Some friends are like diamonds, precious and hard to find.Some friends are like fallen leaves, could be found everywhere.

Now...I won't talk about the person who said this (because all of us know ma...) but I'll give my opinion on this topic of friendship.

Friends, in my vocab, are never diamonds. To me, false friends are like diamonds. Why? Because they're just for looks. They cost you everything, but give you nothing in return, except for a pleasant outer perception. Really, I really could do without diamond-like friends.

I have no analogy for a real friend, but I can tell you this...a real friend doesn't judge you, they don't push you away when you turn to them...they share your laughter and your tears. When you do something wrong, they correct you and then comfort you. When you achieve something, they might tease you, but in their hearts they will rejoice for you. I think, real friends are the ones who you could always call in the middle of the night, and they'd still entertain you (provided they hear their phones la...) More than anything, a real friend knows how not to compromise you for his/her own sake.

I don't know how many real friends I've met in my 20 years....but I know I've met a bunch of people who I trust to be my real friends, and who trust me to be their friend in return too. What about you?

Back in Ipoh

I'm back in Ipoh, lalalala~~

Had to get up early...go and photostat one more cert... Finally submitted the form..hopefully I will be able to get the scholarship. then rushed to Puduraya to board the bus. Woah, luckily I made it in time for the 11.30 bus.

Despite trying to sleep in the bus...didn't really get to. Kept waking up after a while....the result? Ended up more tired -_-;;; しかしなあ。。。久し振りここに帰たよ。

Didn't really do much after I came back...just lazed around. I did attempt to study 103 a bit (lugged the textbook back...haih). But didn't get very far. Tomorrow gonna head to Kampar TAR for their Open Day. Sam is gonna check out the courses...and so is mum. They kept asking me if it's ok to go -_-;;; Hello...I'm not the one who's going to possibly study there...don't ask me la...

Aaahh...suddenly I miss the piano lol! Since I won't really have the opportunity to practice here...haaa....

Interesting day + Suju-M!?

Wow, had a really interesting day today! First and foremost, thankies Karmun for fetching me to college today! Last tut for 103, but hey, at least it was interesting. Handed up all my assignments, so yeah..now I can finally concentrate on revision. Some highlights of today:

Coffee with Ai Rene at San Franscisco's
Met Ai Rene before MC100 tut...she asked me if I wanted to go and have coffee with her, so I did since I had time to kill. So, Ai Rene and I..and her friend whose name I cannot recall, the 3 of us went to San Frans'. For as long as I've been studying in Block E, that's the first time I stepped into that shop. Ordered the hot choc 'cause I don't drink coffee XD

For almost an hour, Ai Rene and I talked about anime and BL stuff...yeah, lol... We were totally fangirling over seiyuus. Her poor friend....Mei Hui! There, I remembered her name! XD Mei Hui...hopefully she didn't feel too left out lol. But yeah...then Edward came in and we all went back to Block E. And then, I asked Ai Rene the unimaginable.

"Does [someone] not like me? I get the feeling that she's not too pleased with me." We all know who la ha... Anyhoo, I asked her that and she blandly told me yes. LOL! Well, not outright la, but of course anyone can see that things aren't really smooth between me and that person. But yeah...I said it must be because I'm "loud and annoying" *ahemquotesomeoneahem*

Then she said, "Yeah...and probably because you're very outgoing too."

Excuse me? You have a problem with me because I'm outgoing?? That's like, the weirdest reason I've ever heard. But even Ai Rene admits that it's 'cause of a clash of personalities. Yep, you got that right, girl. And so we discussed at length about the person....her different background and all...then I brought up another unimaginable topic...

Proximity...yep...that person's issue with personal (invading, more like) space. I can't quite believe myself....I mean, I actually went and said "If [someone] was being that close to a girl, then it's still okay, but to a guy I think...in M'sia anyway, [someone] should learn to respect other people's personal space." Then yeah, I brought up the whole...shimmying up to a guy thing...mentioned that it's not appropriate, especially when said someone does it to a guy from a totally different cultural background. Again, we all know who la.

So yeah...Ai Rene was like, "I'll talk to her about it." Ah well, as long as it can serve to better people, I can live with the fact that I just tried to advise that person indirectly. ><

The couple: female half's presentation

The Couple...some of you will know who I'm talking about...doesn't matter if you don't. Anyhoo...the girl..well...today is her turn to present in MC100. Gosh, at first I thought she was just different, but now she's plain weird!

"My next career move is to be a professional neutraliser." Translation: Professional assassin.

.........

Uh, excuse me? Are you delusional? You want a future career that involves killing people? And you give us all these crap qualifications about having weapons training and whatnots....are you even telling us one-tenth of a shred of truth? Heck, all of us were like

"Is that job legal?" Of course not!

"What about moral concerns?" Well, you have to be a cold-blooded person to be in the field, duh!

"What's the motivation?" Money all the way. Nicholas even asked her if it was a joke....-_-;;;;

And I thought she was weird before this...now she's plain scary. Our 'angel' couldn't process why someone would study Psych to kill people when she's studying so hard to help others. Well, Manda, there are all sorts of people in the world after all, it's not surprising there's a potential psychopath in our class.

So yeah...other things not as exciting, so I'll leave those out....

Edit: OMG!!!! Suju has a new subgroup??? I'm so behind!! Suju-M debuted in China...performed U (Chinese vers.) live...members are Hankyung, Shiwon, Donghae, Ryeowook, Kyuhyun, Henry and Zhoumi....

I get Henry, and I can accept him (coz he's talented and cute and all) but why another Chinese member??? I haven't even seen this guy anywhere before! Argh!!!! Mika....where are you when I want to spazz/rant??? T_T

Tagged!! LOL

LOL I got tagged by Jas! Oh well, since i haven't done one in ages, I'll answer this. ^^

Instructions: Remove ONE question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

1. What's your favorite anime at the present time?
- Hmm...currently Wallflower and Shounen Onmyouji.

2. Given the chance, what special ability/power would you like to have?
- Telekinesis XD

3. How do you think about yourself?
- A walking paradox who can do much more to be a better person.

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
- Japan! LOL I've been wanting to go since forever!

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
- Hmm....to love and to be loved? *hinthint* XD

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
- Yes, both in the literal and metaphorical sense.

7. What are you afraid to lose the most now?
- My loved ones.

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
- Donate some, invest some and spend the rest on my family and friends.

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
- It depends on the person's personality I guess. But I'm a bit sensitive to rejection, so I might have a hard time. So guys, take note! Even outspoken girls have their shy spots. ^///^

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
- Whee~~ caring, sincere and my close psycho buddy!! XD *huggies Jas*

11. How about something which the person can improve on?
- Hmm, I would say she needs to have a bit more confidence in herself, and be more positive.

12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
- People who can't learn to be considerate to other people, always thinking they're above others. If you've got no respect for people, don't expect people to respect you! ><

13. What is your ambition?
- Ambition? For now, to be a director. But my dream is to be able to bring happiness to people.

14. If you have fault, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
- Depends on who does the pointing out. If you're someone I respect, then I'd appreciate the comment, but if not...then I hope I won't blow you off.

15. What do you think is the most important in your life?
- God and Loved Ones. If God turned His face from me, I don't think I'll live a fulfilling life. If I had no family, no friends, then I will have no reason to be alive.

16. Are you a shopaholic or not?
- Depends on what item we're talking about. But I'm a big spender on food, so yeah... XD

17. What is the thing that you really want now?
- To know which path I should be taking in life...and also if I will ever be loved. (Yes, I seem like some love-deprived moron huh?)

18. Why does it hurt when you punch someone?
- Hmm...is this a trick question? XD

19. Is there anything that you have done which you regret?
- Yes, but what's past is past. It's important to be living now than to wallow in misery for what's happened. All is resolved in Him.

20. Are you hungry right now?
- Just ate dinner, but I'm craving a good bar of dark chocolate...or a Flurry. *goes off to search for sweets*

LOL, I had fun doing this, but I'm running out of people to tag! I know the 'gang' would have been tagged already, so I tag anyone who stumbles upon this blog! XD Unless you already did it la...

I'm okay now..thankies <3

Thank you to the Lord...for providing me with wisdom, courage and the strength to step up to my responsibilities. Thanks to all my friends for being so supportive...I was so touched when the moment I was so discouraged...all of you PMed me and asked me if I was all right. I'm okay now...sorry I worried all of you. Thanks, you guys are the best! *hugs all*

Just a short post on my much improved mood. The problem has not gone away...but I have a changed perspective now.

Something not so good happened...

I'm going to need to see Ms Yeo soon....things are...well, there are too many things happening too suddenly. Just over the weekend...something happened..not to me..but to my sister, and it looks like the problem is going to affect the relationship between her and my mum...and it wil burden my dad, no doubt.

I don't want dad to worry more than he has to now...he's already working so hard, apart from his family..as the eldest daughter in the family, I have to help solve this thing...because if I don't, all of us will regret it for life...and I won't forgive myself for letting that happen...

I'm so frustrated I even ranted in my old blog...it's been long that I did something like that...

Going off to bed now. Still need to go to church tomorrow.

Father Lord, is this a test from you? I feel so challenged and helpless...I know that with my strength alone, I can do nothing, but with Your strength, anything is possible. I want to pray for my sister...it looks like it'll take a miracle...but Lord, you can do all things. All I can do now is to pray for Your strength and Your guidance. I pray for wisdom when talking to my mum and sis...pray that I will know what to say to help them...pray that I can find a way to solve this problem so that their relationship won't suffer. Lord, Your child needs you now. She is weak, and You are strong...help me...In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

The power of melody, rhythm and lyrics combined

Music is an odd and wonderful thing. Throughout the ages, songs have shaped attitudes, recorded history, moved nations...it is perhaps one of the greatest gifts God has given humankind.

Having listened to music practically all my life, it struck me that there are always certain songs that reach deep inside us and touch us emotionally and spiritually. It was easy for music to shape my moods, but not every song I've heard have managed to move me. And being someone who enjoys songs from at least 5 different languages, it surprises me sometimes how I don't have to understand what the lyrics mean to feel it.

Of all the songs I listen to, Korean songs are on my foreign language list. At least, it means I don't understand the lyrics most of the time. But there were several instances a song moved me deeply...like the song 'You Are The One' by Super Junior. Although I like many of their songs, this song in particular has a soft spot in my heart. I remember seeing them perform this song on Youtube the first time...although I didn't get the lyrics, it brought tears to my eyes. I don't know why....it was just...something about the song sounded so beautiful, yet so sad. Up till now, songs like 'Endless Moment' and 'So I' have brought me close, but they never really induce that same bittersweet feeling I get from hearing 'You Are The One'.

Recently, I've also been really into 'Rainy Night' by Junsu of DBSK. Junsu's voice has this amazing ability to translate the music into emotions. Even Jaejoong can't bring emotions through as well as Junsu. Another DBSK song I really love is 'Love In The Ice', one of their Japanese songs. The breathtaking harmony aside, the lyrics are really wonderful. And when we're talking about lyrics, I definitely can't leave out Gackt! 'Fragrance' has one of the most contemplative effects a song can bring with its lyrics.

Have you ever heard any songs that move you? Give the songs a try...they're really nice.

I'm bored out of my mind...I hate boredom...I hooked onto my lappie...and surprisingly can't find anything interesting to do. Not even Youtube placated my boredom...geez, what's wrong? I don't feel like starting on my lab report, but researching for my MC100 is not turning up well. Is it so hard to find out how what kind of jobs a television production company offer??? ><

Mmm....what am I gonna do now? Go out? No money....work on the lab report? Don't wanna! ><

Maybe I should just sleep....or not. I'm not the napping type. If only I had a piano, then I could at least practice the piece Karmun taught me. Maybe I should just stare into thin air....yeah, feel like doing that...waste more time...=_=;;;

Long week....

It's been a long week...Got sick..coughed like mad and lost my voice too. Saw the doctor yesterday, so now taking meds. 早く元気なりたい！

Rushed for an assignment overnight...as usual...as a result, slept at 5 am. I've been pushing these time limits farther and farther, which isn't a good sign really. Wanted to start researching for another assignment, but gave up after trying to look for journals...I really hate looking for info...

On a happier note, I've been watching anime again, after a long-ish hiatus. Fell back to Wallflower (Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge), watching a new series Spice and Wolf...and trying to catch Shounen Onmyouji which I've been wanting to watch. Hitman Reborn is on my list as well....

Tomorrow is the research colloqium..ああ~行きたくないよ~

PS: I took this...name test thingy? Got it from Regina's blog. I'm pretty impressed, it's quite accurate...about a lot of things. Try it here: http://www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp

What a weekend...

What a weekend I had! First, the MC100 exam...hmm, I suppose I did ok...won't fail la...then after exam, supposed to head off to TS with Mika and Karmun. And when all of us were going down, the elevator got stuck between ground floor and first floor! XD We were all laughing like crazy, and Mika even said that it reminded her about this scene in Final Destination. I think we scared the poor guard who was stuck in there with us..LOL!

So the lift started moving like, 2 minutes later, no biggie...sent Jas to Central, then off to TS! XD Was recapping an interesting conversation to Mika and Karmun, then Mika and I went totally nuts over Wookie's "Oooohhhh.....umma~~~" scene in EHB *lmao*. Karmun stared at us as though we're aliens (maybe we are? XD)

Anyhoo...went to lunch at Summer Cafe (yes, food consists of 80% of my social life). After that, Mika went to pierce her ears...2 holes on the right lobe. ><

Wanted to buy the jacket I had my eyes on, but the shop was closed. >< But I ended up getting a pair of shoes/sneakers...it's greeeeeeeennnn.....and very the bling as Mika put it.

Then Sunday (today) was church of course...Bible study this week....but service seemed quieter for some reason. Maybe it's because some of the students had school holidays? Oh well....and I ended up staring at the bassist and one of the vocalists of the worship team. They looked really alike, so I asked some of my friends. Turned out they're brothers! Well, either way, they're both cute.......should I be saying this?

'Experiment' in college

Haha, ran our 'experiment' today at college. Was surprised to see how all of us can dress so differently. I think a lot of people noticed, and I witnessed first-hand the power of appearances. Hahaha, Lisa noticed Gorgan because of his dressing today. He really did look good today.
ゴルガン君、 もっとあれのような服を着ればいいんじゃない。

And people keep asking if I had a date...-_-;;; Should I be laughing or crying about it? I want my Eeteukie~~ Spazzing like crazy now....having to remain 'sane' for such a long time is taxing on my 'sanity'. Going to watch some EHB and space out. Tomorrow is going to be a full day MC100 marathon. Agh...

A little retrospection....

This has to be one of the most inspiring sermons I have ever heard. I was so moved by the presence of God in His house the tears just wouldn't stop. Thank you Ps. Pat...thanks Ps. Kevin...Leonard who brought me there, Baldwin who drove us there...Thank you God, for bringing me back into Your arms. I can't illustrate how much my life has changed because of You, and I know that this is only the beginning.

Sow with a mission....to ask myself what I really want is one of the hardest questions I can ever ask myself. You see, a normal person can tell they want to be so-and-so, do this, do that in the future, but not me...I don't know what I want...or maybe I do, but I don't want to acknowledge that's what I want. It feels like a sin sometimes...desiring that is like ripping against the canvas I've carefully painted. Everything was a mess, a blotch, an emptiness I cannot identify and a fear I will not allow myself to have. But today...today, hearing him ask us...me...what do I want? What do I want? What do I want?

There are several things...some more obvious...others subtle. The audition...rather than just to pray for success in it...I want to know if I truly have the abilities needed for this field. I want to be in SM Entertainment. Being a top entertainer in Japan, Korea...all over Asia...like them. I want to be there with Mika and Jas. I can't stand being there alone...please let them be with me, please let us go there together. I need direction in life...that which I desire may not be that which I am destined to do...but I believe that if the Lord's will is with me, I will discover the direction.

The next thing is....a bit embarrassing, a bit painful to talk about. I want a particular person, but I think I'm probably dreaming. I mean, crushing over idols? I'm past the age for that...but such thoughts have crossed my mind, and when I thought about what I wanted today, his face flashed across my mind. It was shocking...I can't be serious about this...perhaps this is a result of a little loneliness. I would be lying if I say I don't yearn for another person's warmth and love. Right now, my friends have been wonderful, giving me lots of love...but occasionally I feel the bite of loneliness, fleeting, phantom...no more..